(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 206

Updated the Okcupid account. Maybe one day I'll be interesting or attractive enough to get an actual date from it and not just a string of messages that go nowhere lol.

 

What would y'all do if you have enjoyed hanging out with a girl about once a week for the last couple months and want to find out if she likes you but are afraid of getting hardcore rejected/the act of asking might end the friendship?

 

^ what do you guys normally do when you hang out? Could you try hanging out more than once a week and ask her out on a date. Maybe say " I'd really like to take you out to dinner" or something date-like and see how that goes if you normally don't

Does she give any romantic type vibe? Flirty? Does she discuss other dudes? Do you text a lot?

 

Yeah, we text quite a bit and she used to discuss other guys once in a while, but she's been surprisingly quiet about it recently. Plus she goes to events with me and meets my shitty friends and stuff. The signs are all there, I think she's just as guarded as I am, haha.

 

You should prolly just ask her on a date like kassie said. That's all you can do really. I know it'll be kinda nerve racking, but otherwise you'll never know for sure.

 

How long after hanging out with someone regularly (and hooking up) is normal to question where it's going hah

 

12 hours

 

Gotta go for it man! Ask her out to dinner or something. You could take the blunt approach. "Wanna go out on a date some time?" Then at least you're much more likely to get a straight answer. It's all you can do to find out. Be honest and upfront.

As for rejection, if it happens. I always say this but a situation only becomes awkward if you let it be. It's on both how you and her decide to react. I didn't get weirded out or end friendships after I rejected someone unless they actually got creepy (which has only happened once - he was really insistent on me trusting him with every detail of my personal life for some reason lmao. He was pressuring me. we now don't talk, lol). It's how you treat her that matters. I tend to value friendships, so I don't end them unless it becomes unsafe/uncomfortable or they've become very rude. Respect her wishes whatever they may be. If she rejects, and you take it really hard, don't blame her for it or make her feel bad. Realize it's no one's fault.

Good luck.

 

Thanks you everyone. She's on a business trip next week, but after that I will approach her!

 

About a month and a half. You'll know where you stand as it relates to the person, then you can ascertain where they stand.

 

I guess it's just like if all they are wanting is a friends with benefits thing I wish I could know now so that I don't get attached and such

 

I cut to the chase after about a month or more. Could explain why I'm single so maybe I shouldn't be giving advice lol

 

I moved in with someone after a week so I'm clearly not qualified to give advice on this one.

 

I admire you for going for it. I'd never have the balls to do that.

 

The entire reason I moved to Baltimore was because I fell in love, visited a woman and then decided to stay after I spent a week here, so...

 

@Laura says to just ask her to move in with you.

 

Yeah I know that's what I need to do, it's just that I don't want to let her down too hard. Also after being single so long part of me feels like where do I get off turning someone down, you know?

 

Being led on is worse than being upfront with her about it.

 

Agreed. If I'm even considering breaking things off with someone, I tell them right away because of how many times I've been burned by people not courteous to do the same for me.

And who cares if you've been single for a while? If you're not into her, you're not into her.

 

Well, in this case, it's about her not you. Nobody really gets off turning someone down, it's about showing respect and honesty to the other person.

 

I'll be honest folks, I do miss cuddling.

 

i cuddle up with my pillows pretty nicely

 

It isn't the same as the warmth of someone you care about. Jeez. Haha.

 

my dog is my current source of cuddles. i could honestly just use a genuine, platonic, "it's going to be okay" hug most days.

 

I cuddle with a Funshine Bear Care Bear. Mostly cause my mattress/pillows kinda suck so I put my head on him to save my neck from hurting. He's being used as a head rest currently actually.

That's probably more squashing than cuddling tho