Mental Health Thread • Page 95

Just wanna let you know - You always have the most colorful and artistic avatars on here :)

 

I'd glare at her so fucking hard, and if she noticed, I'd be like "you think it's funny huh?" >_>

As y'all know...my patience is gone.

 

Isolation is never good (even though it temporarily feels good), we're here for you man, always. I'll keep you in my prayers

 

You know where to find me if you ever need anything

 

Well thank you!

 

I have been on different types of depression meds for 8 years. Prozac is the one that works best for me without the annoying side effects. Hopefully it helps you too.

 

Prozac gave me headaches, but Celexa works better for me.

 

Zoloft exacerbated my symptoms. The worst my episodes have ever been was when I was taking it.

It's really interesting to me that people have different reactions to different drugs. Especially when you have multiple meds you have to take. It has to create the perfect storm to be effective.

 

@Jacob ❤❤❤ I will stalk you through all of our social media..beware!

 

@Jacob Don't hesitate to reach out to me, we don't know each other but I'll do anything I can to help you if it doesn't bother you. Much love

 

Well I went and got my vivitrol shot. Going back to my old rehab and seeing the people and having to explain my relapse was so mentally exhausting

 

Not thrilled that I've spent two consecutive spring breaks cooped up in my house feeling like a bummer. I know that's probably petty or whatever but it's not a great feeling when I see my friends traveling and whatnot.

Also and more pressing than that is the the feeling that I'm just kind of slipping again, that I don't really belong anywhere, that I'm aimless in my life. I probably spend more time feeling overwhelmed by my lack of direction and isolation than I do actually accomplishing things.

 

I'm here if you ever want to talk

 

Made a positive change vis a vis job stuff recently and I've been feeling so light since. Baby steps to permanent good feelings.

 

My fiancee and I have set this "bare minimum to just get away from the bullshit and spark up our life" number financially.
It's not much really but it fully acknowledges the "If this is it you need to get to it as soon as you all make this jump" - more money set aside equating to more basking time. That's easy for me and her to understand.

That said my family has been very negative and in ways so has her Mom about what is going on and what's realistic. Sure a move takes money but I'm really tired of everyone being telling me "I have dreams" like they don't believe meanwhile I'm putting in the work and see the progress. I get it "Don't think about that if you see the progress" totally get that and I don't, definitely not from the deferring the progress angle. But I am so tired of everything from asking, expecting, counting my money to just the disrespect as to what my goals really are. Especially considering i've worn as a badge for years all i care about is my progress mentally & with my lady.

I don't understand (and refuse to even pretend to try to respect it enough to try to understand) why the "My balls weren't as big as yours to bet on me and mine" response is so prevalent but tbh.... I have went from disappointed hearing it to finding those people weak.
It's a bummer however, cus this is really the only thing that tries me to trying anymore cus tbh I don't care enough to even care about that maybe not being okay lol.
This either works or peace - AND WE'RE GREAT, so the negativity from them is shitty.

 

Just had a little freak out.. been trying to find the energy/motivation to clean and organize my place and it's been about 4 days now (I'm extremely OCD and it takes me about 9-12 hours to clean the place and I can't really move on until everything is back in it's exact spot) got aggravated once I finally started and punched the bathroom door which then Hit the shower curtain that proceeded to break off. Now taking my dog for a walk and writing this to vent.

 

also on the brighter side life has offered lately:

I recently was transferred from my original store to my local store. Lemme tell you.... LIGHT AND DAY.... my manager in the original store was doubtful of me (didnt even get me numbers for what i was SUPPOSED TO BE TAUGHT ON [so he didnt even try]) cus I wanted to be taught rather than take charge in my own tutoring (which in its own is confusing, how can you know what you need to be taught if you don't know what there is to be known?), to the point I could tell he thought I was incompetent to the point he'd walk away from me whenever someone called regarding my training.
Once I got transferred she (new manager) challenged me with a crazy schedule but ACTUALLY TAUGHT ME, and 3 days in I was training newbies and told me today she trusts me with counts and such (That go to corporate).
Amazing what you can do when you have people who believe & invest in you.
Oh and I love my coworkers. 10 hour days local are infinitely easier than 6 at the prior.
(Which ties into the prior post, give me the hours thus the money thus the progress thus everything I want, idgaf about anything else in the meantime lol)

 

@Jacob take care of yrself, I know we don't rly know each other but if you ever need to vent don't hesitate to ask

 

Going to bed early (for me) as I just don't want to think anymore. My mind is being a little shit.

 

I've had a long, nice, fulfilling day yet still I feel empty. Everything continues to feel empty without my dearest sweet and beautiful Kazuko. I miss her so much every single day and lately it's been getting worse again. I feel myself slipping into a deep and dark depression. I can't hold it all together right now. I feel so lonely without that connection to her in my life but she is forever gone and it kills me inside. I miss being able to see her beautiful smile, feel her comforting touch... not that I'd be able to at this time of year... but I always had that to look forward to... god, I feel awful...

 

I really do wonder how much happier I'd be if I embraced things instead of scoffing at them. Yeah I hate this town, but i think about how when i moved here instead of digging in my heels and being determined to hate it, if I'd have been open to it I'd probably have had a funner childhood. But instead I set myself up to hate it and everything about it because I resented moving here. Basically anything involving spirit or enthusiasm I scoff at and refuse to even try. It's stupid. I don't know if it's because I am super guarded and don't like showing enthusiasm or if it's because I'm depressed and can't really show enthusiasm. I think it's a mixture of both. I don't know but I feel like I'm keeping myself miserable.

 

my work has me working 6 days a week and closing 4 of those days and I'm just starting to get really tired and sad.

I mean I get this is the life of being an adult but like dang I miss talking to my friends because I sleeep a lot or not being able to hang out cause I work nights.

 

tbh I know it's just how it is because yay capitalism and America, but that should not have to be the life of an adult and I hate that it is. Like u should be able to hang out with your friends and live a life outside of work! It's awful that work drains and crushes people until it encompasses their whole life. I hope u catch a break soon! Sounds like you deserve one!

 

I think I mentioned this in another thread but after next week, I will have worked 18 out of the last 21 days.

I only have Sundays off so I try and do something like the zoo or batting cages or movies but thank you friend may Enrique bless you with quality music to hear.

 

I just stood up to my mom and she doesn't even know what to think/is shocked bc I usually just ignore her and don't say anything. It felt frikken GREAT. I love her but she picks on me and my dad and sister tell her to stop but she keeps on and on. I'm like riding on a high right now haha