Mental Health Thread • Page 220

Asperger's isn't a mental illness but I think it does affect my mental health so I figured I'd post this here.

I suspected I had Asperger's for years because I realized I share a lot of traits with friends on the spectrum and I did some research on other traits I have. Anyway...I finally got the diagnosis from my therapist yesterday. I don't feel bad about it, I know there is nothing wrong with it, but it does feel kind of weird to have it confirmed. I guess it's like, I'm 25 and I've had this condition my whole life but I'm just getting the diagnosis now? I know it's very under diagnosed in women so it makes sense, but it still seems weird. I don't really know how I was expecting a diagnosis to make me feel. I wanted it because I felt like I couldn't really talk about it if I just said to my therapist or other people on the spectrum "I think I have Asperger's" but didn't have the diagnosis. I don't feel comfortable telling people who aren't on the spectrum about it because I'm afraid they would only see me as someone with Asperger's, but I would like to talk about it with friends who have it, although I'm not sure they'll actually want to talk about it. Also, I got my "social anxiety disorder" diagnosis taken away because my therapist thinks all of my anxiety is due to my Asperger's. Otherwise I'd have five diagnoses. I feel like I'm basically collecting them at this point. She almost wanted to lump my OCD and Asperger's together, but I told her I think some of my OCD symptoms are not related to Asperger's at all. I also feel weird because I don't really know where to go from here...I guess I should find some resources and maybe start CBT for my symptoms? I'll figure it out I guess.

 

Last session with my therapist :( :( :(

I'm most def gonna cry during it and then cry whenever I think about her because she has been the only person to really show me kindness and care without using it later to take something from me.

 

It's hard for me because I'm probably on the spectrum but i don't fit the asperger's profile, I have issues with social interaction and cues but I don't have a lot of the classic symptoms

In some ways I don't want a diagnosis and i'm very stubborn about that but also I don't fit in anywhere

 

I hate anxiety! Ugh. I have to make some simple phone calls regarding my paycheck and it’s so hard to just dial the numbers and ask a small question. For one, in afraid of sounding dumb, and the other I’ve been dealing with so much bs for months...I just want an answer from someone who knows what they’re doing

Edit: the person I talked to was no help whatsoever. Pretty much said “send a fax...” I had to ASK for the fax number and other info. Didn’t really sound like they knew what they were doing

 

Didn’t know where else to put this. One of the nurses I work with sometimes is a manager at one of the hospitals I’ve applied to. She gave me some pointers about applying and how they select people for interviews and what interviews are typically liked. I told her how I applied before a while back and got a rejection email back from a recruiter (which probably means my resume was fine, but they found more qualified people during that time). Also told be which positions I should apply for and other places that are usually always hiring

 

my bank is trying to starve me. i've been touch and go with my income but i've made sure i've never spent more than i was making, yet i'm still be bombed with overdraft fees. i have the money coming in but its always a day late or sometimes on the same day, and i'm still being penalized. all i'm trying to do is eat and at this point almost every meal i have costs 40. i'm fucking tired. i want to close the account but i also need it for venmo transactions. i'm so tired of being beat up by this system as i'm making a lot of really great personal progress in my mental health treatment. i hate this shit,

 

I'm getting tired of being asked how I'm doing. Nothing has changed in the past 48 hrs. Everything is just steadily getting worse

 

I was doing better, but I’ve been getting worse these past several weeks. My anxiety won’t let me focus on any task because I’m nervous and worrying about everything.
I’m trying new techniques and coping mechanisms. Some are working and some aren’t. I’m reading more and it’s really helping. I’m trying to stay away from my phone and that’s helping too. I’ll keep it in another room. I feel like these steps are minuscule compared to my decline lately.

 

I was offered an interview for today but realized the clothes i have aren't really nice and more for comfort, and not the cleanest since I've been bouncing around places and being outside a lot. I don't even have a way to print my resume out and its just now coming to me that I'm not in a condition to be job hunting but also idk what else to do besides get into illicit activities til I get back on my feet

 

@scroopy.noopers I'm creeping, but I saw you posted in the NYC thread... check out your local public library. they more than likely have free printing services and resume feedback. idk your gender, but there are charities like dress for success (for women) and career gear (for men) that will provide clothes and other services before interviews. best of luck. edit- I know I'm just pointing to resources and I don't know your whole situation... but I'd encourage you to at least go to the interview. the worst they can do is say no! bad interviews = practice

 

Thank you! I didn't think about the library. I usually use my schools but I'm really far from campus right now. I won't have time to do all of that and still make the interview, but I'll look into that place for clothes so I'm more prepared for this. Thanks :)

 

I don’t know where else to put this, and I’m at a total loss for how to deal with this.

My sister(who’s 30)was arrested yesterday. It came as a huge shock to me, and my dad who was with me. He got two voicemails from a jail not saying it was my sister though. He knows my sister lives in the area where they called from. So he texted her asking if everything was alright. Turns out when I asked my mom if she heard from her my mom called me immediately saying yes she’s been arrested. My sister is the nicest/sweetest person I know. I guess my mom said she wasn’t herself last couple weeks. Acting very agressive/emotional. All her friends have been saying the same thing. My mom said she was taking anti depressants which I wasn’t aware of. My dad immediately started getting more concerned since we didn’t know that, and was looking up what she was taking. There’s all these terrible side effects.

Anyways it’s just a recent thing. She’s never had any mental health problems or any run ins with the law. We were gonna go to her arraignment hearing tomorrow. Though now the deputy called my mom saying she’s gotten worse, and acting very bizarre. We go a hold of her old therapist, and she said they’ve been trying to start weaning her off the meds over the past month. Part of me hopes she’s admitted so she can get the help she needs because a jail is not going to help her. Again my sister has had no issues like this before so it’s so bizarre that she’s exhibiting this behavior at this age. Isn’t it more around your early-mid twenties you would start showing signs of manic depression/bipolar behavior?

I’m just really upset right now, and feel so bad for my mom. She’s been very reasonably upset. Don’t know who else to talk to about it. My wife has been very helpful. Nobody I know irl has had to deal with this so I thought I would share on here because I know how nurturing this website/community is with mental health. Thanks.

 

Just applied for two jobs I know will make my anxiety rise but are two jobs that could lead to something better.

 

Not everyone is the same in sense that they develop something in their 20s. If she is bipolar and only taking antidepressants, it could be causing some kind of manic episode? I hope she gets the proper treatment soon.

 

Thank you I appreciate it

 

I need to stop putting people on pedestals and realize people are just people but the fact that they're people stresses me out! I dont know what people are thinking like there's some piece to the puzzle that everyone else has that I'm missing. Like there's some key to the conversation I dont have and I'm just so lost. And my self esteem is so low I just feel like other people are on this higher level or like plane socially and idk what to do. And seeing other ppl form friendships or strike up conversations all around me while I struggle to do the same just reaffirms that to my brain. I have to do something anxiety-provoking tomorrow and I'm trying to reassure myself that they're just people and they dont want me to fail or be my demise or something like it's not a huge deal, but my brain just stops at ahhh people!!!! And I choke. Like I know other people have issues too but I tend to separate myself from everyone else. Like there's People and then there's me, who tries and fails to imitate being a human

 

Weaning off Effexor is...... not fun. And started Trintellix on Tuesday.

 

god i feel this so much

 

I don't feel close to any of my friends right now. I have a lot of anxiety about whether or not I'll make friends in Portland (Maine)...logically it seems inevitable that I will, but it's hard to be rational with anxiety. And leaving my hometown has me thinking about everything that has happened here since I was a teenager (I'm 25 now), which means thinking about trauma and a lot of things I'd rather not think about.

On the bright side I started playing bass again and it was fun and I'm bringing it with me to college (with a headphone amp) and I'm just sooo glad I'll always have music when everything else sucks. Also really grateful I got into a school I really wanted to go to that's just outside one of my favorite cities - and they gave me enough aid that I can afford it, which is huge because money is what kept me stuck and miserable in my hometown for years. And people at the support group I went to were really nice to me today (they always are) and I found a pretty good job in Portland that doesn't start until I move there, and I bought a ticket to see Kim Gordon with my friend on Sunday.

I guess things are good and bad for me right now and I have to learn to allow myself to process the bad stuff without forgetting to appreciate the good.

 

I did my anxiety situation thing and it was fine just like I logically knew it would be but my hands were legit shaking so bad omfg. But I did it and it turned out well I think. I just dont know how to overcome that. Like when you logically know you will be fine but the anxiety is so terrible every time regardless. I try to breathe and listen to positive music beforehand and remind myself of how I'm safe and try to humanize people instead of freaking out about them, but it still happens every time. Like I put myself thru such stress and awfulness to be okay every time

 

I hate this so much. It’s like “please brain just relax?????” Glad you did the thing though! It sucks to go through the stress of it, but hopefully you felt better afterward!

 

Coming off Effexor, starting Trintellix, and trying not to catch feelings for a girl I’m just sexting is all making me very, very emotional right now. I wish I just had some Xanax (which I’m thankful I don’t bc I’d def be high right now if I did).

 

I hate how much of a pushover I am

 

Coming off Effexor is really awful (very nauseous, emotional, dizzy), but I’ll never forget how I felt when I stopped taking klonopin. I was still in school and I remember one day I blacked out for a second while I was walking on campus. Scary as hell.