Mental Health Thread • Page 103

I feel like I'm getting better in general, but I'm still having really bad hypochondria and obsessions and I feel like I'll have to address that sooner than later.

 

I got the job

 

Just so, so fucking tired of, well, everything at the moment.

 

i keep getting nightmares about my grandpa's death. it's irrational and dumb but i feel like it's payback for not showing a lot of emotion at his funeral

 

don't blame yourself bubs ily

 

Something happened at work today that helped pull me out of this super deep depression I've been in and I'm still feeling depressed but this event was just like wow I love my job and staff.

In our NICU, up to 3 family members are allowed at all times to be with baby except for 2 hours out of the day when they do night/day shift change. If we have draws up there I will run up there and do them during this time bc it's hard for parents to watch their babies have blood drawn but it is traumatic for them if they're premies. Premie babies are at the top of our priority list and you get to know the families very quickly.

I pushed my cart into one room and there was a man trying to open the incubator and unplug the baby. In our contracts we're not allowed to touch people in a force like manner even if they're doing wrong and we're supposed to trigger a code over the intercom by phone. He was blocking the path to the phone and I kept saying SIR YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE and he was straight ignoring me. I didn't want to leave him to get the incubator open so I screamed code green really loud and the nurses triggered it. Soon enough it was me and 2 floor nurses blocking his way bc AGAIN we're not supposed to touch anyone.

Once he figured out that he wasn't going to get baby and might not be able to get out he panicked and rushed us. He got through and I was pissed so I started chasing him and one of the oldest nurses we call "mama" bc she takes care of all of us like a mom lol came out of nowhere on the left and tackled that motherfucker HARD haha I have never seen anything like it. Once he was arrested, I went looking for mama and she has a couple bruises and scrapes but is ok. We're all prepared to defend her if they say something about her breaching contact or whatever but she did the right thing in all of our opinions.

This right here is why I love my job and the people I work with. We all have the same mindset. To protect and care for people. I have a make believe sheriffs badge somewhere at home and if I can find it I'm gonna give it to her to wear tomorrow haha

I need to remember that there are so many good people around even when the current state of our world is shit.

 

Today's a day where I feel like all the progress I feel I've made the past few months came crashing down. I feel miserable today, worse than I've felt in a while.

 

Today I made my own badge about how awesome I was cause nobody else did it which was silly cause lbr I deserved it

 

I will never feel as spiritually connected to a gif as this one. It's like my entire being in the form of a gif lol

 

harry for everything

 

I went to a therapist for a couple of months and was able to boost my self esteem out of the dumpster. In the process, even though it worked, I felt like I created a rift in my family, like, how dare I go to a therapist, that's so taboo in Asian American culture. Once I was done with my sessions, though, my life came crashing down--February was a disaster. But I knew there was a difference between depression and grief. I think I'm past the grief stage, but I still feel pretty shitty in general, so I don't know if the therapy helped at all or if I'm back where I was before. I think this time it's just a general loneliness of not seeing people regularly due to not having school or a job. I figured out that my self-worth isn't tied to (not) having those things (despite what my parents say), but negative thoughts still always find a way to creep in. I'm getting better at not letting them affect me, though.

 

I'm slowly getting better mentally, it helps that I meet people every single day, make new friends that say to me that I'm such a friendly and sociable person. It warms my heart so much considering only one year and a half ago, I still couldn't even talk to people without having a panic attack.

 

I think we've all been here

 

crazy last few days, lots of highs and lows with my relationship, job, and family. struggles. but coming out the other side now and after I get off of work tonight me and my girl have set time aside for complete and total.... erm... sort it out time lol.
so needed and I cannot wait. been so overworked and today I only have to do 7pm-12pm after the last few days being 10 hour days ON TOP OF all the craziness..
this metaphorical breathing out has been over a month coming; at least when it pertains to the concerns I'm getting the breath on.

 

In pain and depressed. I just want to give up.

 

I'm here if you wanna talk. Don't give up.

 

You're great and I hope you feel better!! Always here if you need to talk or anything.

 

You are an incredibly bright, wonderful strong person who lifts this forum up every day.

 

Omg apparently my little sister has had unprotected sex with multiple partners and I am over here dying like this is not a post I ever expected to make but I am lost! Like she knows all the stats and stuff but I'm thinking she's either 1). Feeling pressure to seem cool and down and go along with guys who don't wanna wear protection or 2). Has teenager syndrome where she thinks nothing bad will happen to her??

Small town can't get away with anything so oop. I'm struggling with it tho. Not the sex part but definitely the unprotected part. My other sister called me about it and we delved into past trauma and things and like opened up a weird can of worms. Today is bizarre.

 

I get the feeling that a lot of people think pregnancy is the only possible consequence of unprotected sex, which obviously it isn't, idk I'm so worried about that I don't get how people can do one night stands and not know if they were tested

good luck figuring out how to do this without it coming across as slut shaming which I know you won't

 

Yeah idk. My dad knows and is supposed to talk to her about it and like omg that poor soul idk how he's gonna have that convo. It's so odd for me. We have an age gap so for me and my other sister, our parents were teen parents and I think that factored in a lot with us being pretty careful. My sis was born later when they were older so maybe she's too far removed to remember that struggle? Idk! I am also uneasy about even knowing tbh. Being a teen is hard enough but when you live in a dumb small town and your family finds out ur having unprotected sex like.... omg. Part of me is like upset on her behalf and doesn't wanna bring it up, but the other part of me is upset and wants to? Idek. I do feel awful about the invasion of privacy so I have a lot of mixed feelings.

 

Just in a really bad place tonight. Feel like a huge fucking annoyance to the few people I want to be around. My head's a fucking mess. I just want to disappear for a while.