Mental Health Thread • Page 56

Sister attempted the other night.

Fuck. No one has any chill right now. Going to the doctor with her in the morning.

 

I'm so sorry, I hope things get better soon

 

I think things are on their way to being better, but I definitely just had a panic attack over all of this shit. I've never had one before and that was scary as fuck.

In good news, sister is on zoloft and will be seeing a therapist on saturday. I'm essentially on call for her until Sunday when I go out of town, so fingers crossed everything goes okay and she feels better. She's feeling guilty as fuck right now and I don't know how to make it better. :(

 

I left school before my last class in favor of going home and laying in bed and crying. You could say today was a rough mental health day.

 

I skipped each of the two sessions for one of my classes this week because I just couldn't muster the strength to get out of bed and face the day, so you're not alone in that. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

 

I feel like it doesn't even make sense since it's still Instant Relief, but my doc upped my Adderall dose by 5 mg and I feel like it's been lasting way longer and I'm not crashing when I come down from it anymore. It's also been doing wonders for my anxiety.

It's funny how stimulants like that can cause anxiety for many, but for me, slowing down all those racing thoughts and being able to focus lowers so much anxiety. I hope I've finally found the right dose for myself.

 

Sister is hopeful and ready to go into therapy tomorrow. We just talked for an hour and a half (longer than our usual calls) and she's promised to be open and honest and not put up any walls in the therapy process. I hope she holds to that. I really want this to help her.

My friend is very similar - she also gets super sleepy with alcohol and caffeine doesn't affect her. It's interesting how everything is backwards for her.

*hug*

 

Haha yeah the funny thing is, caffeine will wake me up, but in no way does it help me focus, but then with Adderall, the compete opposite is true :P.

I'm very sorry about your sister and I'm really happy to hear things are looking better. I truly wish her, you and your family the best. I definitely have a huge family history of anxiety, depression and bipolar- I can't imagine how i would handle that kind of news from my sisters or parents

 

It's definitely a process dealing with this. I had my first panic attack ever yesterday after I got home. Highly do not recommend. I'm feeling better about everything today, especially since she seems more calm and open to everything. I appreciate all of the well wishes for sure - I never thought I'd have to go through this with her, but it's not surprising at the same time. I'm just ready for her to feel better again.

 

My mom told me I'm fat and ugly, not in those words, so I'm eating chocolate chip cookies and sour patch kids. Suck on that mother!

 

Not cool. Also, share! :E

 

I told some work friends I'd go out with them tonight but I'm having one of those days where most things make me want to cry. Can't decide what to do.

 

I'm gonna say go, it's worth the chance of having a good time, but form an exit plan if you end up just wanting to bail.

 

Some days I feel like people who try to help, doesn't really genuinely do it, and instead (hey maybe even unconsciously) just do it to fulfill some sort of self-void that they, themselves, are missing.

And in those days I feel so angry. Because those days they get to feel good about themselves, and while I'm stuck here still broken.

 

a LOT of the time my mental health can be attributed to PMSing but I didn't expect that at all this week because it wasn't that time. But turns out my cycle changed I guess so now I know why I was so mopey and depressed the past few days!

 

A few years ago I had a thing with this dude that ended poorly. And by ended poorly I mean turns out he was also sleeping with this girl who I thought was my friend (although I don't know if either of them know that I found out). It really did a number on my self esteem, I've never felt so pathetic as I did with him.
Anyway, after all that shit he moved away for work, but he comes back to Halifax about once a year. Just found out that he's in town and my stomach is in knots. I do not want to see him, so much so that it's making me just want to not leave the house until I know he's gone.

 

Sooooo short update: Sister is living with our parents now. He crossed the line in multiple ways and she's no longer safe (and, tbh, hasn't been for a while). So my life is revolving around that now, and I'm happy to be of as much support as I can.

Again, my mantra comes into play: life is hard.

 

I feel like everyone hates me. I'll go into a room of people, attempt to communicate with them, and there's a 95% chance that I'll leave feeling like I made a bad impression and that I'm completely unlikeable and underwhelming. It's probably all tied in with my lack of confidence/non-existent levels of self-esteem. Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

 

@Letterbomb31 you're definitely not alone there, I know those feelings all too well

 

No, I feel that way too. In fact I feel like that on here.

It doesn't help when I notice anyone who will reply or talk to me only when in disagreement, and usually aggressively so. Or when they do talk to me, it's very sarcastic/patronizing.

 

For me it's a catch 22 of wanting everyone to love me but being too anxious or emotionally unavailable for that to happen

 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm bi polar type 2. My mom has very disabling bi polar disorder, so I guess it is possible.


Something Very minor happened yesterday that really upset me and since then I've been laying in my bed in the dark, it's 7pm and I haven't moved from this bed minus to eat something small once and use the restroom.

I'm off today, so it isn't like I called off to lay here. But like why am I doing this?

 

I assume everyone hates me, so that puts me on the defensive, which in turn makes me more reserved and less likely to make friends. *sigh*

 

This is a depressing job. It's not often I take on the stress and the horrible things I see and hear and bring that mindset home, but today is def the day I do. And I feel like I can't even come home and shake it off cause these stupid randos are probably home. I'm so stressed.

 

Definitely haven't been doing very well the last couple of weeks. Just been an overwhelming mix of depressed, anxious, stressed, and frustrated. And tired. Always tired. I don't know. Also, not great at talking about it. Fought with myself just typing this nonsense up.