Lyric-a-Day.fm • Page 13

What you gave me, I know you gave me
You remind me all the time
And how you hurt me and you don't see it
Again I am the child

And though you tell me that you love me
I can't feel it and I'm afraid to let you down
It's all or nothing, I fear that something's wrong
I'm tired of walking on eggshells so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I've abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I'm stronger than ever, you made me this way

 

Throw me in a landfill
Don't think about the consequences
Throw me in the dirt pit
Don't think about the choices that you make
Throw me in the water
Don't think about the splash I will create
Leave me at the altar
Knowing all the things you just escaped

Push me out to sea
On a little boat that you made
Out of the evergreen that you helped your father cut away
Leave me on the tracks
To wait until the morning train arrives
Don't you dare look back
Walk away
Catch up with the sunrise

'Cause this is torturous electricity
Between both of us and this is
Dangerous 'cause I want you so much
But I hate your guts
I hate you

 

On an empty panel floor I lie here
For communion just waiting for one more
But in the quiet empty hours of my afternoon
What am I supposed to do? What was I supposed to do?
But if I want them to, will they come to me soon?
Will they fluctuate between midnight and past noon?
Was kind of banking on a future that'd be involving you
But I couldn't ask this of you, I couldn't ask this I couldn't ask that

In this young night's sky there are pinhole lights
Find the shape of a harp and an arrowhead
Do I hear your tunes or acknowledge wounds
That I got from rubbing elbows with a sharpened edge?
But if I choose this too does it count as my move?
I can't drop my history just to become new
Now I'm swimming through the nothingness and the absolute
But I couldn't ask this of you, I couldn't ask this I couldn't ask this

 

Its a struggle every day, and it's a must that I grow.
Killing time by counting days, wearing thin with all this rain.
Every time I close my eyes all I see is misery.
I got to try to find the time to defeat this agony.
Sometimes I feel like giving up. The wind is blowing 9-5.
The storm is nothing but a front. This world is eating me alive.
But I know the worst has yet to come, it's a hard road but only fools take the easy way out.

 

You felt buried from the start
Tearing you apart
Constricting the free
Beating of your heart
I know your postcard would say
Wish I could stay wish I felt
The same way

 

it was easy
letting go of the minutes
in front of a tv
numbing the nerves in the seconds
with the color
fading into the darkness
and the paper
vacant of any expression,
collecting the dust.

it was in my head that you were with me
it was in my head that you could hear me

 

When the sun rested on olive shoulders
And the wind kissed the back of your neck
I would lay and absorb in the silence
In your language I haven’t learned yet

In the tune of the National Anthem
Sing the words while the corrugate burns
While our burning desires are crackling
We exist in the unified verse

When your eyes became focused on absence
How the shadows were cast on the plain
Under moonlight of middle November
I was shifting to stay in the frame

Oh, and I would eat from the tops of your branches
Spit it out, break a bow, and descend
I would dream of the ways we'd get cradled
While this lullaby rings in my head

 

Tell me how could you compromise
Yourself like this?
Tell me how could you blame anyone else
When you aren't really committed?
Tell me where was your head
When you broke that promise to yourself,
The one where you don't forget
Every life lesson that happend before your eyes
So you don't wake up to regret she's gone years away?
You had hopes and dreams of a day
Where everything, everything, everything would come together,
You wouldn't have to be so scared.

 

That's appropriate

 

my first song

 

we were addicted to the moon light lines in my old room
and i couldnt tell us apart

 

While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind because the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars

Hey I wanna get better

 

My city's still breathing (but barely it's true)
Through buildings gone missing like teeth
The sidewalks are watching me think about you
Sparkled with broken glass
I'm back with scars to show
Back with the streets I know
Will never take me anywhere but here

The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand
The strangers whose faces I know
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal
To say, "I wanted it this way"
Wait for the year to drown
Spring forward, fall back down
I'm trying not to wonder where you are
All this time lingers, undefined
Someone choose who's left and who's leaving

Memory will rust and erode into lists
Of all that you gave me:
A blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest
The best parts of lonely, duct-tape, and soldered wires
New words for old desires
And every birthday card I threw away
I wait in 4/4 time
Count yellow highway lines that you're relying on
To lead you home

 

You are a toxic place
I am a waste of space
We are giving up
Yeah we're giving up

 

Life goes on.

But I remember laughing
when we caught up;
asking if that was still a part of me.
It's still a part of me.

 

I don't feel the way I've ever felt
I know
Going to smile and not get worried
I try but it shows

Anyone can make what I have built
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills
It takes my pain away

 

You compartmentalize to make sense
Of the arranged marriage of opposites
As risen high as it is bottomless
Here in the playground of the fabulous

Quit second-guessing out your window
Can't see 2000 through your telescope
Leave ten years ago ten years ago
Get back within yourself and listen close

I came here dignified and dainty
But I don't feel much like that lately
Two left feet and gloves full-up with thumbs
Aw shucks and pardon me and sorry, love

So tomorrow if you meet me
In my tangle of apology
Rest assured, I used to be someone
A brother's brother and a mother's son

 

And with hundreds of words, they keep holding you back
And with promises that they keep you off track, but you're better than that
And you're better off happy than waking up guilty of faults and mistakes that never were real

 

I never wanted to take from you
The very thing that you wanted me to help save
I know it wasn't true (they'll know exactly what I want)
And I'm just making it way too fucked up for myself

 

still

 

I saw your face in the mirror last night
Blood stained your clothes
Bags under your eyes
I guess you've heard what I'm like now
Just a body
You're haunting our bedroom
And the hallway
And I still hear your voice in my head
And it's saying awful things

 

All I ever do I say, "I'm not alright"
I throw my back out
Just like an archer
Who has never seen a fight
I look around at all these humans
And wonder if I seem
Just well enough put together
To raise another me

 

A hiccup in paradise
I keep you jealously to myself
In a photo the size of a kiss
A kiss in the shape of a bullet

On phone lines
And letterhead
I'm dying about
I'm dying about

 

all we ever wanted was a cool, dry place to rest our bones.
not to drift along in this current forever, not to have to sink alone.

 

You in this light feels like a thing I can't remember.
Clutching you close your body felt like December.
Shook awake early from the rock of your tremors.
Tracing my thumb over the miles of your memory.
Now a bit lighter with a smile and a laughter.
One in the same and what am I to be after,
Dancing in private with concept of never?
You in this light feels like a thing I can't remember.