(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 41

Whoa, whoa, whoa...Kids? What kinda thread is this?!

 

9!? Holy-moly.

 

I want kids and you all should too.

 

Got a vasectomy a year and a half ago. Haven't had a second thought about it since.

 

Can you PM me details? I really want one, but my wife is strongly against it. Details, pain, time frame, etc.

 

Would it be creepy to say happy birthday to an ex of mine via facebook message instead of posting on her wall? Haven't spoken to her since (I think) I did it last year; we left only on slightly negative terms, no hatred at all really, but I'm worried she'll get pissed at me for thinking I'm doing it to try and get back together with her. This was a HS relationship btw

 

I think if you have to ask, you're better off just not doing it.

I mean why deal with the potential unnecessary drama if she happens to misconstrue what you're doing?

 

Yeah, I don't see the point in messaging her at all.

 

call your local radio station and request a song for her birthday.

 

Better yet, send a mariachi band to her work.

 

Call a local radio station to play mariachi music for her? Or should I join/start a mariachi band and go to her work? I don't know where she works so I should probably get in contact with the government or someone to find out...

AWESOME ideas in this thread! I wonder if Mariachi El Bronx are available...


paranoid about things so /s

 

go to her office with a Mariachi band and do a NPR Tiny Desk performance.

 

i don't know if it just happens to me, or if it's the sick way the world works, but how quickly when talking with someone new do they bring up the topic of kids? what is the okay amount of time to let pass before it seems like an okay topic and not weird and "oh my god she's gonna try and steal my sperm while i'll sleeping to make a kid" too soon? my answer: one year.

i swear within HOURS of talking to someone the conversation goes from: families, friends, siblings, WHEN DO YOU WANT KIDS? HOW MANY KIDS? HOMESCHOOL OR PRIVATE? WHAT WILL BE THE NAME OF OUR FIRSTBORN?

Is that normal at 28? i figure it's like, "okay, time's ticking, i want kids so i want to know who i'm dealing with right away so i don't waste my time" but it comes across as, "I'M CRAZY AND SUPER RUSHING AHEAD WITH A STRANGER ABOUT A VERY IMPORTANT LIFE DECISION... WHY ARE YOUR PANTS STILL ON?"

 

@iam1bearcat
Everyone is different. I went on a first date with a very attractive person and within an hour I was asked if I wanted to start a family, when, and when would I like to settle down.
Granted I've gone on dates with people of similar age and not asked said questions so it really just depends.

 

Are you me? Because this is me to a T. I worry so much about bringing a girl to meet my parents because of these exact same reasons, and it freaks me out considering it.

 

I'm only 24 but if a girl started asking about kids in the first few months, I'd NOPE the fuck out of there.

 

I think it's fair to ask if someone wants those things pretty early on. No sense in wasting time if ppl want different things. In terms of discussing doing those things together it prob depends on the couple but I have commitment issues so we'd probably have to be together for a long while

 

I think it's okay to mention having kids down the road to get an idea of what you're even getting into, but being forceful about it on a first date is kinda crazy.

 

it probably also has to do with a person's past relationships-- maybe they feel like they know what they want, and want to be with someone that feels the same way, especially if in the past they feel like they've wasted their time. bringing it up in a hypothetical way is a lot different from asking about specifics though, that's definitely something that should come up between people that have a solid relationship foundation, not relative strangers.

 

Oh yeah, my parents -- well my mom, specifically; my dad is pretty quiet about most things -- was all up in the business. "We just thought Mike was gay at this point hahahahahahahlololhahla" and dumb jokes like that. But it was only one or two times of that and then it subsided, thankfully. Now I just get a message or a word of like "don't fuck it up, she's awesome" from my parents which is a completely different weird pressure to have placed on me.

 

I think this is exactly right. It's a big enough subject that heading down a road with someone who feels completely different than you do is something you need to know quickly. But it's more their feelings on the broad topic of kids, not "what will their names be!?" That specificity is a bit weird and off-putting, to me.

 

I think it's appropriate to ask pretty early on. It just helps you get to know someone. I think it's a very interesting topic to discuss- wanting/not wanting kids

 

Wanting to know the details wanting to have kids and when early in a relationship or potential relationship sounds crazy mccrazy. Even though it's an odd question I wouldn't want to waste my time dating a guy who wants kids in the future if I don't. I have really bad genetics and don't want to pass them down. Don't want to take any chances. On top of everything I know I'll never be able to give a child what I want to give them. Don't want to let them go through the things I went through.

 

In college I let my family meet my boyfriend at the time and it was so awkward/weird, I never brought another one around.

 

i guess i would have no issue talking about the children topic with whomever im dating at the time however far along we are into the relationship, or if it is just a casual first date. the way i look at it is you are being honest on the stance you have about having them and it can kinda give you a long term idea of what the other wants if it is early on. if they just ask if you ever plan on having them or want to, i would think that is fine as it seems common enough. but if you have someone saying "LETS HAVE A CHILD", in what it seems to be premature to you, then those might be some red flags.

i think i would want one child, probably when im around 33 or so. my sister has three boys, and i could never imagine dealing with that amount 24/7 ever.