The Parenting Thread • Page 150

goddamn our daughter now refuses to poop on the potty, she's saving it for the diapers and pull-ups for night and naptime since we haven't taken those away yet. this is exhausting

 

So my wife and I aren't officially trying yet, but she just went off her birth control and we have a few months of her coming down from her meds before we start. Some days, I feel really, really ready and confident, and then other days, the "realness" of how becoming a parent alters your life forever just paralyzes me. Any good resources out there for folks that aren't becoming parents yet, but they're wrestling with the anxiety of starting down that path?

 

my wife is super high anxiety and certainly had these worries and thoughts leading into it, but once that kid arrives it just... clicks, and makes sense. Your life changes but you don't care that it's changing because the kid really alters your brain, its kinda weird but cool. I don't have an answer to resources unfortunately, but I can at least offer the personal experience that it's gonna be ok!!

 

Thanks a lot for the encouragement, definitely appreciate it :)

 

little munchkin turns one in two weeks! how!! i really wish she’d stop grinding her teeth!!!

 

opposite perspective from Steve if you’re interested. Felt really ready until my son was born and it was a real rough first year for me. Felt no real connection. My wife had all these opportunities to bond because she breastfed and what not and I felt like just a diaper changer and babysitter lol. Probably wasn’t until he gained some personality and could do things that it clicked for me.

 

I would say definitely just don’t put any pressure on yourself. Do your best, help your partner and child as best as you can. The rest will come with time. My wife is very high anxiety and even now struggles with how much she isn’t around. I just do my best to make her job easier when I am gone.

In my experience, you will doubt yourself all of the time. Some days will be awesome, others you will feel like you let your baby, partner, or both down. It’s hard but extremely rewarding.

I read some books, but unfortunately a lot of the father-oriented stuff is also fairly misogynistic from what I could find. There were pearls of knowledge here and there, but for the most part, the books weren’t super helpful, unfortunately.

Following along in this thread and seeing people going through the same milestones/mental headspace as myself at those times was very helpful

 

I’m still learning obviously, only six months in but yeah it’s a massive change. Good in ways. But the biggest thing is, as long as you care and are trying, you’re already a step ahead of a good amount of parents in the world. It’s hard, but it’s worth it, and just putting that effort forward is the most important thing.

 

Soooooo apparently baby #2 is on the way lol

 

Congrats on the sex

 

sister-in-law and her son are in town for a few days. I forgot how ill-behaved that child is. crazy how much I don't care because it's not my kid but man is he obnoxious

 

My son is 3 and I so badly want him to like Pokemon because I loved it as a kid. Tried the OG series a couple times and did not care for it. I think it was the dated animation.

 

The latest episodes of Bluey are great, and the Cricket episode might be my new favorite. Just a perfect little narrative tucked into 7 minutes.

 

Also enjoyed the cricket ep

 

Cricket is great because I would totally act like Bandit and his buddies if we couldn't beat a kid at a sport like that, haha

 

I love Bluey but I don’t find it relatable except in small ways. The parents are so patient and so fun and the kids are so good and kind and end up making the right decisions with very little pushing. Especially as a single parent, most days are just not like that.

 

I agree about the parents. They’re like the best possible version on the best day of me being a parent lol. I definitely get impatient at times and they don’t seem to hardly ever

 

It's something for me to aspire to. I have a lot of anger passed down from my father, but seeing them being patient and kind with their children helps to keep me accountable, even if it's a near impossibility to mirror completely.

 

The episode where Chilli says she just needs 20 minutes without being bothered and trying to keep the kids away from her during that time is very relatable. Also the episodes when they're hungover or too tired to play and just want to sit on the couch.
But yes, most of the time everything is a very idealistic scenario and outcome, but all kids shows are like that and give good examples on the best way to react.

 

I've never watched Bluey because I don't have kids, the parents are hungover in a children's show? Lol

 

Kids shows will have tons of nods to adults in them that kids won't necessarily pickup on. This was especially true for shows in the 90's.

 

Bluey rules

 

The parts where Bandit is trying to work from home and gets constantly interrupted is very real, haha

 

My kid doesn't care for anything animated right now, really just Ms Rachel and Blippi (kill me). We also just don't watch TV in general though so he probably doesn't quite understand cartoons I guess

 

What are you trying to say, Aaron???!! We aren’t allowed to drink after our kids are born??!