Mental Health Thread • Page 39

I've felt pretty miserable this past week. I don't know what's going on, but it's been awful. I haven't really enjoyed anything, I've been in just a terrible mood and it's definitely affecting my communication with my girlfriend. I've just been so short and have been in such shitty moods. I can't even pinpoint why I'm feeling like this. I should be happy, things have been going well, but it still feels like I'm missing something.

 

I think I dissociated today. That was new.

 

I'm really bad at keeping up with this thread (sorry). But, does anyone else never feel like anything they do is good enough? Like, I'll do stuff for friends or family and always feel I didn't meet expectations, I'll do stuff for myself like make music or film and I never feel it's good enough...

 

Yep. I pretty much always feel like a failure

 

First post in this thread.

I've been feeling down on myself for a while now, maybe since the beginning of 2015 when I quit the band I used to be in. My bandmates were in other bands with each other and it made me feel uncomfortable/jealous because that band was the only project I had going for myself, so I split it off. Then I went to music school for a semester and floundered there because I felt so behind the curve when it came to reading sheet music and understanding music theory and singing in pitch. My percussion professor was a biggot too and made me very uncomfortable. I transferred out to a different school after one semester, but I felt like I lost the desire to go to college anymore after doing it full time for six years now. On another note, I've gone out on a handful of dates this year and haven't been able to make anything stick and it just gets so draining after a while.

I'm at the point now where I've really been losing the desire to do much of anything. I just wake up and go through the motions. I hate meeting new people because I'm so cynical and afraid that they'll be bigots as well. I don't feel comfortable living at home because my mom will ocassionally try shoving her republican and catholic view points down my throat and it makes me feel uneasy all the time. And seemingly every month I confront myself and my thought process and try to understand myself better because I was diagnosed with Asperger's at a young age and I often wonder what my life would be like had I not had Asperger's.

I know I just posted a lot and it seems like a huge ramble and it's probably jumbled up a bit, but I just don't feel like I'm in a good place at all right now mentally and I wanted to get some stuff off my chest.

 

I apologize for not being in this thread lately. I've been sinking myself into work because I've been feeling like depression's gonna hit soon.

Just dropping by and wishing everyone the best (regardless of how little that affects anyone).

@Deathco_019 hi and welcome! Hope we can talk about stuff soon.


Ps love this
It's the little things

 

First day back at school this semester. Feeling pretty vulnerable. I want to try to actually make my own friends this semester but it's pretty overwhelming. It's at least nice to get out of my apartment a little more

 

Today is my last first day of school... I'm mostly afraid of my thesis class and my pitch for that this Friday. A little terrified but trying my hardest to spin that anxiety in a positive light (I'm not nervous, just excited!).

Good luck to everyone starting this week! Take it all one class, one assignment at a time. Remember to breathe and take care of yourself.

 

I actually had the best weekend. Went for drinks to celebrate my best friends getting engaged, went and saw Fall Out Boy and Biffy Clyro at a massive outdoor arena, in perfect weather, met a great girl and organised a date with her next weekend.

It was exactly what I needed to help get me out of the funk I've been in for a while. Actually nice to have got some of my confidence back with talking to girls.

So keep your head up everyone, you never know when something good will come around and help sort you out, even if it is just for a while.

 

First post in this thread. I've been battling a bout of depression for the past year and a half or so, mostly stemming from a fall out I had with my social circle that left me pretty isolated. One result is that I have a lot more social anxiety than I used to, but I also want to find a new group of friends, a bit hard to reconcile the two. I have individual friends but they have different social circles from one another.

I've also found that people are very closed off at my college (UCSD) and the few times I have tried to reach out to people I've been either ignored or pushed away. I withdrew midway through winter quarter to get professional help and have been on leave since but I'm going back in the fall. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but I have so many worries. Even at home, I still have days where I don't overpower my depression and just sit inside and do nothing all day.

 

I live in SD as well if you guys need to talk!

 

For those of you who've seen a therapist, what do you do when you're there? Granted I've only seen her a few times now but all she has really been doing is asking me questions and taking notes. Also my first time wasn't really a "session" and this second real one followed the first one pretty closely. Is she maybe still just trying to learn about me? She did set me up for some group therapy which I'm scared of but also looking forward to. Just curious to see if this kind of all that therapy is?

 

Basically, it's all what you put in which sounds so cliche

 

Mine did that the 1st probably 3 sessions. I haven't really had a great experience. I've recently decided not to go back bc I feel like we are talking in circles about the same issues (my bipolar). Like 10 sessions in and we haven't even talked about my assault which is a big part of why I am in therapy. They say you have to click with your therapist in order for it to work. I settled for her bc I was tired of trying to find one.

 

Yeah I'm trying to just trust the process and let her ask whatever she feels like she needs to ask about. In the end I guess it's still nice to have some trauma and feelings validated. It's still free through school for a little while so I'm gonna keep giving it some chances. That's interesting about clicking with them though, they are very nice but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should try someone else. Thanks

 

No problem! YES if it's free you stick with it lol I really hope you end up getting the right care you need.

 

I got dumped today over such a stupid fight. Like really officially dumped after three years. We've taken breaks but idk.

I'm sad.

 

That sucks

 

Like I'm not surprised yknow? But it doesn't make it easier. I'm just trying to throw myself into schoolwork as a distraction. It's selfish of me but I kind of can't believe this happened during my first week of school. Of all times.

Sigh, I'm sorry for ranting, I'm just a little unsure of how to handle it all haha

 

We tell ourselves it's not ok to grieve breakups when it's perfectly ok to do so. I feel that needs to change but I know it's kinda ingrained in us to be strong or whatever. We should really be able to have a mourning period and try to come to terms with our situation. So annoying.

 

I definitely mourned for an entire summer when I broke up with my ex after we had a huge argument on her birthday. It was quite the summer.

 

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Thanks, I definitely won't hesitate to contact you if I need help or someone to talk to.

 

No, that is definitely not the only type of therapy out there. If you do a google search I'm sure you'd find far more than I can list.

Personally, I've been to therapists similar to the one you describe and I found it pretty unhelpful. I would advocate cognitive behavioral therapy; that's what I've found most successful. It is very logic-based and grounded in reality. Normally I'm assigned some sort of homework to do before my next session, and that is the first thing we check in about. The homework could be any number of things designed to contradict whatever negative thoughts you are having. He usually starts off by checking in with me about how the homework went; if I struggled completimg it, why and how could our plan adjust for me to be more successful? Then he checks in with me about how my week went. If it went well we come up with more ideas to build on that success. If it went poorly, we try to combat the negative thoughts I was having by analyzing how truthful or realistic they are. If you believe the thoughts are distorted, it can rob them of some of their power. Sometimes we even take active steps during the session to get things moving in the right direction. For instance I struggle with motivation, so we might schedule some events into my Google Calendar with alerts to remind myself of them.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is basically the idea that our behaviors influence our emotions and vice-versa. Time is divided between changing behaviors and changing thought patterns in order to fuel a positive feedback loop (e.g. A behavioral change makes you happier so you feel more capable to change other problematic behaviors, which makes you happier still, etc.) and stop negative feedback loops.

It's a lot about viewing things on a broader, more balanced scale. For example, if I'm upset with my girlfriend and think, "she doesn't care about me", I could then consider what's evidence supports and what contradicts that and try to craft a more balanced thought. Most negative thoughts have some degree of distortion to them, and being able to specify how and why they are distorted can help to rob them of their power.

Feel free to message me with anymore questions you may have!!

 

yep. especially when others make you feel bad for it. "get over it!" "omg it's been like 3 months why are you still upset" like um...people need to take their time? especially the longer and more serious the relationship is.

 

I have been seeing a therapist for about 6 months now and I have to say that it's something I look forward to every week. Our sessions have evolved from her holding the reins to me just speaking freely on what's been weighing heavily on my mind since the last time I saw her and her helping me connect dots. I'll be speaking about something and she'll kind of interject with an observation of a reocurring theme that she sees is continuing to bother me. And then we'll dig deeper into that. It did begin with her just asking me questions to get to know me and my thought process though, which I find reasonable. I got lucky that the therapist I was first assigned to (still in college) was the one that suited me. Many others have to go through a few therapists to find the one for them or to realize that they're not meant for that kind of therapy.


This kind of therapy works best for me because:

A.) I prefer one-on-one interaction. Group therapy was a no for me from the start.
B.) I have issues with people who are inconsistent so consistently having someone I can say literally anything to, even if I have to pay her, adds much structure and satisfaction to my life. Aka I have no friends.
C.) I tend to have a lot of thoughts that are jumbled and saying them out loud to my therapist helps me clarify, organize, and prioritize what is actually bothering me. I have learned a lot about myself through this process.

At some point for about 3 months or so I was also on antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication and it definitely helped me out as well.