Mental Health Thread • Page 378

Love ya homie, proud of you. Thank you.

 

My grandma had surgery so I’m staying with her for a few days. She told me some stuff that made me so upset. Found out my dad paid to have my brother’s car fixed, $500. When I lost my job bc of covid all I could find was a part time minimum wage job. I had literally no money. My rent alone was almost my entire paycheck. I called and asked him if I paid for a part, would he fix my car (he used to be a mechanic and would have been easy to do). He said “take it to your mechanic.” My stepmom told me, in front of my dad, to never ask them for help bc they wouldn’t help me. And my dad sat there and said nothing. But he’ll give my brother $500??? When my parents got divorced I lived with my mom and hated visiting with my dad bc he’s an ass. I didn’t speak to him for awhile bc I was so over his shit but my grandma told me he was threatening to kill himself bc I wouldn’t speak to him so I started visiting him again. Everyone made me out as the bad guy but this is the exact reason why I didn’t want to speak to him. He was never a real father and never will be. I should be used to this shit by now but still makes me feel like shit. Like my entire family has always treated me very different than everyone else and I have no idea why or what I did. I really need to reevaluate things bc I’m so tired of constantly helping them out but getting treated bad in return.

 

It really bothers me that you can’t just block someone on this site when you feel like all they do is go out of their way to troll you or make you feel bad. Yeah you can block them but that does nothing because they can still try to dunk on you to other people on the site, it sucks.

 

The fact people are still acting like its 2006 on AP.net is the problem. I'm sorry someone is being an asshole to you. You've always been such a nice human IMO.

 

Thank you so much, I mostly tune out the negativity but sometimes when I see someone who I know has some bizarre vendetta against me says something mean for the sake of it or likes a post doing similar or just even disagreeing, it can really upset me for a moment. I try to go to other threads for awhile or just take a break from posting but I don’t like that I have to either.

Also, thank you so much for being such an amazing human as well and for being there for me when I really needed someone to talk to. I’ll always appreciate that.

 

awww. I appreciate that. I’m always here for ya!!

 

Had a pretty big talk with my wife last night and realized I need to start working on my mental health more actively. I’ve let most of my self care routines go since the baby was born and my anxiety has been gradually getting worse for awhile now. Between the usual understaffed “post-COVID” work BS and the added responsibility of a second child I’ve really let all of my thoughts spiral out. I’m considering getting back on meds in the first time for nearly a decade and am really anxious about taking that step, but at the same time those nerves are the whole reason I need them anyway.

 

Left a full time job at Barnes & Noble cause I was sick of retail and wanted a much better career and benefits. I had accepted a job as a CCA at the local post office. Did all the necessary research, heard horror stories, etc. about the position before accepting and thought I could handle it. I only lasted 2 weeks/3 days of working on my own, it was hell. I didn't mind the long and consecutive work days but I have a processing disability and dyscalculia which made the job impossible and I was miserable. I couldn't find a proper rhythm with delivering and had such a poor sense of the street numbers. I thought I could power through but I was dead wrong. I resigned immediately and I certainly feel like a weight has been lifted but my anxieties have just shifted to not having a job and with bills coming up. I have a good number of applications out but I've never felt this defeated in my life.

 

I try not to post too often in here because a lot of people are going through a lot worse things, but I just feel like all my stress and anxieties are culminating today. Insane work deadlines right up until the wedding next week. Did I mention a wedding next week? So that's exacerbating things. My fiancee is stressed and little things are turning into big things. She texted me this morning saying she didn't know if she could keep doing her job, and I don't mean to invalidate her feelings, but I know she can. She's so, so smart. She's just so hard on herself for every small mistake she makes. And there's not much I can do at this point. Her therapist isn't helpful, and with everything going on, it's not an ideal time to find a new one, although it seems necessary. On top of all that, I'm just feeling guilty again, like I'm a bad friend or partner. I finally had to block that one friend that cut me off because I'm genuinely afraid she might try to do something to sabotage the wedding or my work life. I don't know how I got so sucked into something that never really involved me in the first place. It makes me questions the decisions I've made and the kind of person I am. My brother is the only person I want to talk to right now, but he works so much that I can't get him to nail down a couple hours for us to just see each other. Sorry, just needed to get that all out. I hope everyone else is doing okay today.

 

Just over a week after getting laid off, I get notice that I was rejected from the post-bass PreMed program that I applied to. I don't know. I don't know if I can do much more of this, or handle more rejection of myself. Everyone says that better things are coming, and that it'll all be good in the longterm, but I don't know. I don't feel like I have any prospects or hope, and the economy keeps sounding bleak, and I don't know what to do. I just don't know if I can take any more of this.

 

I’m sorry to hear and I was in a very similar position not too long ago (slightly different as I voluntarily left a very abusive job) and was feeling the exact same. Had to move in with some friends and went to feeling like I was on an upward trajectory to feeling totally down on myself and scared I’d never be able to get to where I once hoped

I know it’s cliche but keep your head up as hard it is. Find different things you enjoy doing and lean into that. Try to take advantage of the free time you have as stressful as it is and keep yourself energized and engaged and I believe something will come along. Never know what way/ shape / form it comes in but you just need to be in a position to jump on it when it comes your way.

that’s how I got through it not too long ago. It’s still a struggle. It’ll always be a struggle. But there’s a lot of good that comes with it along the way

Hope you take care of yourself

 

I feel like this is a good place to vent and not worry about who has it worse than who. I once brought up to my therapist that my issues might seem small compared to other clients. She assured me everyone has their own battles and we all handle things differently.

 

I am writing this because I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I want to take my own life. I'm too ashamed to tell my family, that I have a prescription of Diazpam next to me that I keep thinking of taking and hoping I never wake up.

 

I'm so, so sorry that you're feeling this way. I've been there. If you are feeling embarrassed or worried about your family, it's likely because you know they care about you. You are loved. Please stay with us. There are other ways to combat whatever it is you're going through.

Feel free to message me if you need to talk.

 

Thank you Aaron, I just sent you a message.

 

Responded - I'm at work, but I take my lunch in 45 and will be able to send a proper response then. Please be kind to yourself until then.

 

I am around if you need someone else to talk to. PM’s should be open.

 

Thank you Greg, that's really nice of you.

 

Yep, I got your response and will reply ASAP - I'm working late unfortunately, but I haven't forgot.

 

Thank you, but don't worry, I appreciate the time you have given me to help.

I just wanted to say how grateful I am that a stranger from a site that I have been visiting for years would lend their time to help me. I'm sure I haven't been the only one, but it's really touched my heart.

 

Please, anytime. I will still be responding. Just got home.

 

Thank you Aaron, I just replied to you. Thanks for your patience.

 

I recently found out one of the newer people at work is getting paid the same as me. Which is insulting to me considering all the shit I do and my years of experience. It just shows you how underpaid I am, and I know I need to ask for a raise, but I need to plan it accordingly. I want to ask for a $6 raise excuse I actually deserve to get paid that much and should be getting that much, but my worker who has over 20 years of experience asked for a $5 raise because she’s underpaid too, they’re not giving it to her. not only that but another girl asked for a raise and they didn’t give her much, and she still makes less than this newer girl (who has almost no experience. No hate because we all start new but just making a point)

 

Almost got into a fight leaving our rehearsal dinner. Some drunk guys wandered in from the bar, tried to steal food, we asked them politely to leave, and they proceeded to berate our entire family and follow us out to our cars asking where we lived. Called us ugly, said our marriage would never last. I had to call the cops when they started threatening us. I'm fucking livid.

 

That’s awful - I’m sorry you had to experience that