(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 193

I definitely got unhealthily jealous in my last relationship cause it was pretty toxic/unhealthy in itself and totally destroyed my trust. I'm trying really hard to change those habits, you all seem to have it together so much

 

With jealousy, I think it helps if there is a partner that can be empathetic. If they see it as something of an annoyance, then they won't help in any way and that links up with other insecurities, creating a mess of unacknowledged emotions. Anyway, rest assured, I do not have it together. I live with my ex fiancée, I can't find an apartment, I still have to pay for everything and ,on a day to day basis, I oscillate between hating everyone and everything and wishing that I had a better handle on interpersonal relationships. So, yeah.

 

Not to change topic but I had no idea plans were off for your marriage. Sorry to hear, hope all is moving in healthier direction for you both soon!

 

Life happens. But, thank you for the well-wishes.

 

Now sis you know nobody in this thread has it together!

 

icrieverynight

send help

 

reuniting with my girlfriend in a couple hours, i am so excited

 

hahahah. well regarding jealousy you all do!
Teach me your ways. Cause seriously. Everything you all said I was like YEAH!!! but then in practice I know I wasn't like that. Then again my ex gave me a thousand and one constant reasons not to trust him so it turned me into this paranoid, untrusting jealous person and I don't want to be that person in future relationships.

 

toxic relationships can seriously turn you into someone you don't recognize or like. I hope you find someone waaaay better that makes you happy and I'm sure you'll be great!

 

this is the sweetest thank you boo

 

I think there's two things to jealousy: as Dom said, part of it is your partner. If they're empathetic to it, if they're supportive of the fact that you're jealous, that goes a long way. My girlfriend identifies as polyamorous but I am not, and she decided to be monogamous because I wouldn't handle a poly relationship. Every step of the way, she's been reassuring and empathetic. She would give me reasons of things that showed how much she cared about me that I was glossing over or straight missing.

The second thing, and I think that in most cases -- maybe not in relationships where one partner gives the other a lot of reasons to be jealous -- identifying that jealousy is a reaction within your control helps. I don't know how I got there but at some point I started recognizing that jealousy was my reaction to things and that when I was feeling jealous I was also feeling super possessive. For instance, if we were at some beer event (my industry that I'm in) and she was talking to a guy I know fits the mold of what she is attracted to and she would appear to be interested in him (via body language) it used to make me super jealous. At some point it clicked for me that she's allowed to be attracted to other people and allowed to enjoy conversations about topics she's interested in. I can't be mad or upset or angry that she's having a good discussion. She's never cheated on me -- never come close -- so I started to recognize that my reaction to seeing her interact with other people is just that: my reaction. I control how I react to things and i needed to do it better.

We've only gotten stronger from that point. I'm sorry for this ramble and if this didn't make sense, I've had a few beers with friends to celebrate a new job.

 

My ex was jealous and was convinced I had a crush on Zac from Ghost Adventures lol. I think men that made him feel insecure he just like projected that even if they weren't my type at all. But he swore my "eyes changed" when Zac came on screen like omg just let me watch my terrible ghost shows in peace thanx

 

you should have told your ex that you actually had a crush on all the ghosts on that show just to really have him tripping.

 

Hahahahah.

And yeah you make a good point @bigmike
I guess it was hard for me to see it that way because he DID give me sooo many reasons to not trust him. I was paranoid about every girl because so many times, my gut reaction was right. He was never, ever honest with me and it fucked me up.

 

Lol not even ghosts like floating orbs and "feelings." The best episode is when Zac gets "possessed" and is walking around like singing and rambling. What a masterpiece that show is. They used to have weekends where they'd show Ghost Adventures and then during commercials I could flip to Diners, Drive ins, and Dives. Perfect block of television.

Oddly my ex never accused my of liking guy fieri

 

That show is so great. My sisters spent the summer watching that and I always somehow be sitting on the couch watching it with them. I'm a sucker for those ghost shows and I can't remember which one came to my town.

also everyone should be scared of fieri because he can steal anyone he likes. He is the boss.

 

YOOOOO

 

I made this my home screen because I SERIOUSLY need the constant reminder lol

Wait there's no way to post a picture from mobile!
Let me try

http://i63.tinypic.com/vpytzs.jpg

 

Sure there is. To post a picture from a link, turn the phone sideways, click the camera icon, and paste the direct link to the image. To upload a picture from your phone, click "More Options", turn the phone sideways, click the paperclip icon, and choose your picture

 

Ohh thanks @ChaseTx! Did not think to turn my phone sideways.

Let's try it again.

 

also if you want to upload via internet use imgur not tinypic, always works much better

 

Update: We have a date tonight. I did find out yesterday he's a little young for me which isn't my usual taste, but I'm still hopeful.

 

Good luck @Laura ! Hoping it goes well.

 

Thanks! You as well with your hundred dates this week.

 

Started sleeping with my ex. I don't foresee a world in which this ends well.