Mental Health Thread • Page 320

The worst part of this for me isn’t the isolation, it’s seeing people not taking this seriously or deciding they’re bored with it so it’s time for things to go back to “normal”. I am not going to be comfortable seeing friends, going to shows, eating out, etc for a LONG time even after we get this under control. So help me if I get sick and die because someone I crossed paths with in the grocery store had to get their haircut or go to the beach.

 

Gotta Love still being awake 5 hours after going to bed lol I envy people who can just lay down in bed and pass out instantly so much

 

it really fucking sucks.

 

I feel you. I was up until 5am yesterday and couldn’t sleep at all last night, wound up napping midday but shit sucks.

 

Realised just how much less tolerant I am of the people that like to be shitty to others for fun/likes on here when I'm in a real bad place, my block list has tripled in the last month lol. I really don't need that negativity in my life right now.

 

i think the first time in maybe weeks (or months?) that I was actually able to start feeling something again. Feel like I've been faking it for a while now. i felt really horrible this week and was just drained physically, mentally and emotionally so I took a break from work but I think it allowed me to finally start flushing out the bad somehow. I've started enjoying music again instead of just having sounds in my ears to not let dread fill up that silence/empty space.

i mostly lurk here, and only post when something nice happens. i found out it's less therapeutic for me to write while i'm bummed out, but it does help me reading posts here and knowing i'm not alone so i hope people keep sharing their stories. appreciate it a lot and i hope y'all feel better.

and a lot of very frustrating opinions out there right now. it's so hard not to feel frustrated and disappointed

 

My doctor prescribed me a sleep med and for the first time I can remember I actually slept through the night. So happy I want to cry

 

I guess this is mental health related. My care job, the state is testing all residents and staff for covid. If anyone is positive (guessing positive asymptomatic since no one has shown symptoms and we isolate everyone that has returned from ER), they’re locking down 14 days, 12 hour shifts. You literally have to return to the facitilty and isolate there. This increases my anxiety so much because no one wants to be isolated there plus the place is dated so it doesn’t give off a clean feel or appearance no matter how well you clean. My boss is letting me bring my cat if it comes down to it because I have no one to take care of him

Edit: I’m also suppose to go back to my other job real soon

 

I miss normal life so much

 

I'd like to believe I've been making progress on not being so anxious, but I'm not sure the physical issues have abated much which just makes me feel anxious. i have an appointment with a psychiatrist to get a prescription to handle my anxiety, but that's not until the middle of June.

Part of me is still considering going to stay with my parents for a little while, but i worry about catching corona while on an airplane and then giving it to my parents.

Just gonna keep on trying to relax and hope that reducing my anxiety lessens the physical issues. i miss how things used to be for me before the anxiety took the fuck over.

 

i feel very weird just coming in here and liking posts. i hope yall know they are support/"i am here for you" likes.

i don't really post in here because i hate committing my feelings to text or something so permanent because that means i can reflect on them later. im really struggling with quarantine sending me back into old habits. i was on such a hot streak with my routine before this and now with all this extra time im slipping into a much less productive state.

in two weeks i get back in classes (online obv) to finish my degree though. hoping that's the catalyst to get back on track in some other areas.

 

Things have been really hard lately. suicide ideation at an all time high

 

i have like a mountain of love for you amber! i only have a small idea of what's going on for you right now but i always welcome talking to you about anything

 

Struggling with this too. I wish you all the best. I really do.

 

My best friend got in a serious car accident last week and today, I found out that he was dead for 8 minutes and had a stroke on the way to the hospital so the right side of his body is paralyzed, on top of his other injuries. I’m just devastated about this and I don’t know how to process all this. He’s more than a friend, he’s basically my brother because we’re that close. I’m beyond thankful he’s still alive but it breaks my heart this is happening to him. Plus, I can’t go see him due to COVID-19 so that makes it worse.

 

My heart wants to give up on dating. Every time I think about going on a date or even dating my BDD gets worse. The guy I’ve been chatting with is a terrible texter and so was my ex, and it just triggers bunch of negative thoughts and feelings. I never feel good enough. I never feel attractive enough. I shouldn’t feel this way at my age, but I do and it’s pathetic. Thinking about opening up about my trauma terrifies me because I never met someone who’d understand. I’m terrified to get close to someone again. I’m terrified for someone to even get to know me. There are simple questions that I’m not ready to answer. My gut tells me I’m suppose to suffer here on earth. My gut has always been right. A large part of me wants to fall asleep and never wake up.

 

I had a breakdown last night. After a fight, I went in my car at 2AM and drove down the highway for an hour. I feel empty.

 

This pandemic really shows just how much I fucked up my life and distanced myself too much from everyone I know.

 

I can't take much more of this lol

 

i'm feeling real low today.... took a shower and started thinking about what my suicide note would say. i wouldn't go through with it but ended up just shattered in tears. not sure whats wrong with me but everything feels bleak all the time now.

 

This time is good at really fucking people up. I know I'm still recovering from hitting a real nasty low a few weeks ago and it'll take some time yet. I mean i still just find myself bursting into tears at random moments.

Do your best not to isolate yourself and talk to friends and family if you can. I find reaching out has helped me and I'm definitely always around if you want to talk or just vent.

 

thanks homie.

 

Been kind of a down day mentally. Started out alright, but started feeling meh as I tried to take a nap. I haven't really been able to take a nap for a few weeks, just start to feel too anxious when I do. I can sleep at night fine, but the nap just doesn't seem possible anymore. I miss being able to take a nap now and then.

And i just sort of felt mentally exhausted like what am i gonna get out of life? Like life is too long and maybe I don't wanna be here for that long. Often I feel like I'm only around still because I don't want to hurt my family.

My physical issues stemming from anxiety seem to be getting better overall tho! I think my current hurdle is just not thinking about it all the time. It's all my brain has focused on over the past 3 weeks, so adjusting to not thinking about it all the time has been hard. Once I am not thinking about it, I think I'll be golden, though like today I expect a couple setbacks now and again.

 

Tw I guess?

these days it’s like every single thought leads back to suicide. Every logical path of thinking ends there and it’s frustrating to feel like I can’t say that or act on it because there’s a stigma, even though it would/does make sense to me. I definitely of course hope that one day I look back on this and think wow I can’t believe I almost did it then, what a dummy. But I don’t really think there’s any chance of that happening short of a lobotomy. Everything on every level sucks and I don’t want to deal with it. The only two reasons I haven’t is because of not having someone I trust to take care of my cat, and bc it would basically ruin my moms life and that gives me too much guilt.