(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 52

Yeah it's weird because I know part of my inability to be social is me just not putting myself out there enough. But at the same time, putting myself out there is super difficult and makes me feel like I should remove myself even more when I try. Vicious circle, or what have you.

Part of it for me too is I just don't think I have it in me to become as invested in something as I was my former partner and have it end the way it did again but like saying that makes me feel like I'm being melodramatic haha

 

I can't believe it's been two months since I posted this and I never got back to you. I appreciate these responses and it means a lot. What made it worse was, I was able to get along with his friends and I could hang out with them, but that only lasted for two months and I haven't heard from anyone in almost a year now. I hate that I've been cast aside and ignored and now I just don't have patience or trust in people much anymore because it's easy for people to walk over you and I just don't want to allow that ever again.

And I still think about it sometimes. I was treated really badly and it has made me reconsider being in a relationship again or getting married. I get stressed at the little things, and I'd rather just have some good friends to hang out with. I don't mean to get all blah blah politics, but society and tradition makes it seem like getting married and having kids is some kind of goal and makes you a whole person, but nobody should be made to feel that way or be pressured into thinking so especially if they're doubting it. This also goes back to my negative view of sex and how it's drilled into media and culture, especially towards women. Not wanting to party or be sexual doesn't make you a bad person. And being a virgin, or a prude, should not be viewed in such a negative light either. My experience with my ex has definitely reinforced and confirmed my views on this. Sorry to get all political, don't mean to bring anyone down. Just my experiences with men and conversations with friends have been tough because I've been laughed at / treated like a lesser person for being more personally conservative about partying and sex.

 

LOL yes like we'd all be hanging out and he'd leave to the store across the street and get her and himself a snack and not me (nobody asked for a snack either he just wanted to make a point) lol what a scrub.

Yikes looks like you dodged a bullet at least!

 

Oh jeez, what is this junior high? did he take her on dates to mcdonalds too? Haha

Well I dont think that would've ever happened with me but yea... It was weird when my friends were asking me if she's pregnant and I had no idea like... Wut

 

He was like 24 omg can we rename this thread to Kiana Makes Poor Decisions??

 

The idea of passive aggressively buying someone chips to make some sort of point to your gf is hilarious

In a not-so-funny when it's real kinda way

 

Naw it was funny then too I was like wtf lol

 

Are you claiming that sour cream and onion is a poor decision though...?

 

we can't all have Phoebe's luck of having a Joey randomly meet some guy to set us up with that we eventually marry.

 

"hey baby, I went to grab some cigs and I decided to get you this big bag of delicious dorito 3Ds"

 

Well I mean I didn't get any of them so yes

 

It really is like something that would be on television because it's such a small, insane thing to do.

 

Met up with this girl for the first time the other night. Wasn't really a date, she was just in the area so I figured why not, and we talked a lot, including a lot about our ex's (not as awkward as it probably sounds). Eventually we pretty much just talked about her recent ex, because she's currently in a really fucked up situation and I didn't know what to tell her.
Apparently they broke up a few months ago, but he's incredibly emotionally manipulative / abusive and obsessive, and I just felt really bad for her. We met over tinder, and she had actually only used the app for a few hours because apparently he saw her on it (or had some friend who saw her on it? Not totally sure of the details...) and started calling her and freaking the fuck out, because even though they're kind of broken up they're apparently in that kind of limbo where they said they'd wait to resolve it later. I could keep going on but it would all be redundant, honestly. She still cares about him just by virtue of being together for the past few years, but she already realizes how fucked up he's being and simply doesn't know how to end it. If she were to block his number then he'd just stalk her on other mediums. And her parents are from India and have uber-conservative views about relationships, like "no romantic relationships ever except for the one person you have already planned to marry"-level conservative, and so she's never even told them about this guy, so going to them about it isn't really an issue for her either.

Just listening to it all made me really upset and angry and I was even more upset that I couldn't think of any potential solution for her. This dude is next-level paranoid - attempting to call and text her an absolutely absurd number of times within just the few short hours that I was with her (he's hours away so it's not like he could have seen her himself any way).

I feel bad/weird about posting about a completely different person's relationship on here, but I guess I'm hoping one of you might have some idea re: what she could potentially do here...

 

What a tragic life you lead

 

I can't tell you that, Yusuke, it will make me look bad/worse. Lets just say it begins with physical traits/appearance.

 

Welp, if you are looking for a particular set of physical traits(I'm assuming these are rare af traits and you aren't crazy specific, you might have to travel a bit.

 

I'm really into redheads so I get that.

 

I year on, and still madly in love with my ex. Really wish that wasn't the case.

 

I dated a guy who talked down to me a lot especially while drinking. He said something really nasty to me while we were on the balcony. I slapped a glass out of his hand and it broke. His grandad who had died like 5 years before gave it to him. He grabbed me by my shoulders and shoved me into the balcony and tried to lift me up but I realized what was happening and held onto the bars. I grabbed my purse and ran out, a friend picked me up down the road, and I never went and picked up my shit I just left it.

I'm friends with most exes and I'll talk to him when he calls. I was 24ish and every couple years he calls to talk and talks about our relationship and how "we were just too young and not in the right place in our lives." I correct him everytime with a "nah, that night you tried to throw me over the balcony but failed. That's why we didn't work out." He calls me a bitch and hangs up. EVERYTIME. I shouldn't answer but it is so funny. If that makes me mean then so be it. It was a scary situation at the time I guess but I just laugh at it now.

I have been in some really amazing relationships and some reaaaaally shitty ones.

 

Probably been discussed before, but thoughts on public affection on Facebook, Instagram, etc? Currently kind of going through this with my gf. I obviously don't mind pictures, showing we are in a relationship things like that. I also don't mind posting about it every once and a while about us. My gf on the other hand wished I posted more about it/her. I understand some people are like that and are affectionate and that sort of thing. I'm honestly not that type of person. I'd rather be affectionate, say things, do things while we are together or other ways since we are in a long distance relationship. To me, it comes across superficial and not real. Some of my other friends do it and they are both married. One of them does it at all the time and his wife does it like posting pictures still from their wedding 2 years later or her ring on IG, FB etc. It just comes across fake and exhausting. I don't know. It's not that my gf thinks I don't care, she just wants more of that. I guess I just find it superficial, fake, want my privacy, and it's exhausting. I don't know. I guess that's just my rant haha.

 

no i agree, i think couples can be overally excessive with sharing personal lives on social media. i follow an old friend on instagram/twitter and every post she makes references her being engaged and/or a wedding post, it is just too much, haha. but i guess my opinion is i don't really see having to share every little detail on social media how "great" of a personal life you have, when it is just that personal.

 

I second the excess of sharing on social media. But I really think it's a matter of personal preference. I'm one of those people where you'd be hard pressed to find out any significant information on my life through any social network. The way I see it, when life is good I revel in those moments, and if something bad is going on, I'm too busy trying to deal with it than posting it on a page. Besides, if something really matters the close people in my life won't need social media to find out.

 

I used to not even change my fb status to in a relationship. I never put anything on social media about my relationship. Just ain't my thing.

 

I used to get into arguments with a former partner about Facebook. She wanted me to change my relationship status, make references to her, tell all my friends to friend her, etc. There was an initial argument as to whether I would even friend her on Facebook. I didn't care for that because I wanted my own space online. I conceded that. But, that just led to more and more inquiries. Sigh.

 

It is actually pretty strange how Facebook or other social media sites are now mediators of legitimacy in relationships and how people feel entitled to having access to your online space by virtue of just happening to be in your life. I don't care for that shit.