Mental Health Thread • Page 71

I've always found New Years to be incredibly depressing. I'm not sure if it's just that I've never had a good enough year that I can look back on fondly or what. I cried last New Year's Eve at midnight in the bathroom at a party instead of kissing anyone or champagne toasting. I'm just staying in my pajamas in bed this New Years but I doubt that helps with the whole depressing thing.

 

The first NYE I spent by myself was kind of depressing, but it's just another day. I mean, it's a nice arbitrary starting point for changing up your habits, but really, it's just another day.

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Safe to say that 2016 was one of the worst years of my life, with an understatement of how badly I dealt with realizing/accepting I'm transgender. I spent about 6 months drunk nonstop, and in late spring/early summer, I strung up a belt in my closet and had my head in the loop before something made me change my mind. I chose to live, even if it took a few more months afterward to really get living. I got a therapist in July. I finally quit drinking on August 30. I went on hormones in October.

The last four months of this year have been way more good than bad, and I'm starting to see the man in the mirror. Yesterday I got my T dosage upped and the mental boost from that has been amazing. For the first time in years, maybe more than a decade, I know what I want and what I have to do to achieve it....and I'm completely willing to do it.

 

Decided to try to finish school this coming semester. Registered for the last two credits I need for my degree today, hopefully I actually pass them both this time! I also decided to do the polar bear dip tomorrow as a signal to the universe that I mean business this year.
Hope everyone has a fun and safe new year's eve, wishing everyone lots of love and happiness in 2017

 

Same to you, but you crazy with that cold water stuff :D

 

lol I'm so nervous. I had to tell my friend today to not let me try to bail tomorrow cause I know I will. She might have to push me in.

 

Your testicular fortitude is already greater than mine. At the very least you'll have a great story to tell in the future!

 

I'm glad you're still around friend

 

Thank you

 

Tonight I think I'm gonna set the tone for my life and eat candy, drink sparkling cider, and maybe Thai food all alone in my room while watching novelas. The same way I'll die probably lol. Sometimes I wish I wasn't anti social and did things but like I've been around ppl all day and wish I was home alone instead so I know deep down I'll always be a recluse.

 

Happy New Year to all the people in this thread, always nice having ears/people who understand and I wish you all the best of both mental health and overall health in 2017.

 

I feel guilty that my sis and nephew and brother in law are only in town for a few days and I didn't see them today. Part of it is that my nephew spent the night at his grandma's house out of town and I figured they'd be visiting with her since it's the only time they're gonna see that family while they're here.

Buuuut I could've just text her and asked when she'd be back. but I feel weird and guilty that everyone is having a blast playing with him and I have no motivation. Part of it is I'm still not well and am on meds that make me drowsy so I just want to sleep and be lazy, but I think part of it is also depression and me having zero motivation to be active and I never have enthusiasm or energy for anything. I always thought it was just my personality but lately I've been thinking it's my depression. I also get weird and insecure when I hang around people for long periods of time, like I'm annoying them or something so I withdraw and isolate because I convince myself that people are only just tolerating me. meh.

 

I'm just really bitter that everyone seems to be capable of self-improvement but me

 

This may not be the right thread for this (and I'm sorry if it isn't), but it's killing me and I'm not sure where/who to turn to. Does anyone have experience cutting ties with a close friend after learning that they may be an abuser?

edit: I am so angry and upset right now. There isn't a handbook for this sort of thing.

 

The past two months have made me very miserable for so many reasons. I don't know who to trust or who to feel comfortable talking to anymore. People have really hurt or disappointed me.

 

I have advice but if you aren't currently apathetic about 99.9% of your life then I can't help considering my advice is about as deep as a Nike ad.

 

No experience, thankfully, but I do hope the person being abused is in a safer space at the moment. It might be as simple as not returning texts and calls, unless you want that person to know why you don't want to be near them anymore.

 

They are, and we're going to be spending a lot of time together this week bc they don't want to be alone and would like to try and relax.

And yeah, that's kind of my issue at the moment. It's not about dropping the person; I have zero issues doing that. I just don't know whether or not it's better to confront them or just let them go. The person who went through it doesn't feel comfortable confronting them so she was kind of hoping I would, but I'm not really sure I'm ready for that either. I was really, really close with this person, so I do feel like it'll come up in the future, but maybe it's fair of me to take a few days to process everything.

 

I have experience with this. I hate confrontation but I called them out because some people honestly do not think they're wrong and some don't even realize how abusive and detrimental their actions are. I took it as if I just drop them this person isn't going to stop and take a look at their behavior and then they may just move on to the next person and do it again. If you're not ready or don't want to then you don't have to. I feel you can't have any kind of breakthrough with an abuser if you're not ready to lay the proverbial smackdown on them lol I'm glad she trusts you enough to confide and that might not seem like a lot to you but it really is. Just my experience. I hope things turn out well.

 

This was really helpful and made me feel a little better about myself. Thank you

 

today is not so bad. not much turmoil. not much noise from others. enough alone time.

hope everyone else is breathing easily today.

 

mood has been going from extreme highs to extreme lows a lot lately. Last couple of days have been hard

 

ive embraced 2017 as my make or break year and i want to be everything i need to be while understanding some are processes others can be more immediate. im a lil nervous but i know all i really need is to get it all in line. it seems so easy from the sense of "Well just do it." but ive been so concerned with all the hurdles i know incoming - i am trying to breathe as freely as possible cus i want the best honestly but i'm still convincing myself that's even in the cards for me.

 

I'm lucky to be alive right now. I had a few unfortunate things happen this year and didn't handle them well at all. Distracted myself all summer by working to the point of exhaustion and nearly died from not eating and barely sleeping for a week. My body eventually shut down and I would repeat the process every other week for the entire summer. I kept doing this because I didn't want to be alive anymore and I was waiting for my time to run out.

My girlfriend and my best friend were the only things that kept me around. They did pretty much everything in their power to keep me here and I owe it to them to stay here. It's not enough sometimes because my mind is just so out of whack right now. I tried to kill myself in November but talked myself out of it before doing it. I had never gotten that close to actually doing it before and it scared me. I made a promise to them that I wouldn't leave but it's hard to remember sometimes since my best friend moved away and my girlfriend lives halfway across the country. This was right before I came to visit/live with her for a month and I doubt I would have survived the year if I didn't do that.

I'm moving in with her soon but we're still working out the details and my mental state hasn't gotten much better since I got home. I'm just so messed up right now and I'm afraid of reverting to how I was a couple months ago where I thought the next day would be my last.

 

Keep your thoughts with me, lest I assault douche in law.