Mental Health Thread • Page 72

you are loved, you are wanted, and you are worthy.

 

You are so incredibly important to everyone in your life. We are all so often too far in the trees to see the forest, so to speak. It's easy to forget or not see the simple, tiny ways that we impact the people around us, but their lives -- and thus, yours as well -- would be different without you, and not for the better. You're strong, important, worthy of living and breathing and being happy. And one day, you'll stumble into some way of surpassing all the bad things that try to drag you down and it'll be a glorious, wonderful day. Continue on with this strength you found to talk yourself out of the bad decision in November; that takes major guts and shows a wonderful fight to survive. You're impressive.

 

I almost crashed my car today because of some idiot. I was on the on ramp to the interstate and this pickup truck comes from the grass area and tries to "merge" on nearly colliding with the truck in front of me, they swerve and slam in their breaks, and I swerve and slam on mine. I was almost certain I was going to hit them or the gard rail. All this and it was down pouring badly. I nearly go into an anxiety attack it seems, I start shaking and have difficulty concentrating. I almost had to pull to the side of the road but the storm was bad and I needed to get to work. I'm happy my car is okay. If I would have crashed I would be crying nonstop and not even gone to work.

 

Great post, Mike,

 

I was in a pretty bad spiral of doom over the weekend, to the point of suicide popping in my head (I am okay now and there's only been one time ever where I've had a plan of action and stuff. You guys know about it). I told my therapist yesterday and she thinks I need to get my meds upped, because I guess most people's moods don't shift so severely if they're being medicated properly? Idk it's been 6 years on the same dosage, and when I take everything regularly I feel decent. When it comes to a letter of support for my insurance (for an unrelated issue, but one of my biggest sources of stress and anxiety) she tells me she's the lowest on the chain, but she's an expert on this?

 

You have to get insurance approval to get your meds changed? Wut?

Also *hug*

 

Let me reword that - to help get my insurance pay for surgery, the more letters of support I can get that say "yeah he really does need this," the better off I am in hopes I can get it all paid for. She's been weird about it from the start, really reluctant to write one. But this stuff with my medication, she seemed convinced that's the problem, that I need more meds or something, better make some calls and get that checked out blah blah. I don't know. I really don't want/need to pay another person for things right now. My NP writes me refills and that's really convenient, heh.

 

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that makes way more sense. I was confused, but now I'm totally on board. Totally different surgery, but my insurance was a bunch of douchebags about approving mine. They denied it three times before approving. I didn't have to do much of anything to get it approved (the person from the doctor's office did it), but it was SO stressful.

Hopefully you don't have a huge hassle - But, insurance companies are dicks, so who knows.

 

It looks like my Adderall has been making me insanely irritable once worn off at the end of the day, and then seems to exacerbate my ruminating, self-defeating thoughts (on top of dehydrsting me to no end, even with 64-88 ounces of Gatorade per day).

I really wanna stay away from stimulants now, so my doc prescribed me Clonidine for ADHD and anxiety, but so far it doesn't seem to help my distractions too much, although it seems to calm me. Blah. I hate everything about Adderall, but the attention it gives me is so helpful- I can't even listen to a full sentence in a room with multiple people talking >_>.

Hoping theres a huge difference in my mood, at least.

 

So really quick, I post on an infidelity subreddit, and the other day a guy found out his wife of 15 years (together since they were15ish) had cheated on him repeatedly for the last 7 years. Last night he made a new thread that heavily implied he was going to either shoot himself and/or his wife and/or the other man.

I messaged him a little, in fact he sent me his phone number, but he didn't text back and now I am like scouring national news from his area code...

What the hell is a person supposed to do there? I also messaged the mods of r/suicidewatch but I have a bad feeling.

 

That's awful, proud you were so viligant

 

I just happened across his post. It was pretty new and no one else had replied yet. His last post was 15 hours ago. I'm still pretty worried for this dude.

 

Jesus. I've come across those before... It's haunting when you never see a response again.

Good vibes and hopeful thoughts going his way.

 

Oooh ooh. You could call the police in his area and give them his phone number, say he posted on Reddit about what he was going to do and see if they can do a wellness check.

 

I just might do this. It's such a weird feeling - here is this complete stranger on the edge and all I can do is watch and hope for the best.

edit: I contacted a mod from suicidewatch again, and they said that the cops can do wellness checks based on just a number, but also based on the risk assessment they did on this guy's posts, he was probably not going to follow through with anything/was not an immediate risk. Using "probably" because you can never be 100% certain, but yeah, that made me feel a little bit better.

 

Three cheers for not feeling anxious in public. It doesn't happen often.

 

She fights for us even in death.

 

my favorite My Chemical Romance album

 

Last few days been high and low to the greatest extent. Went from cold showers to detox my mind to not do anything reckless to laying in my bed next to my girl knowing this is all I need.
I'm slowly realizing there's aspects of me I have little fear of but know I should and I know it's a race against time cus it's only gotten worse these last few years. I'm trying, it's hard; at times unbearable, other times easy as can be.
Frustrating and exhausting, I want better but sometimes I wonder if I can allow myself to have that without my mind finding some sort of flaw and thus ruining it. Another part of me doesn't want to care.
And here I am... just trying to operate and situate so these "parts" die off. Rock meet hard place.

 

strangled by her bra, buried with prozac

I seriously wanted to laugh and cry a little when I saw that earlier. It's perfect.

 

Was a couple hundred short on rent this month and the landlord said I have 24 hours to get out. Basically told me he doesn't care about the shit I've been dealing with and hopes I die on the street or kill myself because....well I don't know. Guess he was having a bad day and took it out on me. I don't want to leave but I'm running out of options and don't think I can make it.

 

Not sure where you live, but I don't think that you can legally be evicted in 24 hours.

 

I'm having one of those blah empty feeling days. Idk if it's my quarter life crisis or what. I just laid in bed all day doing nothing. Hoping it's just a bad day. I was so hyped for the weekend and now I just wanna go back to work?? What kind of alternate universe??

 

Correct. I would look up the laws about eviction in your state. They can't just say "you have 24 hours to GTFO". Even in evictions, the person being evicted has rights.