Mental Health Thread • Page 434

Likewise, I heard many horror stories about SSRIs, and I may just be lucky, but I was initially prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) and had no major issues other than some sexual side effects that I would work around on the weekends. That worked for me for about four years, and I just started Effexor and it dissolved probably about 60% of my general anxiety overnight. I used to take clonazepam (Klonopin) almost daily, but the Effexor has helped minimize my usage of that, making it even more effective now when I do need it.

All this to say, it's kind of a crap shoot. Hopefully you'll be lucky like me and the low dose won't cause her any unwanted issues, and most importantly, will help. If she does experience side effects, make sure she's not afraid to speak up and try something new. I'm all for people getting medicated when they need it, so she shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed of that. The world as it is is not easy for most people to handle on their own.

 

I tried idek how many ssris and none helped but they didn't hurt either. It made me start to wonder if I was even really depressed and if that's why they had no impact, positive or negative. They just did nothing so I started to question if it's cause I didn't have a problem and just invented one in my brain.

I've been on effexor for a while now which is not an ssri but it's been going great. No longer feel paralyzed with dread and anxiety. But it's def a trial and error thing, and I got lucky that I had no negative side effects of the various ssris I tried. Hopefully her doctor is clear with her that it can take some time to find a good fit so she has that expectation going in and that it's not her fault!

 

I’m on 20mg of generic Prozac and I think it helps but more or less I attribute a majority of any success I experience to therapy

 

I don't think I like my therapist anymore but she's willing to help me get my masters degree and doesn't charge me a copay so I'm thinking about riding it out a few more years lol

 

Today has been insane. Yesterday was my first advising day, so I have tons of emails to get to and questions to answer, but before I even got the chance to jump in, two co-workers got into a fight over one of them allegedly calling the other the r-word and then putting myself and our secretary in the middle of it despite the fact we were in an entirely different room at the time. While this is happening, a student lies to our secretary to get into my office and beg for an exam she took remotely without a proctor to be accepted, and when I tell her no, she tells a bunch of other students (and our Chair) that I said I would "think about it" and that they should take their exams remotely too, so I had to put out that fire at the same time. I don't know what people are thinking sometimes.

I really want to go home and relax -- I deserve it -- but Thursday is my wife's day to "do nothing" after her insane work week, which I understand is necessary but also inconvenient because it's trash night and we have a lot of animals to take care of and trash to collect before the night is over. I might just have to let dishes go another night, because I just don't think I can do everything tonight.

 

Ugh, I got asked to do the inflatable bubble suit sumo game on the ice at the hockey game last night and I never get claustrophobic or hyperventilate but I had a full-on panic attack in the suit in front of 5,000 people. Really couldn't breathe, couldn't catch my breathe for about half an hour, body kept shaking even after I started to feel better. My anxiety is still all jacked up today.

 

Oh god. I am sorry my dude

 

Zoloft saved my life and the stigma against SSRI’s taking place right now in online discourse is legitimately baffling and harmful

 

I'm really, really sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. As an occupational therapist, my wife has worked with a number of kids with PANS/PANDAS, and I hear how difficult it can be. I don't think she's allowed to give medical advice, obviously, but I can certainly ask her if there's anything additional you can look into or activities she's done with those kids that have aided in them feeling better. I'll try to get back, even if she doesn't have anything or particular use. Until them, just know this thread is definitely thinking of you and your family you got this, Dad. You're doing everything you can and I'm sure it's not going unnoticed.

 

My little brother went through a phase like this when he was 13-14 it didn’t have anything to do with him being sick as far as I know but he was just like constantly over sharing with my mom and feeling bad about everything he did etc but I guess it just stopped after a while he’s 15 now and my mom can barely get him to talk at all which is how I was as a teen

 

not having a car is starting to get to me. its been several months at this point and i fucking hate living like this. its bad enough my city has god awful public transit but i just also long for the freedom a car gives me just something simple like running to a video game shop to browse or go get snacks late at night at the gas station or being able to get myself literally anywhere without relying on a ride. i regret a lot of things from my addiction and relapses but crashing my car for the second time last year probably takes the cake. bad enough ive done it before but my first car since doing it to my last one and i did it again. worse yet i have absolutely no fucking idea when i'll even be able to start working toward getting one. i was probably a little over halfway there 8 weeks ago before i monumentally fucked things up with my mental breakdown and blew through almost all of it in just a few days. now i dont even know when ill be ready to start working again, and where i'll even work because i probably have to find a new job, and i dont even know if i trust myself with a disposable income right now anyway so what would it matter? the road ahead is bleak and all i want is to go on a long drive by myself and some music. i wont be able to do that for a long, long time.

 

my mental health is in a very bad place due to many different things and it’s starting to get to a point where I’m running out of reasons to even live

 

Dude, I bet your writing affects many people in a positive way. I’m looking forward to your next book

 

I just don't understand why I was born so seemingly different from everyone. I don't understand why I'm such a fuck up and why I have to hate myself so much and wallow in my regrets and mistakes so much. Why can't I just say and do the right things?

 

Not doing so hot. My wife's job is not sustainable, and we both know it. She works 10 hour days four days a week, but it's more like 12 with paperwork. She's exhausted when she gets home, and I know that. I do what I can around the house and can't blame her for not having the energy for anything. Her depression has also been revved up recently because of a change in her medication.

At the same time, I have the opportunity to go back to school -- and opportunity I turned down last year because I didn't think it was the right time, which kind of confirmed how important it is to me -- and she just... doesn't care. I mean, she told me outright. She's apologetic. She told me she thinks it's important for me to do what I want to do. But when I asked for any amount of enthusiasm or at the very least support, she couldn't muster it. Told me she kind of just felt nothing about it. I think it's because she knows I'll be able to do less around the house if I'm going to school on top of a full-time job. And that's true. I'll still do everything I can to help out, but... normally, in a relationship, this is where the other person would step up and support. I believe the load in a relationship is like a scale that weighs differently from time to time. But it seemed like she genuinely doesn't have the energy to be there for me. We both feel like we're already doing so much for the other person, and there must some kind of miscommunication because neither of us feel like it's enough and we're both spent.

I don't know what to do. I don't want this decision to negatively impact my marriage, but it feels really important to do this for myself before we have kids.

 

Is work going to pay for school?

 

Yep

 

Ahh yeah that’s really hard to pass up

 

Fuck I'm sad

I just want to cry

 

Seeing the U.S. Army ads on Reddit and at the movies that say "We Are the Answer" or claim, in so many words, that things are scary and unpredictable right now and that the best way to control what happens next is to join the army, literally make my skin crawl.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this. No doubt our situations are different, but my inbox is always open.

 

Some days I feel really, really guilty, either about something that I've done in the past or occasionally nothing at all, just this feeling that I am not a good person or the person I pretend to be and that I don't deserve the people in my life. Those days are really tough to deal with and talk about without sounding insane. Or like I am guilty of something, even if my brain is making it up.

I don't know if that makes sense or if anyone can relate.

edit: to clarify even further, it's this feeling that I am hiding something and that if the people in my life knew who I really was, they wouldn't want to be around me anymore. Sometimes that thing I'm feeling is a past experience that I'm not interested in sharing, and other times, it's literally nothing. Just generic doom and gloom feeling that one day they're gonna find out and I'm gonna end up alone, and it will all be because of something I did.

 

Not to rant, but I'm also struggling with a lack of purpose and longevity of happiness. I have these cool wins, like an interview with a band I love, being in a friend's wedding, etc, and I enjoy those things while they're happening, but inevitably there is always a comedown from this thing you were looking forward to. That's just how life is, hills and valleys, but it leaves me feeling empty a lot of the time, like there isn't any greater prize for me to work towards. I'll never "beat life" and get to hold onto that happiness forever; regardless of the size of the win, everyone eventually forgets and moves on. So what's it all for?

Even like friends leaving at the end of a really fun night. I know it's coming, that the feeling of joy I'm having is coming close to an end, and I'm filled with dread about it.

 

I totally relate to the feelings you expressed in both of these posts. I often feel like a bad person and that if people knew what was really going on inside my head, they would be disgusted with me. And to your second post, I feel like I'm always chasing happiness. It isn't intrinsic for me...I'm not a happy person. There are times where I feel happy but it's always due to what's going on around me - hanging out with friends, going to a concert, etc. When it's over, I'm back to being my usual depressed self. It's a temporary relief, but it never lasts.

On a different note, a relatively minor situation has triggered my OCD the past week and a half, and it's driving me nuts. I was at a walk for Gaza and met a (cute) girl there who I had a nice conversation with. Before she left, we exchanged Instagrams (kicking myself for not getting her phone number, but oh well). Anyway, I sent her a message on Instagram a couple days later proposing we go on a hike together. She sent back a message the next day saying she was down, but never responded when I asked her what are some of the hikes she likes in the area. After a couple days without a response, I started obsessing about why she wasn't responding, whether I had done anything wrong, etc. And checking my phone constantly to see if I missed any messages or if she had "seen" the message because it still doesn't say she's viewed it. I've learned over the years to control my compulsions pretty well, but this has just been out of control. Talked to a friend and my mom about it, and decided to send a final message this week proposing a specific time and place, which she still hasn't responded to or "seen". Really trying to let go of this now that the ball is firmly in her court, but haven't been successful in doing so. It's been a huge distraction and has made it difficult to sleep (which is very rare for me). And still having a lot of trouble resisting the urge to check my phone. It's been really frustrating and it's hard to know why I'm so worked up about it. One guess is that I've been single for 4.5 years and really want to start dating again, but haven't felt ready to seriously do so given where my mental health is at, plus feeling undesirable due to being unemployed for a while and still living at home and financially dependent on my mom at 29 years old. But I've had those feelings for a long time and haven't gotten this worked up before.

 

No advice (sorry) but I relate to this hard these days, and the more I repeat an activity, the more / worse I feel it. No kids, or having kids, and I've had the same job for a while, so it's led to this spiraling feeling that everything is on a diminishing return of happiness, and a general feeling of 'is this it?'. I can't think of any life events that will change things up (except negative ones like parents getting older, something happening to a close friend or my wife) so things just feel stale (and I think about the negatives far too much considering the health and happiness of those around me). Activities I used to enjoy like concerts are less special the more I go, and with friends being spread out, a big reunion, or meet up then just leads to a big crash after. I don't like to self diagnose or say I'm depressed, but I certainly don't know how to be thankful and joyful and in the moment and appreciate the small things. I'm getting the usual advice of go to the gym (from people who enjoy the gym) so I'm trying to get myself into hobbies and more outside time. I'd like to hike more this spring (used to be avid) before it's too warm and see if I can find some joy out of the sunlight and fresh air. Plus that will keep me from drinking as a destressor which is a whole other story.

TLDR - I feel you.