Mental Health Thread • Page 266

Excellent news, on both fronts!

 

Wooo that's great news!

 

Everything is overwhelming and I’m fucking sick of it. I’m tired and I don’t want to do this anymore.

 

Back when I was younger I had an extremely difficult time holding conversations with people who are in survival brain state and not using their executive functioning. I've always been fairly logic-driven and even more so when I was younger. I was very black and white in my thinking. As I got older I learned about trauma and the brain and why people don't always respond to things the way I would and why that's ok, and it's helped over the years. It's rearing it's head again tho. I think as I'm struggling more and more to gain footing with my own mental health, I find myself reverting to what I know which is logic, facts, etc and having a hard time coping when someone is coming from a more emotional place. And there's nothing wrong with coming from an emotional place. I'd argue its a healthier response than mine lol, but I feel like I'm regressing and shutting down.

 

Hate how I'm incapable with disappointing people, whether they truly care or not, that part doesn't matter.

Boss was out beginning of this week so I worked from home. Really just two days in office since Friday is my normal day to work from home and he seemed disappointed I wasn't coming in (means hes basically by himself/be lonely more than anything else). Or he's just still tired from the trip and last few long days. All my brain is fucking thinking about. Hate my brain.

 

INCOMING JUVENILE/PETTY RELATIONSHIP WOES.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to offload/shout into the void, but I have crippling jealousy issues that stem from massive insecurities.

I’ve just started a new relationship and it’s an odd one to put it lightly. She lives 2/3 hours away by car. We’ve both moved to Japan from different countries to teach English. We met during an intense 2 week training course, where we spent nigh on every waking moment together. We briefly decided we were together, but she doesn’t use her phone much at all, and as a result I barely got to speak to her whenever I wasn’t around. (She once referred to herself as my ghost girlfriend). So what I assumed was *normal* amounts of texting in a ~long distance relationship ended up being too much for her. She broke it off.

Since then I spent Golden Week (a 10 day series of public holidays in Japan) with her, and we promptly got back together. I was supposed to be visiting there for the weekend as a friend, but after 2 nights we were a couple and I stayed for the entire holiday. It was perfect.

Now, I was cheated on in the past. I say this because ever since, every relationship I’m in I’m terrified of losing my partner and obsess over every little detail. Examples - my S/O is going to a party? Oh no - she’ll find someone who lives in her town and dump me. She’s hanging out with literally any male whatsoever? They’re a threat. They’re all better-looking, funnier and more interesting.

I can’t tell her any of this because I’m resigned to being more ‘chill’ with her to accommodate for the fact she doesn’t like using her phone or having intense conversations/conflict over text/call.

LONG STORY SHORT I GUESS:

How do people cope with jealousy in a long-distance relationship without fucking it up? I’m not here to dictate who my girlfriend spends time with, and I trust her. She’s monogamous and we’ve actually broached the topic of cheating/open relationships before - we’re on the same page in that they’re a big no no. She’s been telling people I’m her boyfriend. So why is it that I’m still terrified constantly?

I’m in Japan so I can’t see a counsellor, and it’s so incredibly embarrassing that I just feel sick and want to cry all the time. I can’t tell my friends or family because they all think everything is going smooth and I’ve got my shit together. Urgh. I don’t expect any answers here, or even a reply at all. I know it’s petty. Just yeah.

 

I’m largely an introverted person, I’ll feel much more comfortable being by myself than around other people. It always leads to some breaking point where I isolate myself a little too much and end up feeling way too alone.

 

If that isn't me, too.

I'll get really anxious and be like, well fuck no one I can reach out to.

 

I keep stretching myself too thin because I’m afraid of telling people no, then I isolate myself because I’m exhausted and spend 70% of the day in bed and feel like absolute trash.

 

idk if this is helpful but uhhhh same. my therapist keeps reminding me that time spent for myself is valuable, so i'll remind you too.

 

learning when and how to say no is so important. still doing that myself.

 

That is helpful. Thank you!

 

After a long period of feeling pretty depressed, i'm finally starting to feel better. I'm starting to settle into my new job and i've been making a more consistent effort to hang out with friends. For the first time in a while, i feel like things are starting to look up.

 

Out of the hospital, home in my bed. Today was very long and mostly unpleasant. And I'm entirely dependent on my gf right now. Totally helpless. Tough day for her too. I know this is temporary but fuuuuuuck

 

Well so much for this, because I woke up feeling so fucking sad today. I had a great day yesterday but then everything just had to be ruined by these weirdly vivid and super emotional dreams I have when I go to sleep.

That being said, my hope is that it's just a small bump in the road rather than a dive off of a cliff.

 

I feel like if I'm feeling anxious or depressed about things that are silly I can at least be like stop being a dummy brain but worrying about climate change and the fact that our generation will never have job security seems to make sense, but I also know it's not my burden and not moving forward with my life won't help shit

 

I totally get this. I get depressed and anxious about how little anyone in power seems to care about climate change; just reading the news about it can fuck me up for the day. I worry about job security every day, whether it's my sister's, friend's, or my own (I'll never feel secure in my job and will get super anxious if I ever make a mistake. I worry this mistake, no matter how small or insignificant will somehow be the straw the broke the camel's back and I'll be out on my ass looking for a job. Especially now that I'm somewhere with an extremely high cost of living and i tend to buy things when feeling depressed, lik a fucking idiot.) /sorry for the off-topic rant at the end.

 

I love learning that I'm being excluded from things by certain members of my family all because I said no to something I'm not qualified to do

Makes me feel really fucking great

I fucking hate my family

It's probably only a matter of time before I end up in a psych ward because of the shit they put me through

Fuck this

Sorry that this is all stream of consciousness-y, I'm just so fucking fed up with feeling like this

 

All I want is to be brave and have integrity and when I feel like I lack those traits I spiral down hard.

 

I start therapy on Wednesday, nervous about it. I’m tired of dealing with my ex over our child, I’ve made strides to better myself for our daughter but that’s not enough and now lawyers are gonna get involved. The stress and anguish this is causing me is eating me up inside, I just want my daughter in my life.

 

Today is a bad mental health day and I just wanna disappear.

 

respect for, and support for other forum members. This includes mental illness, self-harm, eating disorders and many other serious life road blocks. Anything you would like to speak about whether it be support for a member or just genuine curiosity

 

This week has been rough af which is sad cause it's only Tuesday

 

Urgh. Losing so much sleep over petty relationship concerns. I make my s/os central to my well-being and happiness. And it fucking ruins me. I’m constantly overanalysing every aspect of my relationships, anxiously spamming them with texts asking if things are okay and then just ultimately destroying the relationship one day at a time. Feel like a fucking alien. I can’t talk to anybody properly and express how I feel in fear of them being weirded out and leaving me. I don’t understand people and it’s terrifying.

 

Literally gonna lose my fucking mind because of work stress, financial stress, personal life stress. I’m 26 and not to be dramatic but I have not had a peaceful time in my life literally ever and I’m just starting to wonder why I try so hard when the universe is just going to smack me down every single time I try to be better.