(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 102

I mean, people sweep and mop floors too, but I still wouldn't lick those.

 

If the clean floor is as clean as a clean plate, why not?

 

I'm not sexually aroused by floors though...

 

well, it's probably not, and there are also millions of bacteria in an anus 100% of the time

 

I guess this is where we reach the problem then, because I'm not aroused by anus, but to each their own.

 

okay sure, a butthole will not ever be 100% clean, but you know what? We're not damn 7 month old babies. Our immune systems can handle it easy. As Kelly Clarkson would say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

My date pushed up the date an hour because she said she was excited and couldn't wait...Yeah, thanks for letting me know that the expectations are sky high. Can only go downhill from here.

 

I don't think eating out someone's butt is that much worse than other forms of oral sex like ur in somebody's potty areas regardless so it doesn't seem like that gross of a leap but then again I've never done it so what do I know

 

You guys acting like your p's and v's have no bacteria lmao

 

Well of course they do, perhaps it's just the idea of eating ass that I can't get behind. Honest, I generally wouldn't expect to be in the minority on this so I'm surprised.

 

eating ass sounds fine as long as I know it's been "cleaned" and maybe some kind of edible and tasty jelly inserted

 

If she's that excited, it's a great start. It's easier said than done but try to think of it that way.

 

Pretend your anxiety is excitement. Sometimes that works for me if I can convince myself.

 

this made me think of Jim Gaffigan's "i like fish as long as it doesn't taste like fish" joke.

 

potty areas.

 

you should cancel it.

 

On Tinder I just matched with an old school friend's girlfriend from when we were 17

 

i don't think you want to know whats happening on the inside of your mouth

 

I have no idea how to start a conversation on Tinder. I have like 30 matches who i've never spoken to.

 

Hi

 

make a pun based off of their name, comment on a photo. Do anything besides "hey :)"

You gotta be fun and interesting off the bat to differentiate yourself from the other seven hundred million dudes sending the girl the same exact message.

 

I wanna make an impression...

 

i have never opened up a conversation on one of those apps that didn't start with just hello.

 

the best opener I've had was with a girl name Chantelle, and I sent "I don't kiss Chantelle."

It went well.

Just be yourself and try to show them what your personality is like... which means cutting out as much small talk as you possibly can.