General Forum Chat Thread (I) [ARCHIVED] • Page 536

I saw tons of people mean well and still say harmful things on AP. Often times their argument was that they didn't mean it that way, and they were told (rightfully) that their intent wasn't the point, the effect their words had was. Would think that should be applied here as well with how Phaynes feels about the tweets.

 

Why do you have to make a statement?

Why is it bad for addicts hurt by the statement to say so publicly and not the other way around?

 

I'm probably the least obnoxious one you'll meet. I'm a Bills fan so I know the other side of it.

 

You're not wrong.

 

Since I was 18, I dated men who had addictions to drinking and drugs. I also dated someone who had serious mental issues I wasn't aware of until he stopped taking his meds and had a manic episode. Have you ever had to section someone? I did. that was the hardest thing I've ever done.

I have friends who are addicts, have wanted to hurt themselves or others. A few of them were the kind of addicts that did blame everyone else for their problems but even then, I want to be there for that person. Maybe I have too big of a heart for my own good. I can't change that about me.

My mother will be the first asshole to say "AA is for quiters" or "You being on zoloft is a cop out" yeah thanks mom. She smokes pot so there was have it.

I understand addiction first hand by loving someone who is an addict. Hurts like hell, but I would rather them be here than dead. My best friend just lost the love of her life to heroin.

This is a serious thing here and for someone to poke fun of that or taunt someone who had a trigger....that is not ok.

And I'm sorry if this is all over the place but I finally got a chance to just spew out my feelings and share with you all how upset I am that 2 very good friends of ours have been hurt.

 

It seems very telling to me that addicts, outside of the specific situation Anna referenced, and their friends are the ones offended. And non-addicts, afaik, are the ones siding with her. Again - empathy - but it's mostly fallen on deaf ears

 

I mean if there was someone who is an abuser and a known abuser and they deflect any criticism for their actions by bringing up their addiction. Is there a way of going about that?

And if there is a systemic pattern of abuse by people who deflect criticism from their actions in such a way, is there a proper way to address such a serious and complicated issue, one that does not perpetuate negative attitudes towards those that suffer from addiction.

 

When I used to post on AP, I felt bullied sometimes as a female because people replied with no regard for how the other person may interpret what they meant. Because of that, I had stopped posting as often as I did in the past, and towards the end of AP, I stopped posting in most threads, period. I was relieved to have a new site and community here on chorus.fm, and I felt like the people that joined post-AP were those that were interested in maintaining friendships and conversations that uphold a sense of community, supporting each other mentally. I'm sad to see that people don't feel the same way that I do, and it's sad that the conflicting views shown in this thread today may never have a resolution. I felt better after stopping posting on AP for a while, so that may be something that some people will have to do. But I want to say that most of us here are here to receive and to aid support, so I look forward to trying to maintain a community that keeps up a support system, and does not introduce blame or produce abuse towards other people.

 

This is something I've been thinking about as well. I think it comes back to what someone said a few pages back, or maybe in another thread, where there's an intersection there that is diametrically opposed - no perfect space where all feelings come out unscathed. Because sometimes freedom for someone that has suffered abuse at the hands of someone else is to talk about it. And, I don't think discussing an abusive addiction and it's impact on you is the same as condemning all addicts as abusive, but the wording of such statement is going to be very difficult at best. I believe 140 characters will never allow for the nuance needed. I like Twitter less and less as time goes on.

 

How is an abuser different from an abuser that suffers from addiction? It's still abuse. Why drag addiction into it? Especially since little of what Jake said last weekend can be construed as abuse even if you're trying to find it there.

 

I would assume that that should be dealt with on an individual, person by person basis, right? Like there's no need to make a grand statement about "addicts", it would be a personal interaction/cutting ties with a specific person.

 

I'm rambling at this point. I just wish that this wouldn't be the attitude of many here. What was said was extremely painful and I'm not wrong to be hurt by it even if it was intended to a specific case, which seemed to be grasping at straws itself. Just a little empathy would go a long way.

 

when i first started posting i got bullied by williek and all the ap ladies came to my defense

 

Sup boo

 

I'd rather talk about my demons in the addictions thread but I understand Anna's viewpoint and I'm not offended. I have been a really shitty person in my life and not a second of my alcoholic drinking/self-medicating my mental illness excuses it. Find me in the addictions thread if you wish to talk further about this with me.

 

Um, totally off subject but where and how can i get those fun emojis?

 

Smilies • forum.chorus.fm

 

aaahhhh

 

Pat - no matter what sarcastic or teasing things I may have said on twitter or other platforms, I want you to know that you (and anyone else who is hurting in this community) has my full support and empathy. You are a household name in Matt's condo and we truly care about you as a human being

 

You're welcome for that...?

 

This whole thing is a huge mess, but I think the important thing is that those who are suffering from addiction get support and it sucks that isn't happening here. The health of our friends and fellow members should take priority over any issues you may have had with them in the past.

 

I've been trying to find the point at which Jake claimed his problems placed him above reproach for whatever abuse or antagonism he may have directed at people on the site. I can't find it personally, so I would appreciate it if someone who has made the claim that he did could point me in the right direction. I think everyone is in agreement that addiction is not a "get out of jail free card," but I would also like to see where it was employed as such.

 

Heh, some are hidden, some can be found by going to the "more options" posting page and then there's some tabs with extra ones.

 

I'm just now realizing your avatar clover is Chorus Blue colored. nice touch.