(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 372

yungcityslicka agrees

 

Glad trump supporter guy that wanted to get a beer with me has a gf now. Now I don't have to make up an excuse to decline the offer.

 

I hope he's got a good dental hygienist.

 

Prob has to pay an extra fee.

 

My only talent is to remember a bunch of useless facts
And I guess I'm good at excel, I'm a really exciting person

 

When I got with my girl for the first time 6 years ago (tomorrow will be our 6 year) she said she was into me cus: "No one ever been as sincere & honest as you for better or worse, has as big a music taste as you, and you're not a hypebeast." - We met in the height of the Tyler, the Creator/OFWGKTA explosion (Frank Ocean became like "our relationship artist" cus Nostalgia, Ultra came out right after we got together & "Dust" became "our song') so Hypebeasts must've been fresh in her mind lmao.

Being a music nerd with no sense of fashion basically got me my future wife lol.

 

Time is shooting by, I remember the HUGE HYPE behind Cudi coming out, and when people were losing their shit for Wiz's Kush & Orange Juice like it was yesterday..

Music and my relationship are tied together - met my girl through another forum originally and we linked up and it worked.... first time I ever noticed her was when Rick Ross' Teflon Don leak crashed the site so ppl were in a tiny chat and she popped up on cam and while every dude acted like typical "HOLY SHIT GIRL ON THE INTERNET!!!1!1!11!(imavirgin)!!!1!11!" in my head I was like "Damn....who's she?" (down to her sense of humor and busting out a Chris Jericho action figure so I knew she was down with wrestling lmao..) something in me knew that was about to be my girl lol.

 

Starting to think I just prefer being alone most of the time. Whenever I have dates come over after a while I just want them to leave so I can do my own thing. Play videogames, watch Netflix without worrying if they'll like it, not have conversation

Or maybe I just haven't found the right person

 

one of my biggest fears about entering the dating game would be the fact that I like to spend a lot of time alone and I'd be worried I'd hurt their feelings or it would make them mad

 

Maybe ur just an introvert tbh. Even if I enjoy the company of ppl I'm with and am having a great time, by the end of it I just wanna retreat and be alone. It's very depressing and draining to be social with others for extended periods of time imo. I don't like when ppl infringe upon my winding down alone time tbh

 

I deal with the same thing, I need my dolo time and my music time. Outside that I don't put much before my girl/relationship... Usually doing things with my girl is funner than whatever I have planned anyway lmao - BUT I need that dolo down time to just "breathe out" cus iunno, I don't feel like I get to "breathe in" when I'm around people all the time.

 

That's definitely the case. Although when I was with my ex we could occupy the same space without me being bored or tired of her being there

Maybe it just takes time to get to that place, or maybe I've gotten worse

 

In my limited life experience lol it def takes some time to get to that place. I feel at first you feel that pressure to be interesting and charming and "on" which is exhausting and then as time goes on you can get to that place where ur just comfortable sitting in silence together or being together but doing separate things.

Or maybe we're just 4ever alone weirdos it's a real toss up there

 

Ive had ex's I liked a lot that I found I couldn't be around more than for a few hours at a time/day or two cus it would be overwhelming cus at a certain point when you're around someone you start to notice things they do that annoy you. Even if it's totally small stupid bullshit feels like torture when I'm just over being around people. Even with family & friends there's usually a time I need to step away and breathe, put my headphones in for a bit. To some I'm sure they think it a lil rude but I just need the air literally and metaphorically.

It definitely has something to do with the "right person," though if you ask me. I'm a big introvert and homebody - not big on going out and shit. My fiancee is the only one I can seem to find a balance with of on time and off time, and (outside when she's in her feels) she is good with me and mine for her. Really only thing she does that annoys me is when she gets to the point where she's irrationally upset and loses near all concept of rational emotion in the moment lmao.

It did take time to get her to realize and understand everything that goes into how I am the way I am, why I need what I do (and of course vice versa for me with her). We been together 6 years (tomorrow) and it was only last year when everything finally seemed to click for her where she flat out told me she gets it all now and basically have supplied the "action behind the words" of the same. Be it on the need for solo time or more glaring things like mental health & family shit.

 

This has def become one of my conditions of dating and I think a lot of ppl take it personally when it's not. It has absolutely nothing to do with people annoying me or me not liking their company specifically. Even when I'm with family I adore and hardly ever see and am very excited to be with, there just comes a point where I suddenly start feeling depressed and withdrawn and want to go be alone. It takes a lot of my mental energy to be social and if I don't get that time to be alone and breathe I get even more depressed.

 

This is basically me at every family gathering. I went outside and sat on the porch in the cold at Thanksgiving cus I was just so over it and they thought they had pissed me off or something lol. Nope, just hit that wall you described exactly.

 

Being able to be comfortable and not say anything at the same time is an important thing.

 

Dating can be though. The last guy I was getting to know would get worried if I didn't text him and think he did something wrong (a few times yeah he said something that really upset me when I was already upset). It wouldn't matter if I was super busy at work, if I didn't text him it was an issue. I even told him that it was super busy (nothing he'd understand even tho he thought so) and I can't stop to look at my phone or take 15 min to sit down and text. He wasn't a very understanding person when it came to work. When I look back I shouldn't of stopped when I saw a little red flag but I ignored it. Wasn't the person for me in so many ways and I wasted a lot of time

 

Ugh I dated someone like that once. My old job had tons of cameras and we could not bring our phones out on the floor but he'd get mad when I didn't text at work. Or once I told him in advance that my phone wasn't working and he still got in his feelings I didn't text or call. I do not get ppl like that. I know a woman like this and she just seems really possessive and insecure.

 

I don't think we have cameras in our building but its policy. Like I can't run to the break room or bathroom and text because he wants me to. He very well knew I was at work and it gets crazy busy and I'm doing everything so I literally have no time to sit down or even pee. But I guess he didn't care. I wouldn't doubt that this guy is an insecure person.

 

I'm overwhelmed at the thought of trying to meet someone/start dating again.

 

In the same exact boat, can't even see the point in putting myself out there again. I was dating the same girl from when I was 15, now I'm 23 and the dating scene is completely foreign to me.

3 weeks into being single is Tinder a good idea? hahaha

 

I have a work cell, personal cell, and an extension in my department. This dude WOULD NOT call me on any phone except my work extension. It wouldn't have been so bad if he listened to the directions and called directly to my extension. He kept waiting and going to the operator and then they would send the call to me. I don't like taking personal calls at work period and he called me to the point that people were talking about me. He just wanted to chit chat and I'm like are you serious rn? It finally stopped thank god.

 

I'd say embrace being single my man. Like truly single and alone. Being in a relationship for that long, you've probably lost some sense of identity and self. I've been a serial monogamist since I was 19, I'm 25 now, and I'm finally getting in touch with myself and honestly, it feels really good. Sure, I miss cuddles and sex and I would rather have my last relationship not fail, but it did, and now, 5 months after the breakup, im finally starting to really enjoy being single. The way I see it, women will always be around, and I want to be my best self when I meet my next love interest, and that's gonna take time and hard work

 

I hear people say that stuff all the time but for the life of me I still don't know what that means haha.