2018-2019 NFL Season Thread Football • Page 1111

Fake it til you make it

 

During my first interview, they told me they weren't interested in anything I knew how to do within 5 minutes. They told me all they cared about was one software I had never looked at before.

I lied. I lied my fucking head off. I lied more than I've ever lied in my entire life.

Totally got the job lol

 

I've been applying indiscriminately to jobs, some of them I don't even know what the hell the position is or what the company does. The other day I applied to be an "Event Manager" at some place called Standard Marketing Events. Apparently they liked my resume even though I possess no marketing experience. They asked me about marketing over the phone and let me tell you, the bullshit answer I gave them made no fucking sense. I even somehow related back to my current field (real estate appraising lol). They liked my answer and scheduled and interview. I don't even know if I could fake that one.

 

I just want you all to know that I’ve been building a 35 ft cable with 31 nodes on it today, and I really could’ve used some more arguments in here

 

What does this even mean

 

Ever heard of the movie Human Centipede? It’s like that but with cables

 

hot

 

Housekeeper*, Tropical Smoothie, Carrabba's (Host/Carside/Server)

*Was 16, pretended to have my own business, got paid like $100-$200 per house. good times.

 

well my third was technically working as a Comcast Rep in a Best Buy but I made actually $0.00 so I'm not counting it

 

Between being an estimator and a bartender I was also an A&R but it was for a startup and it totally tanked, I made nothing so I don't count it

 

Yeah the first week and a half I was in Jacksonville my job was literally walking in a circle around best buy for eight hours trying to sell people comcast. I made zero money and i quit via text the second i got a job lol

 

Best buy, computer lab at college, van driver for environmental company

 

I'm on my 9th job I think. Unless we count three Carrabba's as one but those were all VERY different places lol. Concord is suburban kids, South End was............something, and Jacksonville was unexplainably hot as fuck.

 

For paying jobs, my first three would be: grocery store bagger, Barnes & Noble bookseller, and film actor

 

I’m only on my third job lol. I was slanging pizza for too long

 

My managers are in front of my desk talking about the other office guy not doing work and I'm literally flipping back between DuoLingo, Spotify, and Twitter

 

One day one of us will order flowers. You're just playing the long game.

 

Why would I order flowers from somewhere in NC

 

so i can charge you $10 for me to send the order to a store where you are lol

 

Cold Stone (2 months)
Wherehouse Music (3 months)
Church Intern (1 year)
Jamba Juice (3 weeks
Pizza Hut delivery driver (3 days)
Yogurt Factory (3 months)
Safari Park food service (5 days)
Pay-less Shoes (1 week)
RA at my college (1.5 years)
Macy's (0.5 days)
Abilene Zoo (summer job)
Canvasser (1 day)
Nanny (2.5 years)
Real Estate Appraiser (current, 3.5 years)

I'll figure it out eventually

 

High school
-Starbucks

College
-Desk job at a dormitory
-More Starbucks

Virginia
-Olive Garden
-Flint Hill Public House & Country Inn
(Nice ass restaurant / inn by Shenandoah Nat’l Park)

-Telecommunications company intern (company was dying, CEO clueless, I helped with so many things I wasn’t qualified to do for 10/hour and hated all of them)

Baltimore (back to college)
-Outback Steakhouse
-Mount Vernon Stable & Saloon (downtown Baltimore rest / bar)

Maryland (after leaving college)
-Carrabbas
-GameStop (asset manager, hated it)
-O’Loughlin’s Pub (Annapolis MD bar / rest)
-back to Carrabbas and the damn internship, worked both to save to move

Jacksonville
-Carrabba’s
-Chart House

Lol I’m a degenerate. Chart House is literally the best job I’ve worked considering that Inn in Flint Hill had a manager who was verbally abusive to his employees

 

Every time I left restaurants to work another whatever job, I missed the higher earning potential and shorter working hours, and also missed having a job that kept me occupied the whole shift

I just need to go back to college for good

 

College is great

My work pays for my college so I get student loans and use them to pay off my credit cards

I am master strategist

 

this is the goddamn dream tbh

 

fun fact. there is a restaurant in my city, a little mom and pop shop, that used to be called Twisted Root for many years. and then like 2 years ago they had to change it to Twisted because they were gonna get the shit sued out of them since a different restaurant / company already had the name Twisted Root. all of their stuff still technically says Twisted Root, it just has the word "Root" scratched out because they didn't have enough money (and didn't care enough) to reprint everything to just say "Twisted".