The Hotelier - Goodness (May 27, 2016) Album • Page 187

I've developed immense emotional connections to both albums, for different reasons. Because of that it's hard for me, at this point, to really declare favoritism towards one or the other. Maybe current me doesn't love Goodness as much as past me loved Home, but that was a different time in my life (that I'm so glad to have behind me) and it's hard to hear that album the same as I did when it came out. The feelings I get when listening to Goodness are still very fresh, and true to who I am now. Hard to really articulate.

When Home came out I was just beginning to really actively question my gender identity, on top of all of that I was just a miserable person who felt like they were going nowhere. I was working night shift at a McDonald's, driving 40 minutes just to get there, and Home must have soundtracked those drives for a least a month straight. I was depressed, dysphoric, and angry a lot of the time and that album was cathartic as hell for all those feelings. I'm so thankful I found that album during that time.

A lot happened in the meantime– I changed jobs, came to the realization that I was transgender, came out, fought crippling dysphoria for nearly a year, I battled extreme suicidal ideation, I joined a band, went on tour, found reason to live through that, and finally decided to get on hormones and began my transition. It's been a period of extreme peaks and valleys, and it has changed me in many ways.

So now we have Goodness. In May, as I was approaching 9 months of being on hormones, the album went up for streaming. I'd listened to Piano Player a few times, Soft Animal once, and while I liked them, they didn't really impact me the way I expected them to, at least not on their own. So I went into the album expecting to be a bit underwhelmed, and maybe on first listen I was, but I could sense it was a grower. So on my next listen, I sat down with the lyrics and a pair of headphones and read along, and it just clicked. The album became another month-long soundtrack to my drives to work. I can't tell you definitively what the lyrics on this album mean, but I know what they mean to me. To me this album is about acceptance, of your own shortcomings and those of other people. It's about loving and seeing beauty in things. It's about change and life's cyclical nature. Given my interpretation of the album, it could not have come at a more crucial time in my life.

I've been struggling to accept so many things about myself– my body, my shortcomings. I've been trying to learn self-love and to find the beauty in things. I've been changing, physically and mentally. Since this album has come out I have found the strength to go out into the world as myself, finally presenting as the woman I've known myself to be. I'm exercising self-love in no longer hiding who I am, in quitting a toxic job that required me to closet myself, I am standing up for myself for what feels like the first time ever. It's allowed me to open my eyes and see the beauty in nature, and in myself, and others. My body and mind are beginning to sync up in their evolution.

This is goodness, to me: it may not be immediate or constant, and it may take some effort, but it's so rewarding when it hits you. I'm so thankful I've found it during this time.

 

@nohandstoholdonto

 

That was an incredible post. I love seeing how people connect to music and how it develops meaning to them. Thank you for sharing!

 

I'm not good at sharing personal stuff on the Internet... But whatever. This record has meant a lot to me this summer. A couple of years ago my fiancé left me for my best friend ( he was going to be the best man in my wedding). Although I have forgiven them since, I think that I was still holding in some jealousy and resentment since. I think this record really helped me forgive them in my heart and actually be happy for them and their family that they have started. I see their happiness and I don't feel any anger anymore which took a long time to get to. They are married with a kid now so I am glad I can be happy for them.

As for me I recently bought a house with my gf and things are going really well so in the end it worked out for everyone.

 

i started recovery from heroin addiction almost 4 weeks ago and needless to say this album has been huge in every conceivable way during that time

 

youre the man, my friend

 

This thread is super fantastic right now.

 

Goodness.

 

Soft Animals is the song.

 

Fuck yeahs all around. Love the warm feelings and energy in here. So so happy for everybody on the up and up.

 

There's a few songs on here where I don't feel like I fully grasp what's being said but I think the main one is "End of Reel" which seems to be a big favourite on this site but it's probably my least favourite on here and I think part of that is down to me not getting the lyrics. Anyone want to give me their interpretation of what's going on there?

 

if you don't like the front cover of the record the back cover is great. it makes me smile (as does the front)

 

It's been pretty easy for me to connect that song with the end of high school for me, which is why it hits me so hard. I assume the intended meaning is about coming to terms with the end of a relationship, and at the end of it, just feeling alright. Christian finding closure in themselves at the end of a long journey

 

This is pretty much what I take from it as well. I also think this song pulls together the Taoist themes of not having large expectations from others and accepting things that may be out of your control. it def goes a little deeper into it but I did some research on Taoist philosophy and you can find some connection to it in most of the songs

 

It's hard to put into words, but yeah, I agree. It's definitely the most Taoist influenced song on the album

 

Holy shit.

 

I just tried starting the album with Goodness 1 and then going straight into Piano Player and I think that's my favourite way to start this album.

 

weird

 

i deleted this off my computer 2 weeks after it came out cause i just didn't get into it... completely forgot about it, but still bummed that i don't have the same connection as a lot of people.

 

This album means so much to me these days. A few years ago, I fell in love with my best friend and we began dating. It was the most important relationship I've ever had at the time, and we stayed together for over two years. I experienced some problems while dating her-- like by the end, she felt very depressed and couldn't stay happy for any reason whatsoever. She became very angry at the problems in her life and would take it out on me. Eventually, she told me she couldn't stay with me because she just doesn't feel it was real anymore-- but that she didn't want me to leave her life completely.

The next few months I stayed, waiting around for things to get better, but they didn't. I couldn't wait around for her while she just slowly fell out of love. I loved her with my whole heart-- she was the most important part of my life for five years! I was unemployed and fresh out of college, and I was living with my parents. My relationship with my family isn't the best, and it only got worse when I decided that I needed to move out and restart my life.

My family was very against my move, and I began to develop feelings for another good friend of mine. I didn't act on these feelings because I still cared about my past-- and I know following my feelings for my friend would hurt my ex. My ex still resented me, drunk calling me, wishing harm upon me-- even though she was the one who initially left me. She hated me for trying to move on. The relationship I once considered the most beautiful part of my life became the most painful part of my life. She blamed me for the problems in her life, and I felt ashamed, guilty. I hated my own happiness because I felt I didn't deserve it. I convinced myself that my happiness was wrong because it made her sad.

But I had moved out, living with a friend off the lease, managed to get a temporary job, and began exploring my feelings with my friend. I tried my best to start anew. I tried my best to follow my happiness. This is what this album means to me. It's accepting the happiness you don't think you deserve. I was terrified to fall in love, and I truly believed I never would ever again, but I did. I fell in love with another friend-- the girl I told myself I wouldn't. And she treats me so much better than I could ever imagine. That whole section of Sun, "if its you undone, i can't sit in your sun" means so much to me. It's the fear. And then in You In This Light, the image of finding her in a ball in the bedding, tracing miles over her memory, etc... All of that is the gentle submission into happiness. It's the uncertainty of it. It's the beauty of starting again.

This album beams with that kind of light, that hope I found. I know the album is technically about moving on after a breakup, but to me it means falling in love again after a breakup, and entering your happy space again. It's about appreciating the small things-- nature and silence. It's shimmering with the warmth of summer.

 

I think these connections can come to people at different times. Every once in a while a record hits me at the perfect time and something I thought was eh.. becomes an all time favorite. So who knows maybe you'll listen to this in a year and it will click.. or maybe it just isn't in your aesthetic to enjoy it. I'm pretty much the same way with the 1975 record, I can't connect with it at all ha.

 

This album brings a lot of comfort to me since my "lifestyle choices" are so strange compared to my southern peers (queer, anarchist, agnostic, vegetarian, viewing gender as useless, anti-hunting, etc) and for whatever reason the themes and concepts tackled on this little record offer a reprieve and comfort that I can't fully express. Really this bands entire discography, even interviews with Christian and the band, is so wonderfully comforting and gives me someone to look up to and relate to.

 

Absolutely adore reading about people's connections to this album. Back when I said this band is important, this is what I was talking about. Any band that can elicit such powerful emotions from this many people is very special.

I listened to this album during a torrential rainstorm on my way to a music festival this weekend and the sky cleared up briefly when Sun came on, which was awesome.

 

Been gone for a while so kinda sad to see this all the way back in page 3 instead of top of the site as it was around launch, but it's still awesome to see it keep going and have enjoyed catching up on everything after the initial hype has kinda settled.

I'm still interested to see whether this holds up as well long term, like by the end of the year type thing. Since I've come back from uni I haven't listened to music as frequently, and haven't really had the time to sit down and really take it in like I did back near it released, let alone with the UK ripping itself apart and not exactly creating the optimal environment for this album. I think, if anything, that's the main thing I've learnt from the extra month or so since it came out: you really have to be in the right mood and have the right environmental stimuli to truly enjoy this. For example, this won't be an album you can play at full volume and sing along to in your car every day, and while that isn't a criticism or a negative, it's that sort of attribute that means it probably won't get as much playtime as other albums despite it being, in my opinion, objectively better than them. But when I have listened to it while on a quiet walk in the woods or just resting at home in the garden alone or whatever, it still hits me every time.

tl;dr this album still slays

 

Tour's here tonight. Bellows just blew me the fuck away. Epoch is too strong