Riot Fest 2019 (September 13-15) Tour • Page 50

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Seriously though Talking Heads would be cool

 

Y'know, I thought about this. Seeing that album from front-to-back is cool and all... But for me, personally? I saw them play pretty much that entire record (granted with other songs dispersed between them) roughly 3-4 times back when it was initially released.

So I'm pretty okay on seeing that one live.

 

Seems like a fun tool to make up some rumors with.

 

That’s true this did really play a lot of that album in the mid 2000’s and even still break out some cuts from it.

I guess it really doesn’t matter to me in the grand scheme of things because I’ve never seen Green Day. So whether they played Dookie or AI I’d be in heaven hearing an iconic album live.

 

That would make a lot of sense actually because I believe that the first Cokie the Clown appeance was at the 5th Riot Fest (at least that is where they recorded the video for it).

 

Give Green Day a 2 hour set. They play both Dookie and American Idiot. Problem solved.

 

They would need at least 45 mins for covers and "Hey Oh's" though so a tight fit

 

For what it's worth, since we're probably a week out from the lineup, I made a list of bands I think are at least likely

Confirmed:

Blink-182

GWAR (per Zolturd)

Andrew WK (per Zolturd)


Practically confirmed:

Taking Back Sunday (plays often, has Riot Fest gap)

Streetlight Manifesto (listed Riot Fest on their Facebook then deleted it)


Very Likely:

The Raconteurs (Riot Fest gap in tour)

Descendents (Riot Fest gap in tour)

The Get Up Kids (Riot Fest gap in tour)

Cloud Nothings (Same tour as Get Up Kids)

The Struts (Riot Fest gap in tour)

The Aquabats (Tour skips Chicago)


Likely:

Bikini Kill (no Chicago date)

Ride (US leg starts 09/16 and has no Chicago date)

Bloc Party (tour begins just after Riot Fest, no Chicago date)

The B-52s (Riot Fest gap on 09/15)

The Selecter (Riot Fest gap on 09/14)

Against Me! (no Chicago date)

The Flaming Lips (Riot Fest gap)

Less Than Jake (no Chicago date)

Reel Big Fish (no Chicago date)

Violent Femmes (no Chicago date)

Stray Cats (no Chicago date)

Frank Iero and the Future Violents (no Chicago date)

White Reaper (no Chicago date)

 

I would add The Starting Line to very likely based on their tour dates.

 

What about a band like Hidden in Plain View? They've only done one off shows on the coasts since they came back a couple years ago and they're doing AC Warped. I could see a band like that opening for TSL on their dates. Just a thought...

 

first time i have seen this verbage and imagery on sponsored content. the wheels are definitely turning!

 

Kyle Kinane, Chris Gethard, Eugene Mirman, Hari Kondabolu, Tig Notaro, Jen Kirkman, Brian Posehn, Emo Phillips, Ali Wong, Janeane Garafalo, and Bobcat Goldthwait would all rule.

Patton Oswalt and Hannibal Buress would both be absolutely amazing, but I don't know if they'd be too big?

 

I actually saw Gethard at Riot in the crowd for Jawbreaker.. ok, back to my sabbatical for real this time.. the lineup is inevitable so just gonna sit back and wait.. also nofx playing the 20th anniversary of the decline hasn't been brought up and that'd be sweet.

 

Had a dream last night that Blur was one of the headliners

 

Tell your brain to plz be more honest. We take this shit VERY seriously!

 

Srs Biznzzz

edit:

Thanks to reddit we now know every possible Zolturd response (someone ran a script). Posting for speculative purposes:

0: "You saw a poster that said 'Riot Fest.'"
1: "It's time to party."
2: "You can’t really think of anything better to do."
3: "To look for the keys you lost last year in the porta potty."
4: "It’s better than staying at home."
5: "Nobody would go to prom with you. This is better than prom."
6: "You've been dreaming about Riot Fest lately, haven't you?"
7: "To puke on the Ferris wheel."
8: "To bathe in the blood of aliens."
9: "You need to break in your new boots."
10: "You hate cantaloupe, and cantaloupe is banned."
11: "Maybe John Stamos will finally be there this year."
12: "These are the best years of your life, and if you blink, they’ll be gone."
13: "You love to poop in the porta potties."
14: "Your two favorite bands are playing (but at the same time)."
15: "If you don’t go to Riot Fest, we will find you and make you pay."
16: "You will find true love in a porta potty."
17: "You will find a dollar bill on the ground."
18: "It’s our 15th Anniversary, and it’s going to be amazing."
19: "If your friends went to Riot Fest, would you go to Riot Fest too? Yes, you would."
20: "It’s going to be the best fucking weekend of your life."
21: "It will be better than last year. Or worse."
22: "If you don’t go, we won’t be mad. But we will be disappointed."
23: "So you can bring Monique snacks at the box office."
24: "If not enough people show up, we have to fire someone. Sorry, Jake."
25: "Our moms collectively said it’s the best festival ever."
26: "Because lots of bearded guys with tattoos and jean vests will be there."
27: "It’s not as bad as people say it is."
28: "Beer. Bands. Bees. Battlestar Galactica."
29: "The world will probably end sooner rather than later."
30: "To brag to all your friends who didn’t go."
31: "So you can take lots of Snapchats of the bands for social media points."
32: "Frankly, all your stupid excuses are bullshit."
33: "When you’re old, you can tell your kids you used to be cool."
34: "You can spend all of your money on merch."
35: "To enjoy this golden time you will soon cling desperately to the memory of."
36: "If you don’t go, we will hide clowns in your closet."
37: "If you don't go, the Riot Fest Twitter Person will quit."
38: "Life’s too short, so do what you want. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, so everyone just do what you want."
39: "You don't need a stupid video game thing to tell you what to do. "
40: "You might get to run around in a big circle with a bunch of punks."
41: "There's lots of mohawks. You should have a mohawk."
42: "You love reading all the stories, features and interviews published on RiotFest.org."
43: "To hold your annual “Who can get covered in the most fake blood from GWAR” contest with your friends."
44: "You just want a corn dog, man."
45: "To show off the patches your mom ironed onto your denim vest."
46: "The full album plays."
47: "That one band you really like is playing. Which band? I dunno. "
48: "You should really get outside as much as possible before Chicago freezes over."
49: "Because it's the only festival in Chicago. Literally. No other festival to go to. "
50: "You can brag about seeing that band before they were cool."
51: "Your mom said she'll pick you up afterwards."
52: "You can't read, but the lineup poster art looks cool enough. "
53: "You're not cool, but if you go to Riot Fest you can pretend to be. "
54: "You can show off that new black t-shirt you bought."
55: "You can show off that OTHER new black t-shirt you bought!"
56: "You are going to find out how many hot dogs you can fit in your mouth. It's eight. "
57: "I'll miss you if you don't go this year. "
58: "I know things about you. Horrible, horrible things. And if you don't go, I'm telling everyone. "
59: "You promised you would do nice things for yourself. This isn't one of them, but you should go anyway. "
60: "Riot Fest makes it socially acceptable to drink at 1:00pm. "
61: "You can drink in a park and listen to your favorite bands."
62: "Justin Bieber won't be there. "
63: "No EDM music. "
64: "Nothing matters. You might as well go to a festival. "
65: "You promised me you would go. Don't be a liar. "
66: "I honestly won't notice if you go to Riot Fest or not, but it would be cool if you did. "
67: "You love pooping in the cleanest port-a-potties."
68: "There's grass. Yes, grass."
69: "To justify all the money you spent at Hot Topic in your teens."
70: "You like to blow your paycheck spontaneously on fun things. This is one of those fun things."
71: "The aftershows, which will be excellent."
72: "The friends you'll make waiting in line for the porta potties will stay with you forever. Or at least until you poop."
73: "There’s a fried version of anything and everything edible."
74: "To escape your boring office job and roam amongst the punks."
75: "To sit on a big grassy hill and eat some nachos with your friends."
76: "You enjoy wearing skinny jeans in extremely hot weather."
77: "You'll find a new favorite band. Or two."
78: "You'll eat the most delicious carnival food you've ever tasted."
79: "Your grandma wants a Riot Fest tote bag. Get her a tote bag, jerk."
80: "It's a much better date than eating overcooked steak."
81: "Well, we're announcing the lineup pretty soon...maybe that would convince you?"
82: "Because this year's lineup cannot be missed. You'll see real soon."

 

I'll edit this post when I'm sure of answers.

1: "It's time to party." ANDREW WK
2: "You can’t really think of anything better to do." RACONTEURS
8: "To bathe in the blood of aliens." REIGN IN BLOOD? + A STAB AT TOM DELONGE?
12: "These are the best years of your life, and if you blink, they’ll be gone." BLINK-182

 

"There's grass. Yes, grass."

Snoop Dogg confirmed.

 

The alien blood one is definitely about GWAR, because they're aliens that spray their blood everywhere.

 

#2 is an awesome shout out to The Racs if anyone remembers Jack's rant at Bonnaroo 4-5 years back, specifically in regards to Steady As She Goes.

 

17: "You will find a dollar bill on the ground." - LIMP BIZKIT
32: "Frankly, all your stupid excuses are bullshit." - FRANK IERO

 

There are an AWFUL lot of poop jokes. Dookie confirmed?

 

Ok so I probably a reach cus they like to joke about scheduling conflicts, but “You’re two favorite bands are playing but at the same time” couldddd be a tease for Simple Creatures. I’m still convinced they’ll be there.

 

My friend is having a wedding next September in Maine but I don’t know the date yet. I am already freaking out cus I just know it’s gonna happen :(

 

I think some of you all are reaching with these hints. The poop jokes all revolve around porta-potties. Seems like they were just building that "joke" over the course of three different fortunes...

Can you explain that a bit? I have zero clue.

Welcome to my current reality for this year, haha.