Vent Your Frustrations • Page 105

@domotime2 I feel for you in this situation. I think its almost inherent in having an upstairs neighbour that there will be noise etc. Do you know how long that person has been in the place below you for?

I would say the consensus between people I know and my local reddit area thread is that if you are leasing and the complainer is causing you stress over a period of months, you're just as well moving once these lease is up as it tends to not be worth the fight. This might be jumping the gun in your case though.

I always work on the "the better the devil you know..." and im sure you guys are better than a lot of other people that could potentially be in your place!

 

100%. We've had neighbors like that but our system was "hey as long as it stops at like 10pm...whatever, people can live their lives". It's apartment living. People are allowed to live. Like you mentioned, what if we had kids.

Our landlord responded today and said "may we suggest you're loud walkers".

Flipped a shit

 

Oh 100%. 4 months left. Definitely out.

 

They’re out of line. And management is being ridiculous. I had an actual complaint issue but management did absolutely nothing. I presented them with recordings of the noise, which they clearly heard and I said sometimes it’s louder. Mentioned how the loud noise is “after hours” or anytime office is closed. Had someone at the leasing office come over to my unit when I felt like it was “inappropriately loud enough” to listen. They clearly heard noise. The noise was excessive. Daily. Several hours. Office told me they can’t do anything to the tenants because they’re “not violating anything and allowed to listen to music”. I’m glad those people are gone. They were a nuisance and always fought.

I have new people that live behind me and I rarely hear a peep. When I do, it’s oddly loud and sounds like someone’s talking over a mic. Hard to explain. BUT that goes on for maybe not even a half hour, and it’s only happened a few times at least that I’m home. Oddly, these instances have happened when I have a terrible migraine and can hear them from my bedroom, which I couldn’t hear very well from the other people unless my door was open.

Now I’m not sure what state you live in, but these “noises” are “natural/normal” (don’t remember the actual word that is used), and you’re not doing anything wrong. Bring that to the managements attention. The downstairs neighbors lives around other people so she’s going to hear normal everyday noises and needs to get over it and management needs to tell her that what she’s hearing isn’t out of the ordinary.

 

Absolutely. There's abnormal, consistent nuisance sounds (loud music, furniture moving, maybe aerobics, or excessive dog barking), that when it happens more often (which id say multiple times a week for long periods of time) can be argued against.

Feet shuffling (stomping? Are they calling us fat?), laundry, playing with our dogs for like 10 minutes... thats called tough shit

Me and wife decided were not changing much of anything...since there's nothing to change haha.

Apparently she works from home now. I mean... not my problem

 

We had a talk with management. We were emailing back and forth and then I said, fuck that, I'm coming into the office

They agreed in the end we aren't in trouble or anything like that. We offered to let them into her apartment and they can hear whatever it is. Also offered to put more padding on our carpet or something. In the end, if we had kids, it would be way worse and couldn't say nothing.

Instead I have two older lazy dogs who lay there 80% of the time (the other 15 they're out with me on walks)...the other is them walking or lightly running from the couch to their food bowls that are 20feet away.

 

The previous people behind me dog would bark sometimes. I didn’t find their dog barking excessive enough to complain about. It wasn’t very often. The office actually had asked me about their dog, and I truthfully said yeah the dark barks here and there but not enough to be an issue. What got me was they said they asked the surrounding neighbors if they had an issue with noise... unit on the left of them, no occupant. Unit on the right, tenant may be hard of hearing (not sure tho I just know something always told me he may not even be able to hear them like I can), upstairs people I don’t think you can hear that noise from upstairs... so like not sure how the office statement about neighbors saying they don’t hear anything can be valid.

the thing that bothers me about the guy that lives upstairs from me is whatever alarm he’s using to wake up, wakes me up. I can hear the vibration. It’s annoying. I don’t complain about it because I feel like i already complain. Plus my cat wakes me up around that time most of the time anyway but I just want to try to sleep in on my days off. He also keeps allowing his trash to fall in front of my unit. Maintenance has been better at making sure it’s picked up. I usually say something if they haven’t picked it up in a couple of days.

apartment living sucks. And I’ll probably get stuck living in one forever because I need a partner to help afford to buy a house. Haha

 

I just made things harder for myself and went the long way around from the bank to target. Literally next parking lot over and I didn’t realize it

 

Spilled my lunch in the sink. Now I have to remake it all over again.

 

I'm really scared for my health right now and I've been sitting here crying until I can't anymore

 

Literally have the worst luck. My apartments need to do work that was suppose to be done a year ago with my parking space (there’s drains or some shit right next to it), so I can’t use my spot until further notice. The spot they’re letting me use is far, has two people on each side instead of one. Spots are small so not sure how I’m going to even get into my car. I couldn’t get into my car last unit I lived in because the didn’t know how to fucking park and would park over my line. and idk how I’m going to carry my groceries or other items. Literally so many issues since moving here. I think I’m just going to move my car in front of the office after hours and park there when they’re open since I have no choice really

 

I got yelled at by my boss today for.....going to the bathroom. I work from home but they can see when I log in/out and what jobs I have coming up next. One of my jobs was marked stat but my period decided to start so I logged out to go take of that bc I don't feel like bleeding all over myself but apparently that's not ok and I should have done the job that would have taken me 20 mins and THEN went to the bathroom. Like wtf??? then they insinuated I was lying bc I apparently didn't take long enough so they thought I didn't actually go to the bathroom. Next time I'll make sure to take a picture of my bloody underwear as proof. Fucking assholes.

 

Omg! So you took too long of a break but then also not long enough???

 

Apparently lmao then they told me I should only leave if it’s an emergency but like that was kinda urgent so???? When I was hired they encouraged us to take breaks but I guess a bathroom break is unacceptable unless it’s the exact right amount of time whatever that is lol

 

When you try to train someone at work and they don’t listen. Like you tell them “don’t do/don’t worry about -that-“ and they say “it’s ok I got it”. Then you have to repeat yourself because they’re not suppose to be doing what they were doing. Also this is not the only time you’ve told them this, among other things in which they respond “I know”. Frustrated face emoji

it’s like did you not hear me/you keep saying you know but I have to keep reminding you..
I don’t even know how to respond without sounding rude. Some people can’t follow the most simple instructions

 

My company refuses to let me go down to 4 days a week even though I never have work on Sundays and it is so fucking annoying. I log in to work and am lucky if I have an hour of work. Then they expect me to wait around all day to see if I have more later. So I have to check my emails every 30 mins to see if there is any work (but don't get paid for waiting around). Today everyone went to my grandma's for lunch so I said fuck it and went. Right after I finish eating my team lead said I need to log in bc there's work available. Took me 15 mins to get home only to log in and there's no work available!! It's so frustrating bc this has happened every single week for the entire year I've worked there. I feel if I have no work, I should either get the day off or they should pay me for my time of waiting around. I just feel like I can't may any plans on Sundays bc I never know if they'll make me log back in or not. And every time they have made me log back in, it's for like 30 mins of work so it is completely pointless. I would like to be able to actually make plans but I can't on the off chance I have to log back in.

 

Yeah you should 100% get paid for the waiting around time. If you work at a big company, it seems like 50% of the time you're just waiting around

 

yes sounds like they basically have you on call but not paying for it. not right at all. me personally when my employers comes back and tries to call me in on my day off my go to trick is to 'sleep' thru the phone call. for you though it sounds like the best thing you could do is talk to them about it if you feel comfortable swinging that. employers are like shitty like that, once they feel like they can take advantage of you they dont stop.

 

Yeah I tried talking to my boss about it a few months ago and she basically just told me to deal with it or find another job sooo lol. I'm paid on production so she said since I'm not producing anything they won't pay me. I even asked about just going down to part time since the "benefits" we get for full time are shit anyway but they don't offer 32-hour schedules. It's either 28 or 40 hours and 28 would be tight financially so I feel like I have no choice but to just deal with it.

 

damn i might be wrong since im not very educated on labor laws that sounds kind of illegal. a lot of places do shit like that out of poor planning more then anything but that sounds like theres a lot of intent behind them stealing your time. i guess yea you could stick w it or if you dont care about the job that much call their bluff and see if they change their tune

 

how do they give you the option of 28 or 40 hours but the job itself doesn't have enough work to actually add up to either amount of hours it sounds like....so you can basically never get paid for that time?

That makes NO sense. Easier said than done, but definitely try to get out of there asap.

 

I was really excited when I got this job bc most companies in the field I work in only offer independent contractor positions, so this was the first time I'd be an actual employee and have benefits and not have to pay self employment tax but they are doing the same shit my old company did so I'm seeing zero benefit really. I've been looking for another job for the past few months but everyone pays shit. I honestly need to just make a complete career change but have no idea what I want to do.

 

I know I posted about this in some thread, but it always gets to me. Dude on hinge said if you think he’s being rude, he’s not- he’s just being sarcastic. HOW*DO*THESE*GUYS*NOT*SEE*THEYRE*LOW*KEY*VERBALLY*ABUSIVE! Major red flag every time I see that.

other current frustrations... in the past couple weeks I literally had a few people walk out in the middle of traffic and I had to slam on my breaks to not hit them. One lady laughed when I honked at her. And other guy got mad and waved his fist or whatever at me. One of my biggest fears is hitting someone on accident because they’re stupid and jumped in front of my car

 

My wife told me she wants a divorce. I'm now going to be a 38 year old dad of a 7 year old daughter splitting custody and coparenting.

Nothing happened in our relationship. She just one day stopped being in love with me. We did the couples therapy and such and I held up my end of the bargain and more in listening to what our therapist said about love languages to make sure I was above and beyond meeting all her asks but nothing ever changed on her end.

We haven't had any sort of physical relationship in a year and a half so the writing was on the wall but it sucks anyway. I still think she's an absolute 10 of 10 sexy beauty in the looks department so the rejection I've felt alone over the past years plus has destroyed my confidence.

I feel isolated. Trying to focus on my marriage and being a good dad I had deleted all my social media and became like a house maid the past year. One of her complaints to the therapist was that I didn't do enough around the house so I swear in the last year my wife hasn't had to wash a dish or do the laundry or take out the garbage even once...but it was all for nothing.

I just put a deposit down on a basement apartment about 10 minutes from the house that we own. I feel like I'm going backwards in life. We haven't told our daughter yet. We're waiting until after the holidays and my move out date is 1/14/22. I'm super depressed. For the first time in my life I called a psychiatrist and got prescribed a really low dosage of Prozac and I've been in the gym every night for the last 2 weeks.

I just struggle to imagine my life now and my heart is broken for myself and for my daughter when she finds out daddy is moving out and we won't all be together every day. I'm going to be a 38 year old dad with like 2 friends total who are both busy and married. How do I even start over? How do I even go about making friends?? Idk I feel like I've developed a bit of social anxiety around new people I never had growing up.

 

I feel like I need to respond to this. I am so, so sorry. My heart quite literally breaks for you. You are in the exact same situation and literally the same age as my father was when it happened to him. He was utterly devastated and did everything he could think of at the time to try and make my mother happy and keep the family together, but it was all for naught and her mind wouldn’t be changed. I now have a lot of age and context to understand things a little more clearly, but in the midst of the chaos of it all nothing could make it feel better or be better. I was 12 when it happened to my dad and he told me the same thing you just said. “I feel like I’m going backwards.” He moved into his parents’ house (they had recently passed away and the house was left to their kids to manage so he stayed there for several months) and he later told me that that first night after he moved out and back into his parents’ house that once felt like home, he just laid there in bed staring up at the ceiling wondering what the hell happened. He cried a lot and often. He was deeply lonely and depressed. Gained a lot of weight. Ate his feelings. Leaned on us (a little too heavily most of the time) for moral support and tried as hard as he could to “move on” in whatever way the world expected him to.

And he did, eventually, in a way. He hated being away from us as often as he was. We stayed with him on weekends but he cried every time we had to go back home because it meant he would be alone again. Thinking of those times breaks my heart for you because I know that pain deep inside of you that you will feel every time you have to say goodbye to your daughter again. No, your life will not ever be the same again and I am so sorry to say that. You will lose much. Family, friends, a way of life. It’s a horrible, outsized reset button. So I’ll also say this.

My dad eventually started dating again (a little too soon if I were to be quite honest) and managed to find a way to afford a house of his own near us. It was a little ranch, but it worked. Over time it got easier, but the pain never truly went away. It just won’t. That’s the way of things I suppose. You knew your wife for a long time in a way no one else does or probably ever will because your relationship between the two of you is unique to you and only you. That’s something that can’t be replicated. In any case, my dad got remarried the summer after I graduated. It was not easy on me or my two sisters. We cried a lot too and the entire experience changed us irrevocably, in ways that haunt me. Sometimes I have the thought “who would I have become if this had never happened? Who was I going to be?” but I have learned in therapy that, while those thoughts are okay to have, they’re also not helpful to me. Life only moves forward, no matter how hard, how badly we wish it otherwise. My father has been married to his new wife now for almost as long as he was once married to my mother, which is a strange thought. You will find that things begin to blur like that. My dad has found happiness in watching his kids grow up, get married, and have kids of their own; grandchildren who know him as Papa and know little to nothing of the pain he endured to get there. It means the world to him now because he knows what it is to lose.

You have a very long path ahead of you and right now it is very dark. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself as best as you can and always do everything in your power to be there for your little girl. She is going to need you. Pay close attention to how she’s doing emotionally because this is going to change her. If eventually you feel she needs to talk to someone, do not hesitate and push for it. Be gentle about it, but try your best to make her understand you are just looking out for her. Make sure you are doing the same for yourself. My father made the mistake of avoiding it for years and it was a disservice to him and to us. The ramifications of divorce are not something we talk about enough.

I don’t know you, but if you ever need to chat with someone you feel like might understand please feel free to reach out. I want to tell you that it will be okay in the end and you’ll survive and that survival will make you stronger and you’ll be able to thank yourself for surviving some day, but right now those are all just words, words, words, words. You are in a dark place, my friend. Don’t ever feel the need to diminish that reality. Hold on to the people you love and take it one small step at a time when it’s all you can do. Get out of bed. Put your clothes on. Eat some food. Take a shower. Get in your car. Go to work. Do that next right thing as often as possible.

I once read grief described as a window stuck open on a cold winter’s day. You try your hardest to shut it but it won’t budge so you hold yourself close, batting warmth against the cold. Time passes and you find that you’re able to budge the window a little so it shuts ever so slightly. Some more time passes and you just keep moving it bit by bit until it becomes routine. One day, long after, you look around and notice that the window is shut and the room is warm again, but you don’t quite know how you got there and so you wonder what ever became of it.