The A1chemy Index Vol. 5: Dan should not have the ability to change this thread title • Page 313

im going to a wedding this weekend and I do not agree with the marriage taking place, should I say something during the ceremony? y/n

 

Took today off to do some landscaping and so far I’ve just sat watching Brooklyn 99 lol.

 

F

 

no you should save that torpedo for @Shrek ’s wedding

 

he can do it at multiple weddings, it can be his thing

 

Is ravioli a sandwich

 

Manscaping?

 

No its a calzone

 

Wow it's 2019

 

took the day off to do landscaping wtf? lmao

 

WUT

 

I’ve got like 20 plants to plant lol.

 

a ravioli is just a pasta crustable and a crustable is just a portable sandwich so yes

 

I object
you sir eating the chicken parm here did you say something

 

Tell everyone that the bride has been fornicating once a fortnight for the past 5 years.

 

Film it if you do

 

"Does anyone object?"


Me: I do


*crowd gasps*

Me: Long dramatic soliloquy about chicken parm

 

"If anyone has a reason these two should not wed -"
"Actually yeah he gets kinda weird about her going out on her own which seems overprotective and sexist and she uses guilt trips to get her way a lot"
"If anyone other than Dan..."

 

wait do you know these people lol

 

Hello

 

I've been depressed thinking about the new abortion laws and all that and I wanna say something about it but I can't come up with anything smart to say that hasn't been said and feel dumb just being like "Hey these laws are bad"

 

She caught him sending MAD dick pix to girls a few months ago. He claims he never actually met the girls

 

Happy Friday to everyone except @SlappinCups