(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 1333

this is my biggest dislike about dating / meeting new people. constantly explaining the same things over and over again and / or hearing the same answers over and over again. especially in the short amount of time that you heard and told these things to so many different people lol that would drive me batty. additionally, i'm not sure where you live and what your city all has to do as far as variety or bars / restaurants / activities, but my current city is small-ish in size (55k) but there are like 4 things to do here. so whenever a date or meetup happens, it pretty much has to happen at one of those four places (that i've been to since thousand times either with friends / dates or in general) which makes it even worse

glad none of the 7 dates / meetups were horrible or negative! that's a pretty impressive run, good scouting on the apps

 

like most, i lean towards saying, "do what you want!" but...

1. if you do get married in the same year, will your family show up or would they boycott it because of the superstition?

2. would they constantly mention it whenever something goes bad - or even appears to go bad regarding one of the marriages?

3. do they believe this enough to shun you / your wife from the family?

4. have they always felt this way? or is it new? do they have any "logic" or experience to why they have this belief? any way you can show them that it's just a superstition and maybe get them to change their minds?

 

It looks like I have something lined up this weekend, hopefully that's cool

 

If my family refused to show up to my wedding because of some superstition then I no longer have any blood family. That’s stupid as fuck, imo, and incredibly insulting to me as a person. That would then render 2-4 irrelevant for me, @marsupial jones

 

This is so accurate. And definitely where my head should be right now.

Yeah, I really hope I’m just overthinking this. I probably am. Thanks.

I don’t think my sister could ever hate me for this. They’re all cool people to be honest. We grew up a religious family. That didn’t really work for me, it did for them which caused the distance in perspective. I try to approach things with reason, but they are more traditional (so even superstitions like this get passed down). They genuinely think it causes bad luck, and I guess they’re more worried than angry? For all of us. They only have good intentions for sure, that’s why it’s harder because I feel like I’m breaking their hearts.

I think I answered the questions here with my reply above. They wouldn’t boycott or anything I’m sure. But it is going to cause a bit of tension for a while, something I’m not really looking forward to especially since I’ve been really unstable lately. For #4, I actually searched just to see if I can find a loophole, but nothing. It was an interesting read though. I would’ve appreciated it way more if it wasn’t interfering with my future haha. It’s called “sukob” and someone actually made a movie out of it.


I’m way more calm now. Thanks so much. Something happened this year that made me a bit afraid and distant towards people, and that made me constantly second-guess my decisions. But reading all of your advices have been helpful. Def will hold on to them.

 

The highest grossing Filipino film of all time according to wikipedia. wow

 

Lol i had no idea. That movie was so bad

Can’t wait to share that info to my SO

 

damn i was about to seek it out!

 

It also makes it hard to get a vibe when all the people I talk to send 2-3 messages a day, like I get busyness but hard to get to know someone when they slow as molasses to send messages

 

it is so hard to talk to people now because like adult life and the fact I work from 3 pm to midnight so everyone is asleep when I am awake.

but I love my job so EHHH

 

Do what I do and don’t sleep

 

you and @ComedownMachine never sleep it seems

 

Weddings are a scam. Spend that money on a honeymoon trip or a house and get married at the county courthouse and throw a party instead.

 

are the weddings you go to not parties?

 

No. There's too much ceremonial and religious bullshit

 

Enjoy this rare occasion I agree with you

I hate wearing suits

 

real talk: you said a bit ago that you were going to make a conscious effort to not pursue women for a bit, and you seem to have kind of done anything but haha. you say you just want sex, but bear in mind that’s what you and Cait thought you were to each other at first as well, and this previous ex of yours left you in ruin for a bit. i say this because you and i are very similar in this way. what you are doing is almost exactly what i did after my last breakup before meeting my current gf.

not saying anything you are doing is wrong, just that you’d be well-advised to go in with a clear understanding of what you do and don’t want because, like me, i think you’re someone that can let the heat of the moment lead you around and make you do stuff you might wish you didn’t do lol

 

the weddings you go to probably suck cause who would invite you to a wedding?

 

woah, wearing a suit is boss level. I mean I'd hate it if I wore one every day to work, but weddings/going to the races etc, suited and booted.

 

for sure. my partner and i both have agreed that if we get hitched it’s going to be in a family member’s back yard with 15-20 loved ones and a grill lol

i fucking love wearing suits

 

No this is great advice, I have entertained talking to people on apps because I just like to converse, and that's probably not right. With Clancy (this ex) yeah it's scary territory. We just get along so damn well. Idk, I am definitely better off just being alone. Idk man, I feel like I am incapable of being in a healthy productive relationship not matter what.

 

The absolute truth in my life is I need to be single and work on myself big time, and I know that, its just so damn hard.

 

I used to hate weddings cause all the ones I went to as a kid were basically boring church services. Since I’ve gotten older all the weddings I’ve been to have just been big parties and I love em.

 

weddings suck and I rather avoid them

 

nothing wrong with talking to people on apps to kinda keep the rust off at all imo. also to that last part: it feels like your last relationship was pretty healthy and not something that failed because of you, but rather because there were some intangibles that just weren’t there and can’t be forced. you’re a very different guy now than you were with Clancy if my time talking to you on here is any indicator