Saves The Day Band • Page 65

I definitely get that second paragraph. People deserve the chance to heal and improve. And though I think Chris shouldn't be able to come back into the music scene, I really hope he gets help and truly moves on from these behaviors. I'm really into Super Smash Bros and last year a pro-player got outed for shit and I don't think he should be let back into that community, but he ended up attempting suicide because no one would hire him to even just do office work after it. So he wasn't given the option to actually move forward. I don't want Chris to end up like that, I hope he stays safe, but I think he needs to stay away from the spotlight and live a quiet life, and I hope he is allowed that. It's for the best STD stays dead now though.

And on forgiveness, it's one of those things where I don't know if I can forgive him, but I don't think it matters if I can. The victims are all that matters, and whether or not they choose to forgive, I hope above all else that they can heal and move on from what Chris did to them. No one deserves what he did.

 

Hopefully, everyone can forgive anyone for making mistakes. We are all human and it’s in our nature to fail. Comparing atrocities is not the real issue, Murder vs Rape vs Stealing vs (insert wrongs), we have to be more understanding and less quick to judge. Chris admitted he was wrong, he apologized, now do we accept the apology?

 

No one deserves to be taken advantage of like this, ever. Ever. We all don’t deserve anything we are given or shorted or stripped of. We have to stop this idolization of bands/artists to the level that we crave their recognition and just appreciate what they do and how they help us be better people and get through our day and our life

 

It's....not on any of us to accept the apology. The apology shouldn't be for us. At least, if it were a real and sincere apology it wouldn't be.

That statement he released yesterday though? That statement was for us. So he'd get this exact kind of reaction from people. People saying "we have to be more understanding and less quick to judge". He abused a real life human being. His "healing" and his ability to "move on" is the very last thing anyone should be concerned about in this situation.

 

So you only care about people conditionally, that’s pretty bent man

 

he should absolutely get help so he doesn’t hurt anyone else, that is one level on which i am concerned about his healing

 

I care about the person he abused. And I care that he makes amends to that person and that person alone. Other than that, I just care that he goes away.

I don't concern myself with forgiving people who abused people other than myself, no. What's really "bent" is taking the position of "Why oh why won't people just consider the feelings of the abuser for once!" That's some real wild shit right there.

 

Everyone needs to care about everyone.

 

and I imagine "All Lives Matter" too, huh

 

I never said the crap you said

 

this is a no from me dog

 

I hope you all never make mistakes in your life cuz that level of justice is mob level and not going to work in your favor

 

I wish Chris Conley a very go away forever you pathetic abuser

 

you know we're not talking about him, like, accidentally forgetting to return a library book for five years or something right?

 

I guess I should clarify: I don't sympathize with Chris at all. I'm not concerned for his sake, rather I'm just a person who wants everyone to have the chance to live. The victims are all that is important in this situation. As far as I go, I don't care whether or not Chris heals and moves on, it has nothing to do with me. But for his sake and his sake alone, I hope he is able to move forward. I don't know if that makes sense really. But I am not sympathizing with him. Just recognizing his humanity and extending the same bedrock level of caring I give to anyone else.

 

That’s and insultingly dense and pointless comment, Anthony

 

Yeah I just don't think it's helpful or productive or necessary to be talking about how we hope he finds healing and peace or whatever because he's not the one that matters at all in this situation.

Instead, trying saying "For the surivor's sake and the survivor's sake alone, I hope the survivor is able to move forward". Because they're the one who needs the support. The survivor is the one who might never be able to "move forward" from the abuse they suffered. That shit leaves permanent scars. Care about them, not about the one who hurt them.

 

.

 

I care about Chris and want him to live, just like I want you all to live and not kill yourself because you made a mistake

 

jesus christ who the fuck said they wanted him to kill himself??? truly wild comment here.

 

Anyway, the moral of the story is, feel free to feel wish the abuser well in all his future endeavors privately if you really must but please keep it to yourself.

 

Careful on that high horse

 

I'll be real man, there's no reason to start arguing with people. Especially on this site. I get where you're coming from, but everyone is right to say that the victims should be the only priority. I agree with you on a human level, and I even said a lot of things you're advocating for, but it's also good to take a step back and think about the context. I don't think anyone here wants Chris to die or end up unable to find a new path and end up homeless as a result or anything. But Chris shouldn't be prioritized at all. And whether or not he's able to improve shouldn't involve us at all.

 

let me tell you pal, if i had a penny for every time i saw some dork say this to someone who is just trying to make sure this website is a safe space for survivors of abuse i'd be able to quit my job forever, you're not original or smart or clever for saying it