(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 318

If I can pay my bills, I'll be good

 

I read this as "balls" the first time around.

 

That usually happens too

 

Being waken up to help who ya love fall asleep is always fun lol. Ways you know you're dedicated for 400$, Alex.

 

Adoption is so difficult it's annoying. They don't care about throwing these kids into foster homes but in order for you to adopt an orphan you have to have a zillion dollars in the bank. That's fucked.

Re: marriage and kids

 

I agree! I looked into it a year ago and the requirements are ridiculous

 

Anyway everything is wonderful and I am so happy

 

My Aunt & Uncle (RIP) went through hell to try and have a baby; eventually they decided to adopt. The process was such hell and ultimately when they got a baby my uncle had to fly them to AZ (from NY) and leave my Aunt there for a bit over a month to go through the process of the baby they got; my lil cousin, detoxing cus he was born addicted to Morphine.

Adoption is a hell of a crazy process, my lil cousin is 100% okay and normal and he's honestly one of my favorite people. But watching them go through that process made me realize the exact same sentiments you expressed here.

 

I know a couple who went through the adoption process and it took them 4 years to get their baby. That's absurd.

 

This is nice to hear and I hope you weren't just replaced with body snatchers

 

"Adoption is always an option."

 

I want to adopt partially because I selfishly want to start with like a 4 year old who talks and doesn't wear diapers

 

It's crazy how convoluted and drawn out and expensive the system is. My brother and his wife have been trying to have kids since they got married like three years ago. In the meantime, they fostered some of the children that came into the country illegally while they located the child's relatives that were in the country or out of the county. They fostered a couple of of them (not at the same time) but they got really attached to the last one but she had massive mental illnesses and issues that they couldn't handle on their own. Then they found the girls real mother in New York so she went there and it seemed to drain my brother and his wife so much that they haven't fostered a kid in like 18 months -- though part of that is money; feeding, clothing, caring for another person is quite the added cost for them at the moment.

 

As for me, even if I wanted kids, I know that I way, way too selfish for them. My girlfriend had a couple of cats when we got together and they're awesome, but I don't even want another pet after these cats. That's a major point of contention and it's not a deal breaker for me, so we'll probably get an animal of some sort. But if I'm too selfish to want and enjoy a cat -- the only domestic animal that seemingly doesn't give a shit about you -- then I'm in no way able to care or love for a child properly.

 

Oh no that's awful. I know a foster mom who is a mess everytime she has a kid taken away whether it be adoption or finding their parents. I think the most upsetting thing to me is that the hospital I work at gets atleast 5 abandoned kids a year. Just let these people with hardships take them. There are plenty of willing families.

 

I wonder if this depends on the circumstances or area. I know some adults who grew up in foster care and had bad experiences but it seems more difficult to become a foster parent now, at least here. my friend has been trying to be one since I've known her for 1.5 years and had to take classes and have her home inspected and she still hasn't gotten a child. I'd totally be a foster mom but I don't have enough rooms in my house to qualify.

 

NYC is a good place to say I love you for the first time

 

i only want two kids max. as my parents always say (they have 4), you run into problems when they start to outnumber you.

 

Idk if I want kids. There's documentation that states if my sister and brother in law were to die I'd get my nephew, and I would like to foster. but idk i love spending my money on me and doing fun things. my sis says when you have a kid you want to spend all your money on them but rn i'm enjoying spending it on things I couldn't if I had a kid. I have absolutely no desire to give birth tho. maybe I'll change my mind someday but it seems like the worst and it freaks me out just thinking about it

 

My parents are always like "haha Jonathan you better not have kids until your 30's because you can't handle them"

and I'm like "I have basically had a non existent love life for over 4 years so I'm pretty sure nothing will change anytime soon."

 

plus

 

I was always a married by 30 person but here I am 30 w/o a boyfriend.

 

My thoughts on getting married:

 

I already have a seven year old. I'll probably have one or two more but it will be several years from now so I have time to build a relationship and get my shit together in general. There will be a huge age gap between them and my daughter but oh well she already has two half brothers on her mom's side

 

It's hard to tell how much wanting to get married and have kids is just society saying that's what people do and me being fine don't think I'm weird I'll do it