(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 162

ohh alright makes sense

if its a small amount i do the same

i guess i am a cheapskate cause i think 20% is plenty for tip

 

You did not understand the core of Mike's post at all

 

My post was quite judgy and preachy, sorry for that. Wasn't really my intention. You don't have to explain yourself, you're right. My bad.

 

I went camping over the weekend and it appears I missed quite a bit of stuff, but I'm glad the worst is over.

Remember it's the Dating and Relationships thread. We're here to provide support, insight, and apparently the occasional laugh.

 

My girlfriend who has been visiting leaves in 36 hours and I'm so sad

 

Back again...in the midst of my relationship ending I turned to friends to try and tell them how I was feeling a little bit and it turned into this weird "tough love" situation where I was judged and berated for not handling things the way I "should" be handling them I guess?
So now I have to deal with guilt over handling the breakup wrong even though it's only been a week and I'm still in the processing stage of it all.
Am I crazy? Am I wrong? Is this a normal reaction? To need time to grieve and process things?

 

I think how you're feeling is totally normal.

 

Nope you aren't in the wrong. A week is still really early on, you're bound to feel all kinds of things in the months to come.

Everyone is different, don't let people tell you you're handling something right/wrong...how can they possibly know what's best for you?

 

Thank you...I know some of the ways I'm dealing with things may not be the way most people would...but it's what's working for ME. And I think being upset right now is a pretty normal reaction to a long term relationship ending.
It is hard because I can't help but feel like most of my friends don't really understand. The ones in question have never had a relationship as long as mine, nor have they lived with a significant other like I do. Moving out and separating your things is like this huge overwhelming task, that people think is as simple as "pack your stuff and go"

 

In my experience breakups just need time and love from those close to you. I don't think anyone can say there's only one way in which to grieve, and unless there's a concern for your physical well-being, I think they should allow you to grieve in your own way. In other words your totally not wrong and that's completely normal. Communication between friends in times like these can be hard but maybe just try and explain that you just need them to listen and not talk (in better words perhaps) ?

 

Sorry for double post but thank you! I thought that too. Especially since this week has been filled with mixed signals and attempts at reconciliation...it hasn't been a black and white breakup.
But thanks, I am going to try and remember that. Some people just THINK they know what's best and judge you if you aren't doing it the way they would.

 

Yeah, that's really tough. Especially going through that without much support from people close to you. I wish you luck.

 

You do you :)

 

I'm all like

 

Thank you, really. I honestly have no support right now. Hence why I'm posting in a forum haha. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I have always felt like an outsider on this (or AP) site and not really friends like everyone else seems to be. But it's really nice to go into this thread or the mental health thread and find support.

Haha thank you! It's funny because one of my friends actually said that in a passive aggressive way and our 3rd friend even said "it's like she's saying 'you do you...no you're doing you wrong". Which is how I feel basically. judged for doing me. Ha

 

I think this place has gotten less cliquey, and don't worry if someone needs help I'll be there for you

 

You definitely pop up over and over again in the threads I frequent and you are always kind to me so thank you for that

 

I agree with iCarly that on the new site it's gotten less cliquey, for sure. I'm only really acquaintances with a handful of users on here and even that's just because I've been interacting with them on the sites for about four years now. I've never met an AP or Chorus person in real life, either. Basically what I'm saying is, don't be afraid to put yourself out there! I'm glad you're finding support here.

 

Sis don't sweat it! A lot of ppl here talk on social media and PMs and in real life and I've never really done that with anyone here either but ppl are still super nice and supportive! Join the gang!!

 

Thank you guys so much

and I agree it's less cliquey in the sense that in some ways it was a clean slate (most people myself included got new usernames and said good riddance to their AP past hahah)

 

A big barrier to me personally feeling welcome on AP, at least for a while, was seeing the post counts of all the users right there in my face, and feeling like no one would take me seriously since I was new and no one knew who I was yet. I'm really glad that's different here on Chorus.

If you don't mind answering, what was your AP username?

 

I disappear from this thread a lot (don't mean to), but I know how it feels. I went through a phase early on with AP, and a couple times since where I felt no one on the site liked me and that I was kind of crashing people's cliques on the site. We all are here for a pretty common purpose of talking to random people about random things though. And you seem cool. I think most people are happy to give support. :) (I'll echo @FTank on the post count thing, for whatever reason I felt like I was of lower status that others because I had 500 and others had 20,000.)

 

You only have 843, no prestige for you!!!