Mental Health Thread • Page 90

I detest odd numbers...not to an ocd extent, but it's there.

Anybody else have any inexplicable and/or arbitrary preferences?

 

My doc gave me some of that bc I had been having trouble sleeping the two days before I saw him and I was manic af. Took one a couple of days ago and was fucked up all day (after sleeping for 14 hours).

My friend recently turned 21 and sort of had a drinking problem beforehand, but it is clearly getting worse. Like I don't think she's gone a night without getting like really really drunk in at least a month, if not all year++. Add some boy problems (read: scaring them away and when they bail she's being 'used') and financial struggle (No lie I think she has $3000 in tickets and is going to court for not paying them soon, in addition to spending all her money on drugs and booze) then you have a reciepe for disaster.

I feel like I'm painting a sympathethic picture, but she's also extrememly manipulative. She loves to project - about a week ago she called me at 3 in the morning to scream about how I don't have a job and I smoke all her weed and I'm like some sort of financial burden, despite seeing her maybe twice a week. I told her on the phone that I've tried to like smoke her up or w/e but she's been at work. so she said "oh, so you want me to quit my job so you can smoke me up??" which is another classic diversion tactic.

I care about her very deeply but that phone call in particular hurt me very deeply. I've seen her once since then, and she was pretty much just being really mean to me the whole time, making fun of anything I said. She's crashing and burning, and would much rather subtweet my friends and I then talk. I want to help but at this point I know that not only I can't, but also she'll push even harder if I try to pull.

The worst part is she knows that my best friend has done that sort of shit to me, with the maniuplating and the yelling and the intimidation. At one point she was a refuge from all that, and now I'm seeking refugre from her.

If there's any consolation - I've become pretty close with her best friend as a result and he moved to a cool spot and we've been hanging out a lot and having fun. I am honestly more angry than I am upset - I can completely move on without her, and if it's the move then that's what I'll do.

 

Alright, so I think this is the right place for this. I've recently been having the worst struggle with depression in my life so far. I often can't get motivated to get out of bed and often do things that actually drive me further into thus stagnant place that I've come to know.

Lately, first thing I do when I wake up is I start masturbating and it's become this bad habit, this addiction that I can't figure out how to get rid of. It's having a strain on my life. It's affecting my mental health, my daily life, and even putting a strain on my personal relationships.

This problem has led me to staying in bed longer and giving me less motivation to leave it in the first place. I've been going out a lot less and interacting with friends and family less due to this habit. I've always been a very sexual person but it's now becoming a rather large problem in my life.

I hope this was the appropriate thread to post this in. I've been struggling a lot and it doesn't feel like there is a light at the end of my tunnel, if that makes sense.

 

They say dope is like the most fucked up abusive relationship imaginable. They couldn't be more right. This shit brought me to my fucking knees and threatened to take awake my life and everything in it and I came crawling back. I'm pulling free and I'm running far far away. Day 3 of withdrawals. Feel so fucking shitty but it's nothing compared to the summer when I kicked because this time I only used for a month and never every day, I gave myself one or two days off every week. But I was slipping with that and about to turn back to every day, I could feel it. That's why I told my friend, I was scared. And he did the right thing and told my other best friend and went to my family. I'm so lucky to have these people surrounding me

 

I dealt with a similar situation when I was at the worst point in my life before I went to the doctor and was diagnosed. She kept convincing me that self medication was all I needed and she berated me mainly in private. She brought me to my lowest point and it took my sister basically kicking my ass to get me to break away from her. She graduated a semester earlier than me and in that semester I got my shit together and started taking care of myself. I blocked her phone numbers, which she kept changing, and all her social media. I guess she made a new facebook and couldn't find me (I don't have one) so she msged some of my friends and my sister and they all went in on her lol Just goes to show that people have a HUGE impact on your life whether you believe it or not. I wonder where I'd be if someone had not stepped in. She was/is an abusive person regardless of the drugs we were doing but I was too far gone into our "friendship" to see it.

We all lash out when we're hurting but there's a difference. Atleast you're seeing it for what it is.

 

Did my first workout in 2 and a half years. I've never felt as good in a long long time. Fuckin' endorphins, how to they work ?

 

CRUSHIN' IT! Yay!

 

I begged for one of these and my sister got it for me for Christmas and it is so fun and I am sore afterwards.

 

This this this so much. You're spot on in your entire post, and I wish you the best.

 

I have a thing about skittles and m&ms where if I chew more than one at the same time there has to be the same number chewed on each side. My sister has OCD and while she's gotten a lot better about things it's exhausting to watch and I feel so bad for her.

 

Re: exercising. People have told me that exercise is one of the best medicines for depression, but I am too sad most of the time to be motivated to go to the gym. And the fact that I'm NOT working out just makes me feel worse.

Also, therapists are expensive. My therapist recommended that I start going twice a week because things have been so bad lately -- which would be $400 a month. I just can't justify that type of money but desperately need to change something. Idk

 

I have this for basically everything, well, I even do it with my... teeths... which evolved in an unusually way... because... I play drums with them. It used to be worse when I was younger. I don't know if this could be a disorder or anything.

 

I've been going for runs outside and on the treadmill we have at my moms house. It's helping me lose weight, and it's definitely helped me feel better in general.

 

Money is one of your worst enemies when you're depressed.

 

When I'm depressed I lose weight simply because I just can't eat. Well it probably more along the lines of I choose not to because I just have no appetite at all. Sometimes I'll only eat one meal a day. This is happening to me now and it is a very uncomfortable feeling. I know I should be eating, but I feel like I can't.

 

Once I started running outside, I couldn't go back to a treadmill. It's such a difference imo. Vitamin D is always a good thing too since I tend to stay indoors when depression takes hold.

 

You know, it seems weird to say that, but I've never once thought about masturbation as part of my depression. Idk why, maybe because it may be still taboo, but I've never being able to talk about it or even about sex to my therapists... and I've been seeing them for the past 4 years. I had the same problems as you. I don't know if the situation is similar in some way. In my case, it especially happened during summer vacations, when I would be more lonely and wouldn't hang out with my friends often. Once I got bored, I would masturbate, then feel bad about it, and the next day would be exactly the same over and over again. I think what puts me out of this addiction was forcing myself to be constantly distracted. It's tiring, I don't know how I do it but at least this addiction is more or less gone for the moment. It went back a bit when I was with my ex, because we couldn't have sex together, which I understood (she had problems about it), but frustrated me in the end. I still masturbate, but only when I feel like I have an urge, and I when I know I have the time and that I don't have anything else to do.


edit : oh and I'm a man, sorry for this long post then, I don't know anything about sex addiction concerning women so I think my post was unhelpful

 

I've been thinking about this since I read it. Do you think it has anything to do with the focus that masturbation takes? Like it's a relief to just think about something like that that feels good and you don't think about being depressed for that time? I've never been a sexual person and since meds I have 0 sex drive but I've really never thought about this before.

 

Yes, that makes sense. Sex and masturbation have both been something that I have turned to that distract me from feeling depressed. It doesn't help that I'm pretty much constantly horny. The biggest problem for me is that it ends up taking over my time and I neglect other important things in my life.

It's been getting really bad. My social life has taken a hit because of it. I'm isolating myself more and more because sexual pleasure is taking precedence over all else. It's putting me into a negative head space.

When I'm out, often times it's all I can think about. The thoughts sort of creep in and I start looking for other women to be interested in me in that way. I can't help but try to force things in that direction and it makes me feel like all terrible person for seeking it out like that without caring for anyone but my own self.

While I am always attentive to their needs and make sure not to actually force anything, I still feel im not doing things in a good and right way. I'm drowning myself in this sort of thing and little else is important for me when I get this way.

As I've said, I'm neglecting so many aspects of my life because of it. My depression and addiction are feeding into each other. I can see the issue but I haven't been able to figure out how to fix it. I've recently started therapy and I hope that can help me. I've tried a couple times before but never did feel I could be as open as I needed to be for it to have been helpful.

 

Not a good night overall. Not much more to say.

 

I feel this. I haven't good sleep in a while and I'm feeling like a god damn zombie.

 

I've started going to sleep earlier and in turn waking up earlier, it feels pretty good. Still don't know what kind of quality sleep I'm getting, paranoid that I have sleep apnea or some shit.

 

for the past few months i haven't gotten more than five hours of sleep each weekday night. it's caused by mental health but it's messing with it even more. the mornings are getting more and more stressful, not only because i have work in the morning. i just wish my mind/body would allow me to sleep.