(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 260

I can feel myself inevitably heading towards the same thing with the girl I'm interested in, haha.

Fuck it, I'd rather say something and have it blow up in my face than say nothing and live with the "what if" forever.

 

having friendships with a mutual understanding of the need for time alone/space (without taking it personally) is so relieving. I stay pretty MIA during weekdays but as soon as the weekend hits I'm like "hey lets hangout and talk all night."

 

Yeah, I can see the power dynamics having a factor. The shitty thing is we broke up on good terms, it's not like I was angry with her and I also hadn't done anything fucked up to cause her to break up with me. I told her I wasn't going to beg for her back and that I respected her decision. However, she later suggested we be friends and I said that'd be impossible for me and told her that I didn't want to be her friend and that I politely request that she stop approaching me (we went to the same college campus and live on a small island). Anyways, after that rejection of her friendship she seemed super angry towards me and even went so far as to post online how "shitty and overwhelmingly mediocre and childish" I was in the relationship and I'm like......wtf????? Sucks to have someone you love say shitty things about you even if they aren't true.

Edit: side note, I'm her first real relationship and thus, her first breakup

 

I mean, she probably loved you a lot and wanted to keep you in her life, even as a friend. Imagine how you feel, then think about how she feels, having had any sort of connection rejected by what was ostensibly her first love. It goes both ways. At the very least, you could have said that you may be ready for friendship later, but right now, you need time to heal. You chose to burn bridges and that hurts as well. That's how I see it. Do not worry, though. Eventually, you both will look back upon each other and feel nothing. That's the good news.

 

Something on your mind Dom? Damn that last sentence stings

 

This break has only been for three days and it's killing me on the inside. I get why she needs some time alone, but it's hard. I'm hoping for the best, but I'm really worried this is actually going to be the end.

 

No, not really. I think that, more often than not, unless friendship is established, a void opens up between yourself and the other. That nothingness is what allows you to move on, if the break-up is just the standard break-up, i.e., the deterioration of passion and the increasingly unequal division of emotional labor that places upon the other partner.

 

I'm thinking I might just bite the bullet and actually ask this girl what's going on between us.
Perfectly happy going slow and seeing where things go, but right now I have no idea if she actually likes me or not, and I don't want to spend my time getting too invested in something which is going no where, and I don't want to keep feeling like I'm pestering her with texts.

Not knowing is definitely worse than knowing.

 

I feel this soo very hard right now

 

Lol so I just got coffee with my ex. Just wanted to catch up and clear the air before she left. The thing is, she means a lot to me just as a human and I cared deeply for her and love her just as a person and she wouldn't acknowledge even our friendship or that she cared for me as a human and basically said I don't mean anything to her. In a way it's good cause now there is zero hope but like, I at least expected her to show that she does care for me as a person. It just doesn't seem like fucking normal human behavior.

 

That's for the better. It's natural to want to salvage the connection you have with an ex in a friendship capacity but it leads nowhere good in my experience. You just keep wanting to be with them and either rekindle a doomed relationship or carry that attachment until it fizzles out.

Though I'm sure plenty of other people have better experiences

 

Thirded! Well we keep hanging out a few times a week so I guess she probably likes me but still

 

I was in that limbo a long ass time and I do not miss it. Much love to everyone and good luck

 

I want to give you a hug.

 

Yeah I mean, I'm friends with one of my ex's and everything is cool, but I understand that it's rare. But for her to basically say that it all meant nothing...I dunno, it was just very cold and emotionless, like something a narcissist would say. Like, we had an awesome relationship, no fights or bickering, always had fun blah blah blah, but she's acting like it didn't even happen. Just a couple months ago she was telling me I was one of her favorite people (not romantically speaking) for Christ's sake. This is the first time I've been the dumpee and man...it's rough. I just assumed, that because she's leaving in a month. she'd be down to hang out since we probably won't see each other again but she seems totally fine with that fact. Also, she told me she compartmentalizes her emotions and stuff so who knows what's really going on in her head but this is the way she dealing with it so.

*hugs*

 

gonna get "eventually you both will look back upon each other and feel nothing" tattooed real quick brb guys

 

That's not always true.

 

lmao. reminds me of this.

 

I'm not friends with my exes. One of them I said I would be, but the more time I spent mulling over our relationship and slowly realizing how horrible and toxic and abusive it was, I'm like lol noooope. Not in a million years. Once I finally do break up with someone I cut the cord and don't talk to them again, even tho it takes me too long to break it off sometimes.

 

as long as i'm doing the looking back and feeling nothing, it's cool with me

 

Welp, went from nothing to wonderful and back to nothing all in about two weeks, and I could not be more bummed.

 

Moved to Bristol and immediately got chatting to a few people via tinder. Pretty sure I'll end up asking one of them on a date tonight.

The joke of this is, that I don't know Bristol at all, which means the conversation has to go something like:

"Hey, would you like to go out for a drink?"
"I'd like that."
"Good, so where are we going?"

At least, I hope that's how it goes. She might just say no.

 

My friend just recently moved to London, and had the same issue. He used the great line of asking them what their favourite things to do are and where they like to go and asking them to show you. Favourite bars/restaurants that kind of thing. That way they're guaranteed to like the place they're at, and it gives you a chance to compliment them on their taste...

 

I hate when ppl ask what I like to do for fun or whatever. Then I have to admit to being the boring hermit that I am lol. I'm always like "idk?? Watch netflix and sit on my laptop for hours??"

 

Tactical. I'll be trying that out!