Mental Health Thread • Page 289

It's odd like lately I have been trying to pinpoint why I get so emotionally invested in tv and movies to the point I'd argue it's unhealthy lol, but I think it's that fantasy of watching human beings connect in ways that I haven't and don't quite understand

 

Yeah, I very much enjoy watching characters get what I fully believe I will never, a loving and supportive relationship with another human being. It makes me feel nice for that 23-minute bit of time.

 

Maybe the attachment to movies and TV have warped what is thought of as a connection between two people?

I know I often feel like interactions went a certain way but after the fact find out that it was in my head and not tangible, if that makes sense.

 

I def think it lends to unrealistic expectations and then inevitable disappointment. Like life isn't a bunch of meet cutes and instant chemistry with a close knit friend group with cute banter. Idk idk it's like simultaneously unhealthy and the only way i rly "get" people

 

I think it's maybe led me to wanting meet cutes, but I'm not sure movies/TV ever made me develop a warped view of relationships or anything. I just enjoy them because they're comforting.

 

yeah I feel like I not only need a meet cute but a cool rom com job or else what's the point of life

 

The thing is that after the show/movie ends and they get their happy ending i still have to face reality which is being unhappy and not fully living my life. When shows/movies don't have a happy ending it breaks the fantasy and there is both a sad ending i don't want to confront and the realization I'm not living my life. Feels like a lose-lose. I hate being so scared to make a change.

 

Life is a consistent disappointment

 

Might be a weirdly specific example of what you guys are referring to but I remember some tweet a while back that said something like "my life feels like I'm constantly hitting the bad dialogue option in a visual novel" and I felt that

 

Not doing well tonight. Just curled up in bed and trying my best right now.

 

been feeling annoyed with some of my coworkers lately, especially since i'm the youngest one in the office. they are all literally 20-30 years older than me and make me feel like my life experiences and thoughts are something to be laughed at. one of them has literally thought going through multiple strings of jobs and unemployment before this current job is weird. She also thinks Asian customs or at least what I describe as my experience is weird. She also talks too much to the patients and at times like right now, I feel very annoyed with her at invalidating some of my feelings.

 

Getting emotionally invested in tv and movie characters basically got me through my teenage years lol. I still am very guilty of doing this. It's escapism and could fill so many needs - whether you relate to what's on the screen or not. Maybe it's like watching somebody play their life out in a way you can't. It can almost feel like you're having a social interaction when it's a show or particular character you are really invested in. It can be unhealthy at a certain point but I also feel like there's value in it.

When I was a kid who couldn't express my trauma in words, the beauty of watching TV was that I didn't have to speak, but felt somehow like I was in this world with these characters I found comfort in. Idk if that makes sense but it was pretty powerful.

 

I've been working through a lot of things lately and I am really struggling but I think I am not going to go into another lease with my boyfriend. We've been dating for 6 years. Our lease is up March 1 so I am going to try and get my affairs in order during these months and try to have no credit card debt before that time. It feels awful, I don't know when to talk to him about it. This has been a process of probably about 3 years to get comfortable enough to admit I wasn't happy. I've lived my life for others for so fucking long that admitting what would truly make me happy and nobody else made me sick to even think about. But I'm getting there really slowly. I need to go back to therapy. But I definitely know that these things I am realizing about myself are going to make me the happiest. On the other side of this I will be stronger. It's gonna be so hard but I am also so close to being ready to wade through the mess to get to that happiness.

And just got a text that my second job came through so I'll really be able to be aggressive about the debt and maybe even save.

EDIT: PHEW I said it out loud. Sorry I had to post this because it's so heavy right now just hiding this, I have only talked to my best friend of 20 years about it and nobody else knows. But being able to say it in any form (like on here) kind of takes some of the sting out of it. So thanks for listening everybody.

 

Happy for you, it's so easy for me to fall into a rut and trap of complacency

You deserve to live your best life

 

Thank you Ian

 

You deserve to be happy. Trust me, staying with someone who isn’t the right fit is bad for everyone. You will both move on and you are taking a hugely important step for you. Be strong. You got this!!!!!

 

Thank you so much love.

 

I've mentioned it a few times but my acne is destroying my self esteem. I'm handling it better than I thought I would. Buuuut. So as a teen my acne was crippling. I always looked at the ground when I walked because I didn't think anyone should have to see my face. It honestly destroyed any self worth I had and I was so embarrassed and ashamed. Now with this new birth control it's the worst it's been since I was a teen. My skin was pretty clear before switching. And my coworker friend keeps bringing it up!! At first I laughed it off but as the acne persists and gets worse it's just annoying me now. Who comments on someone's acne?? She's done it like three times. The other day she asked if I had eaten unhealthy and why I had acne on my chin and upper lip area. Then today she joked how the employees at the gym wouldn't recognize me because they'd think I was a teenager with my acne. I know she doesn't mean to be insulting and she probably doesn't realize how it impacts me but I'm actually proud I'm not like spiraling into self hatred with my skin, at least not all the way, but someone constantly commenting on it and noticing doesn't help. Espesh when she asks if I've ever used Proactiv like don't even staaaaart with me

 

That's so incredibly shitty to even comment on someone's acne. I've never understood why anyone would so easily point out something others would feel is a flaw, even if they don't mean something by it. I dunno. Maybe it;s just because I feel so uncomfortable with my body that I'd never point anything about anyone else's for fear of hurting them.

 

It would never even occur to me to point out someone's acne tbh. Unless they pointed theirs out first and even then I'd just like commiserate in how sucky dealing with acne is and would not comment on theirs. I remember my grandpa commenting on my acne as a teen and this coworker is grandparent age too idk idk maybe they're too far removed from remembering how much acne sux but like stoooop

 

Ahh, yeah. Old people continue to show why no one much likes them and how much they suck. It's like being kind goes out the window as you age and being a dick is all they want to do.

 

That's awful. Tell her to stop!! You have every right to call her out. You can do it gently by saying something like, "I'm dealing with it in my own way. I'm not really interested in discussing it." or something like that. It's none of her business!

 

Yeah I mean not like I owe her an explanation or anything but we're all fairly tmi-ish in the office and she knows it's a birth control issue so idk. I basically had to pick between terrible and debilitating PMS symptoms or acne. I've told her to stop but I have such a passive dry sense of humor she probably thinks I'm joking or something

 

Now that I can drive I'm starting to look for a new job and the whole process is awfullllll and making me feel like shit. Like it's already hard enough bc there aren't a lot of jobs in my area in the first place, plus I didn't go to college. Then there's the fact that I have zero professional references bc my job in HS doesn't exist anymore and I have no contact for my old boss. My current job I work from home and my boss doesn't even know who I am I'm pretty sure and I don't exactly have coworkers I can use either. I feel defeated already ugh Like I tried to ask my boss anyway but I only have her email and not phone # and she never replies to any emails sooooo.....ugh. I legit only know family lol I don't have friends or anyone so I'm pretty sure I'm screwed.

 

Yeah all my references are from my current job which I'm sure looks bad but I have anxiety

And applying for jobs is so depressing