A1iens and A1rwaves [Archived] • Page 44

hahahahahaha. there's no money in book writing. well, unless you're absurdly famous.

 

It's all about the endorsements

 

@Garrett L. is gonna be the new face of Bic

 

from weezy f to g $

 

love that feeling of receiving paycheck and it's almost already spent so much

 

Buy less candles

 

No

 

Love looking at my budget spreadsheet and seeing that my account balance will be negative in a month

 

"Hi I'm Garrett Lemons, spokesman of Mead Five-Star"

 

Love not being broke for the first stretch in a while

 

don't play dustin this would be the dream

 

gfydh

 

Love to dive into my pool of gold coins

Sorry bad timing on my part

 

jk bud glad things are going well 4 u

 

Don't you also take showers by having your servants dump empty bottles of don perignon filled with fiji water over your head? Or am I mixing you up with someone else?

 

i feel like i'm going to throw up every time i hit send on one of these

 

I love making craigslist accounts with my friend's phone number and having him sell "exotic pets" on the cheap in LA

#TheseAreMyConfessions

 

You could be the next James Patterson or Stephen King, you got this!

Yes sir!

Guess you're gonna have to sell your Switch. At least it was a good week!

 

After my ex tanking my credit score I deserve my small victories

 

Brother asked me at like 12:30 if I wanted an energy drink, said he'd be right back, just needed to test the power steering fluid or something like that idk. 2:45 and he's a no show!!!

 

He steered too powerfully

 

Call and make sure he's not in a ditch

 

Mostly hedonism bot but I've been known to join him

 

He probably went to go see his gf - swear to god he's goes thru 'em like every 3 months and there's always another one waiting. Always buys 'em stupid expensive gifts too

 

I don't get it tbh - how can he always have a gf but I'm cursed to a life full of tfw no gf. Being super dramatic tho, a gf would just be something extra to worry about rn.