Accountability in Music • Page 462

Damn, seeing people I actually personally know (or at least have met) in here with the whole Sleep On It thing is wild. SOI was like 'the band from our scene who made it' (just the other day in my fb memories was a post about them signing to EVR) who we kinda looked up to in a way. This is all pretty disheartening to see that they're not good people, ugh.

 

What's worse is that the Chicago scene hasn't learned from past mistakes. Pete Wentz dated an underage girl!

 

we probably should rethink the necessity of a genre music where the whole point of the lyrics is feeling aggrieved/wronged by women

double that when the members of the bands are like, 25+ years old

 

That's why I stopped listening to a lot of it. I can only take so much whining about unrequited love and how it's all the woman's fault.

 

Sleep on it fucking sucked from day one. Sickening that they had such a large platform and support from so many bands in the scene. Which is turning out to be unsurprising, as it feels like there’s now allegations against every shitty pop punk that’s ever existed. It’s time for that scene to burn.

 

i just happy mayday parade has been safe all these year and i hope it stays that way. if they go down my faith in music is over

 

I empathize with wanting your favorite musicians to not be monsters, but this...is probably not the best attitude for you or anyone to have

 

true ya i know

 

Remember when Alex made r**e jokes on Twitter?

Alex Babinski (PVRIS) apologises for offensive Tweets | News | Killyourstereo.com

 

Also not to burst your bubble but I fully have a casual acquaintance that the mayday parade dude pressured into making out with him on warped in like 2008 when she was 15/16.

 

The problem truly is that this scene is corroded and full of pathetic, predatory men who have been conditioned to see themselves as the slighted main characters of some cinematic story. It can’t be reformed because that rotten heart is the core of the scene. The only way to “save” it is to destroy it and build a new scene that isn’t centered around these mother fuckers. I just don’t have the patience for it any more. We’ve been having the same conversation around the same sphere of men for years and years and nothing fucking changes because at the end of the day, 90% of the people participating don’t want it to change. I hate to sound defeatist but I’m just tired.

 

Realistically, there isn't a band in alt music that was active in the same spheres as these "bad" bands that wasn't at the very least willing to look the other way.

That's why the discourse around "cancel culture" misses the entire mark so badly. The entire discourse has to shift. Behaviors have been normalized and considered socially acceptable forEVER that cause incredible amounts of pain. It's not about hunting people for being evil, it's about rewriting the social code.

 

damn

 

The guitarist from sleep on it added me on Facebook because he heard that I was part of that “safer scene” thing and I think they had either wanted to work with us or be affiliated or something, because they held that cause close to heart. it seems every time they’re brought up, they’re either doing or near people doing sketchy things

 

I think we also need to find a way to have the conversation with young impressionable people, namely girls, so they understand that the band members they look up to are not to be idolized and that they are people who can do harm. Not to say that the onus is on the girls, but the more they understand that these dudes headlining shitty 500-cap clubs are not these rockstars who claim to care about you, the better.

 

UPDATE: Sleep On It are now in the alumni section of EVR: Artists - Equal Vision Records

 

Yeah, there are SO many cultural things that have to get addressed that all contribute to the way young girls are not adequately taught to see these older men as people who should not be speaking to them that way in the first place

The second prong is then creating an environment that favors the vulnerable party so they feel safe to come forward when these boundaries get shattered

This is not the fault of the girls, ever, and it's why so many of them will say "this felt wrong but I didn't want to say anything/didn't feel like it was bad enough to say something/wanted him to like me/etc". These girls feel this way because the culture supports it and I hate it.

 

well i was told their contract was up

 

That dude appears to be in MAKEOUT now. Must be making a career out of being in bands with shitty pop punk bros. Maybe he'll join Set If Off next.

 

Take this as you will, but when I was a sophomore in HS I attended Four Year Strong's RODT tour (fuck that band too, I was younger and relatively ignorant when I supported them, I'm sorry) and when I was in line the guitar player Jake spent a good 30 minutes talking to a girl who was maybe a few years older than me and she looked pretty uncomfortable. He seemed pretty ancy to get her number/invite her to the aftershow party. Very weird.

 

I think we also need to promote and foster a culture where women in punk bands is seen as more normal than something uncommon, and then in turn show these girls that it’s not all shitty abusive men out there in the music scene, that there ARE women out there who speak out in song about the issues pop punk fans face with dudes in these bands (or just speak to things they can truly relate to). We need to work on growing a culture where they see people on stage like them who they can relate to instead of a pop punk dude screaming about his ex being terrible or making the crowd uncomfortable in any way.

 

reading the news post thread about SOI is massively depressing in a massively depressing day

 

I was going to spend time being upset until I looked at their history and realized I have no desire to engage with that kind of person. Moreover, it's a fool's errand.

Some people find comfort in cynicism, like the world's most cowardly security blanket. It's easier to say "that's just life" than it is to actually stand up for something. There's no call to action when you've decided nothing can ever change so why bother.

 

I normally don't follow this thread cause it just makes me depressed & stressed, but today really feels like a day to sit with these uncomfortable feelings and deal with it.

It's starting to feel like there might actually be change soon. People in my local scene are actually having discussions about the SOI/NeverKept situation, when they'd usually just ignore it, and I actually feel empowered to drop toxic bands from my life.

I'm uncomfortable, but also closer to finding peace.

 

Oh, just realized who that poster was. Siiigggggghhh.