Mental Health Thread • Page 470

I’ll take one! I’ll DM you

 

Would love one too! DM'ing.

 

So very, very burnt out right now. And sadly tomorrow doesnt let up.

 

I wish this country and our health and insurance industries didn't want my family and I to suffer

 

It’s hard to come to terms with the fact corporations get to dictate which medicine I take, ESPECIALLY when they kick me off one that’s working for me in order to save a few bucks. Capitalism only cares about bottom dollar and legitimately just wants “you” to die. It’s such a stark contrast between who I am and my beliefs, plus having to deal with it personally as well, that it really depresses me.

 

Just wanna spread some small positivity in that I’ve gotten really good/lucky lately at putting drinks in the freezer(soda, beer etc) and remembering to get them.

 

Being unemployed has completely eroded my sense of self. Being stressed all the time has heightened my emotions and physical symptoms so I'm always shaky and having mood swings, and I don't really know what I "really" feel and what's being caused by all that. Applying to jobs throws me for a loop because as more time has passed, I feel less and less like I know how to do anything, even if I knew how to do it before. I've become so withdrawn that I barely speak to some of my best friends anymore. What can I even do? What am I even like anymore? What do I have left?

 

TW: SA mention, joke/threat

I don't know where else to post this, and I may just be sensitive right now. Horror Fest is this week and one of our vendors made a joke about raping me to death "in a bad way" because of what I was wearing and I literally can't stop thinking about it. I'm not a survivor or anything. I'm not white knighting. I know it was just a poor taste joke that, as a man, I should be able to shake off. But it made me feel fucking weird and gross and worse the longer the night goes on, and I think I should say something because 1) what if he said something like that to an attendee and 2) it's simply not the kind of vendor I want representing us.

 

I should disclaim that by saying literally everyone else there is so, so nice and welcoming, we literally never get people like this. They're a first time vendor and clearly lack self-awareness about where they are and who they're talking to.

 

as a rape survivor that is fucking gross wtf and man maybe that spoiler tag also needs a trigger warning.

either way I am still super sorry that happened to you because that is a very disturbing thing to say to anybody.

 

Thank you, and sorry, wasn't sure the proper ways to TW a spoiler tag but I'll try to fix it now

 

Today was a very hard day. My grandma didn’t want a funeral. She wanted to be cremated but to have her urn buried next to my grandpa so we all went to the cemetery and had just a little ceremony. It was not easy at all. I feel like the past few weeks I’ve just been numb and it didn’t feel real so seeing my dad put her urn in the grave was like wow, she’s really gone. I just miss her so much. I’ve also always kind of felt like a bit of an outsider in the family where I know everyone loves me but I’ve been treated differently so I’ve been really in my feelings lately. It’s just been a lot and I don’t feel like I can talk about a lot of things with anyone so it’s been a very lonely couple of weeks. But then every time I’m feeling down I have my nephews who truly continue to be my reason for living every day. When we were all leaving my oldest nephew comes up to me and gives me the biggest hug. He says “you know I have a car now so you ever need anything, I’m there. I alway will be.” Like what 17-year-old says that??? He is the absolute sweetest kid. And I worry so much about my middle nephew bc he keeps everything inside but we had a real good heart to heart and I’m so glad he feels safe to talk to me about stuff. So it was just a very emotional day and I feel very overwhelmed. Just trying to take it a day at a time but it’s really hard.

 

Update, I decided to talk to leadership about this and literally moments after the conversation started, we got word that this vendor called our programming director a "stupid fucking c*nt." It made her cry (obviously). We kicked them out and they made a big, shitty scene, even cursing out the volunteers that were helping them pack up. I don't anger easily, but i was seeing red for a few hours. I'm glad I didn't let it ruin the Fest as a whole for me. fuck the trundle manor in pittsburgh

 

I missed my uncle's funeral yesterday and felt bad afterwards and then I ended up getting a migraine and subsequently didn't exercise or eat great or even take my makeup off or brush my teeth before bed so then I woke up thankfully without a migraine but feeling gross. I think it was a combo of stress and lack of sleep earlier in the week that added up. Ugh

 

I’m so fucking tired of feeling empty most of the time. I want to enjoy the things I used to again.

 

Almost one year ago to this day, I ended up with an ear infection that led to a punctured left eardrum, something I've had a few times in my childhood but not in close to 20 years so it took me by surprise at the time. I was told by a specialist it could take a full year to heal. Over that timeframe, I slowly felt it was getting better on its own, until I got sick two weeks ago. Right now my left hearing feels just like it did in the first few days after the prior infection (sounds like I'm underwater, and have tinnitus ramped up), which makes me feel... defeated.

Considering ear issues run in my family (my mom wears hearing aids and one of her brothers lost a good chunk of his hearing from recurring, similar infections), I'm afraid of having one of those outcomes as well. Music is my main passion but I don't find making it enjoyable because this issue is on my mind all the time. I'm seeing my ENT specialist next week and crossing fingers something can be done about this.

 

My wife desperately needs to get back on meds but can't because she's pregnant and most of what's allowed makes her unbearably tired. She came home yesterday having a panic attack about work (I told her to quit if she needs to) and finances (ours are fine) being concerned her constant panic attacks will hurt the baby, and then started to hit things around the house, which crossed a boundary for me. I truly am at a loss for what to do anymore. I texted her mom, which she would hate if she knew, but I simply cannot take care of her anymore if she's not going to take care of herself. I'll do anything to see her happy, I'm not giving up, but I think I need to start drawing some firm lines because she's not taking suggestions from me or her therapist and every day that she doesn't take care of herself, she pulls my mental health down along with. hers. Bar none the hardest thing we've ever gone through.

 

I posted a little over a month ago about my tinnitus spiking and it sent me into a panic mode where I thought it would never get better.

it turns out that it was either an infection or swimmers ear. It did regress back into my old fashioned manageable level of tinnitus.

I hope the best for you!

 

my freshly pregnant fiancée returned to work after 3 months of sick leave due to burnout/fatigue and her boss started bullying her immediately. so yeah Aaron you're not alone in this. She got written off sick for essentially the rest of her pregnancy immediately thankfully but yeah I thought I was going to faint from the pure unadulterated rage.

And her fucking company is female led and constantly claims they're feminists etc.
fucking clowns. I'm livid.

 

Yeah, I worked for a female led non-profit that didn’t offer parental leave. Corporate culture doesn’t care about identity!

 

brother she had a one on one with the CEO today and she told her that her position never really existed like what the fuck is going on in the minds of these people. she came home crying and even lying down had a heart rate of over 100.

we're old (40), this is our first child, I was (am) worried sick.

 

I'll post through it I guess

 

Sorry mesc

 

Feeling very low and shitty this long weekend. Sigh.