Mental Health Thread • Page 96

Get.
It.
Girl.

 

My mom text me to let me know it's her husbands birthday, clearly hinting for me to wish him happy bday. I'm being petty af tho and not doing it. Firstly, because he is not a great person. He voted Trump and said something so awful to my sister that she won't be in the same room with him anymore. Secondly, I just hate those kinds of things. I wish happy bday to ppl, but when it's ur mom basically making u say it, does it mean anything?? When he wishes me happy bday I know it's because my mom told him to and it is meaningless to me. We both know we're participating in the gesture because we're being told to perform a social script. It is meaningless and we both know it has no thought behind it.

I realize this is ridiculous and a normal person would just suck it up and say it but imma be stubborn here

 

Why am I the way that I am. Like I'm knowingly making my life unnecessarily difficult, and yet...

 

Oh shit, I almost peed my pants reading that. That's amazing.

 

the clouds in the background made it even better.

 

I feel ya. I work evenings/nights and never get to see friends (I already don't have many friends). My days off are spent sleeping and doing chores. I also never get invited anywhere by my friends and I get stuck looking at their snapchat stories going to dinner, and the bars. I told them what my days off are. It makes me feel forgotten and more depressed. Like they'll say we need to hangout but I never get any invites. :(

 

What did she say after that?? And does ur mum agree with u on politics?

 

She didn't say anything lol. She does agree with me politically but is more of a "Devils advocate" or "can't we all just hold hands and sing along" than I am

 

Just found out a very good friend died...I'm afraid it was drugs but they dk what it was yet. We used to do a ton of shit together. But he was so amazing and hilarious and I can't believe this happened. Wish I could've seen him one last time, I haven't seen him in about a year even though we spoke somewhat recently. Damn. I'm gonna miss him

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. If there's anything I or anyone else on this forum can do to help please don't hesitate to ask.

 

so sorry for your loss and all you've been going through

 

family dinner tonight, heres hoping it avoid the political and stupid nonsense as much as possible.

 

@sophos34 so sorry for your loss

 

I'm sorry @sophos34 ❤❤❤

 

I'm back. Had a really bad day I'm over it and I feel dumb about it. Thanks everyone so much for the good well wishes. Love you guys. @sophos34 im so sorry man. Take extra good care of yourself right now

 

today has been a day of every emotion and I'm just like "I didn't want this at all."

 

Thanks everybody. I'm just really scared that it was drugs (no word on what it really was) but I just wish I could've helped him. I never got to speak to him about my problem but we used to abuse Oxys (and some other stuff mostly blow) together. But I was a weekend user and he quickly devolved into every day use but after a while did the right thing and checked into rehab himself. I'm just afraid it didn't stick and things got bad. I don't know because I haven't seen him since November 2015 and he seemed to be doing really well and was clean from everything. We spoke a little bit in November 2016 and made plans to get together but it never happened. I really wish I would've gotten to see him one last time. I wish I would've gotten to tell him what I went through because if he was going through it too I could've helped him. And then there's the ultimate thought that's killing me.....that could've been me

 

Is it possible to have like lifelong anxiety and depression from trauma from a fatal car accident u were in when u were 3 that u don't even remember?? idk. I was talking with a friend to try and figure out what my deal is because I've had issues since at least kindergarten, but possibly before. Kinder is just when a teacher was able to make note of it and recommend me to a school counselor. My friend has worked with ppl in trauma for a while now, and she threw that idea out there. But then I'm like okay even if it is that, do u just try and tackle the ramifications of it cause like how would u even address something u can't remember happening?

 

I was about to break down at work today because they caused the most stress ever.

They give me a five hour shift instead of my usual seven. I get there and found out no one broke down the load of produce we got today and so the whole department is basically empty. I am now forced into running to fill tables while break down the load all in basically 4 hours because I had to go spend an hour to clean.

It was the worst and I was so close to breaking down. My co-worker before me felt so bad about leaving it that way. The main manager even felt bad. My work truly sucks sometimes.

 

I am sorry for my millionth post in here today. srsly, I'm sure it's a record. My brain is just reeling today.


Today my rm said she wished I would smoke with her to relieve my stress/anxiety since it works so well for her. She knows I won't cause I'm a weirdo, but then it got me thinking that idek how to not have anxiety or stress. What would that even look like? It's so life-long and like intrinsically linked with who I am as a person and my identity, that having that go away is almost scary? Like what would be left??? It's the only way I have ever functioned and I consider it a personality trait at this point. Without that, who would I be???

 

One of those nights where my depression has taken a toll and I can't sleep. Part of me feels like I should see a therapist, but I don't have time for that. Plus therapy won't work on me for my cause of depression. It gets more tough as the days go by, and what makes it more hard is that I'm alone.

 

Are there any objections to posting songs in this thread?

This is serious stuff, and I don't want to make people feel like it's a glamorous good time, but there are a lot of songs that helped me cope with things that I wouldn't mind sharing.

Also, sorry sophos, may your friend rest in peace. Take care of yourself.

 

I'm truly sorry for your loss Jake


Spent my night crying because I feel so awkward and embarassed concerning the girl from my class, we're both in love with each other but I fear I'm again interpreting things wrongly. It happened too many times due to my social phobia, which means that anytime someone gives the tiniest amount of attention for me, I get all overexcited and needy. Idk what to do, we will see each other tomorrow and she already invited me to do some stuff together, like play music, go to a bar, so I feel shameful for freaking out. I guess I should simply calm down and wait for our relation to continue at this pace. More and more people from my class, even those I didn't even know until the last few days, are asking me if she's my gf, or if we're in couple because "yo some of us were wondering about that". Maybe I gave myself too much pressure ? We'll see how things go. I just wish she had an apartment there, she's leaving school early every single day to take the bus and get back to her parents' home, and she works every Saturday, which is frustrating because we actually don't spend much time together. :/

 

Personally, I don't mind - not sure about anyone else, so if anything, I'd just love a list haha.

 

That sounds like a super awesome idea imo!