(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 154

Fuuuuuuck..Scottish Ian is moving back to Glasgow not permanantly but for a while. He acts like he likes me a lot so I don't know what the plans are. Maybe long distance? Sigh. Just my luck.

 

You gotta pin that down. Scottish don't just come along every day

 

You gotta go to the airport and stop him from getting on the plane!

 

love that it's Dean Pelton

 

Jim Rash is awesome. I didn't know he got a scene on Friends.

 

I hate doing this but it's easier to ask advice from strangers.
As I've said, the wife cheated, we split. Things were really shitty.
Long story short, we reconnected. Long emotional open talks. We love each other. Want to fix us. Recommitted to each other. The past is over, move forward and all that. Mistakes were made and we'll learn and grow together.
Ok cool.
But then I found out she wasn't being completely honest. It wasn't just one guy, one time. It was at least one more guy, and at least twice with him alone. This was before the cheating that I know about, the one she admitted to.
She doesn't know that I know. She still feels like the worst has passed and we're starting to heal our relationship.
do I just let it go? Accept that she regrets everything and just drop all the past? Or now, when we're getting better everyday, do I reveal what I know and reopen the wounds?

 

I could get over one guy but not two. Was there an emotional connection bc that's worse, imo. If you don't call her out you're going to bottle it up and resent her for it. I've never been married but it seems to me she needs to put it all out there so you really can forgive and move on. Just my two cents.

 

There was no emotions involved. It was just sex. Her body had rebelled against her with the whole infertility issue, she just wanted to take it back. Have sex for sex, not a baby.

I could handle more than one. But she looked me in the eye and said "I swear on our child that it was only Brendan. One time." And then later I found out that was a lie.

If we're going to heal, it has to be based on honesty. And our 'healing' started with a lie. So now I don't know what to do. Reveal what I know or just focus on the future.

 

Wtf. Why would you think I'm trolling?

 

I'm a petty bitch so I'd have to reveal that I knew. Idk i see the desire to just move forward but it seems like something that could cause resentment. Don't want something like that building up and then it coming out at the wrong time

 

How did you find out? Was it the result of snooping around?

That aside, it depends on whether or not you think it is worth bringing up. In an ideal world, the basis of the renewal of emotional bonds is based on trust, but reality is far messier. Is your love enough? Can you set aside these occurrences for your own mental health? Is the oath she swore on your son's life something which can be swept aside as just something she said so as not to further push you apart? Lastly, is it comfort or love which is calling on you to stay? Often those two things get mixed up. There's an ideal life that we project into the past when dealing with the dissolution or fracturing of a relationship, which we cling to, but which is, more often than not, our minds trying to justify the status quo. That's just my opinion.

 

I'd like to think love is enough. Because honestly, she regrets her actions. Does it ultimately matter if it was once? Twice? His place? Our place? What position? What time of day? No. Just thinking about that only tortures me and extends the misery. So I'm tempted to just let it go. Whatever she still lies about is just an effort to put it behind and move on. But what you touched on is really what I'm struggling with. Not for me, but her. Does she want back because she loves me? Or because being back is easier and familiar? If it's the latter, it won't last.

 

forget her, forget the relationship. start over without her. nothing's to stop her from doing it again. she can say all she wants, means diddely.

 

Honestly, thats where I am 80% of the time. It's only during that 20% that I come on here and ask advice.

 

Move on without her. She's dishonest and dishonesty isn't needed in relationships. Like it's been said, she can do it again and then lie. If you really want, tell her you know about the other time and let her know she needs to confess everything if you're gonna start over and if she's lying or does something again that's it. Give her an ultimatum.

 

Everyone is dishonest. Just some people hide it better. Some don't get caught. Trust nobody.

 

I don't think this "relationship" with Scottish Ian is going to work out.

 

feeling like i'm going to be single forever

 

i've realized that my favorite types of pictures are the ones where someone has a photo of them "sleeping" that their "boo" took and you can see them holding their phone, taking the picture themselves from a well placed mirror somewhere in the room that the pathetically sad person forgot to notice when they took said picture. example:

 

I love that meme when ppl make fun of it like taking the pics with their feet and stuff lol

 

I'm worried about being ghosted. Hopefully I'm wrong, things were going well so it wouldn't make sense on my end

 

There's no sense in this game. Just things which happen.

 

She stopped talking to you??? :(