2 Dating 2 Relationships Thread II: The Squeakquel NSFW • Page 211

Dating fucking sucks.

 

Yo yo yo

Dating still sucks

A lot of stuff tends to just feel one sided

 

Found out someone I had been talking to on an app for several days was using my (and others’) profile as content for their twitch channel. That feels not great.

 

That’s fucked up

 

That's super fucked. Get them banned from Twitch and the dating app

 

How did you even find out?

 

She told me. We made plans to get brunch, she said “oh by the way I’ve been going through my matches for my Twitch channel”, I asked her for more context on how they were used and told her I was uncomfortable with that. Then she unmatched.

 

That's awful. I'm so sorry.

 

It’s a red flag, so I’m glad this came out now and I didn’t end up dating her. I’m just not stoked about (presumably) being made fun of by strangers on the internet.

 

Find her Twitch and report it

 

I just feel so defeated. Left a relationship because I was being treated poorly, found myself in a situationship where she refused to commit so I walked away before it got real bad, and now I’m just going on dates that go nowhere, and they range from okay to pretty fun! This last one went great I thought, she even texted me when she got home saying it was a good time, so I gave her my number and it’s been radio silence since. What’s even the point?

 

i'm turning 36 soon, still dating and it's an interesting spot to be in. many of my close friends are married/in committed partnerships/have families. my professional/social life keeps me busy enough to not feel lonely or anything like that. but as my birthday comes up, i can't help but reflect on where i'm at, especially since i've been single/in the dating world for years now.

with that said, dating apps weren't doing much for me. i made some cool connections that turned into nice friendships, but the apps left a lot to be desired and had to step away recently. not long after that, i started talking to someone i've only peripherally known for over a year now via mutual friends. there's a mutual interest and we're spending time together so we'll see how things shake out. (i hope i don't end up returning to the apps in a few months, lol)

 

Dating apps are actually horrible

 

Getting broken up with sure does suck

 

I'm sorry, that's awful

 

Thanks, I appreciate you saying that. Even with the experience of being in my 30s and having gone through multiple difficult breakups I still can’t talk myself into not feeling sick to my stomach and not having clouded thoughts. It’s very frustrating how short sighted your emotions can make you.

 

This world is driving me crazy with how awful dating and relationships are

 

we only meeting people at running clubs now

i am not worthy

 

Honestly debating finding Jesus again so I can meet someone at church instead of doom-swiping through the apps. Kidding, kinda.

 

Don't date, it's fucking awful

 

Genuine question, does anyone have any tips for being less jealous? I have some past experiences where I was cheated on and it makes me fairly anxious and jealous. I don't ever want to be a possessive or obsessive person.

 

I think it just comes with being more accepting of yourself and learning to be comfortable with who you are and what you bring to the table in a relationship. It's the same as any other emotion, whether it's anger or anxiety, you're still going to feel those things, at times you'll even know in your rational brain that they're irrational and unwarranted, but the goal is to not let them dictate your actions. Find an appropriate outlet, coping mechanism, or tools to help you process.

Try to operate on the assumption that the other person always deserves the benefit of doubt. Err on the side of over-communicating, don't assume the other person knows how you're feeling or what your thinking, and in the same vein actively listen and repeat back when the other person is telling you how they feel.

In the beginning, don't take things too seriously until it's time, don't take false-starts and stops to heart, peoples' lives are crazy and things can happen for myriad reasons that have nothing to do with you. Don't assign feelings or intentions and don't make assumptions about the other person's feelings or action. Believe what they're telling you.

Believe you're good enough and that you have what it takes to make the other person happy, and actively take those steps. But realize that doesn't mean doing what you think should make them happy, it means listening to what they're telling you they need. Don't be too proud to change.

Take care of yourself. Do those things that make you feel good and confident, a fresh haircut, a new outfit, whatever it is. Stop shit-talking yourself, you're your own worst critic. We can be so mean to ourselves and it takes work to learn to stop.

If the other person does something shitty, that is a reflection on them, not you. Respect yourself enough to know when to walk away.

 

I'm just so cautious of people because of my past and also because social media is just flooded with things where people brazenly talk about how they cheat on their partners. It scares me so much.

 

I don't know if I could ever stop shit talking myself.

 

It takes a lot of work, and you'll always be critical of yourself, but the first goal is to stop doing active harm and indulging in it. Find things you do like about yourself and highlight those. And honestly, sometimes you gotta fake it til you make it. Compliment yourself even if you don't believe it at first until it becomes second nature. You learned to criticize yourself, you can learn to stop doing it so much, and to eventually compliment yourself.