The Parenting Thread • Page 61

We’re definitely very, very fortunate. My wife has worked at the daycare (she teaches the children there with special needs) for the last ten years so her boss lets us keep our son there free of charge. It’s still hard, but I really appreciate having the time that we get with him as a result.

 

Just saw this on Reddit

Dads of reddit, what is your advice for new dads? • r/AskReddit

 

Just got home from the hospital. My daughter, Olive June, was born Monday evening. 8 lbs. 4 oz. 20 inches long. Insane amounts of hair.

 

Adorable. How old is your son?

 

We don't do daycare cuz we can't afford it and don't really see the sense in my wife getting a job solely to cover daycare, so my wife stays home with the kids. My son will be starting Mother's Day Out this fall though 2X a week. We're pretty worried he'll get kicked out though cuz he doesn't listen for shit

 

That is so much hair! Congrats!

 

I think we finally nailed down the Montessori school we want to send Ash, and I'm worried about the same thing. He's antisocial as well. But we're hoping this breaks him of that, so we'll see.

 

He’s two years, nine months. He’s having a hard time with this, but today has been nice so far. He keeps walking over to her and offering her a pacifier or blanket when she cries. Helps me feel like it’s going to be okay.

 

My biggest advice: PATIENCE

There's going to be a lot of new and unexpected things happening every time you turn around - through pregnancy to birth to raising your kids. Being a parent requires uber amounts of patience from both partners. I'm certain with pregnancy and once your daughter arrives, certain things will test your relationship - and your sanity. Everyone must be patient, think things through and realize you're now doing everything to give your child the best possible upbringing. I used to be a very impatient person (still am with many things) but with my wife being pregnant several times and being a dad to two kids, I've learned to sit back, take a breath and think before I do or say anything.

If it helps you any, my wife and I were only dating for about 8 months when we found out she was pregnant with our first child. We had already been living together, which helped...and we actually bought a house a few months before our son was born (which I was planning on doing anyway) so we were in a decent position, but it was still a very big challenge just because it was something so unexpected happening in our lives. My wife also had very difficult pregnancies (hyperemises - extreme morning sickness throughout all nine months) so patience was beyond key.

 

Just wanted to add my little gremlin here. 14 months old and little man is so much fun.

 

Tbh I'm still Waiting for the fun part to begin with my son.

 

Our daughter is such a different baby than what our son was like. She has been sleeping through the night since about 6 weeks. I feel...lucky, and like one day she’s gonna turn on us and become a terror, but so far she’s the sweetest happiest little thing

 

Feel you on that one... I'm in new territory with my second kid as I was deployed from 6 weeks to 7 months with my first kid and so I missed a lot of the baby/always crying phase our new one is in. It's... tiring, to say the least. I leave in Aug for two months, feel sorry for my wife to do two kids without me but at least that will be the last time she's alone for the next three years with my current gig where i'm home every night.

 

How old is your son? My son will be 4 in September and he's my little mini me. It's awesome. We go to the gym together, the pool, the park, we'll watch sports, ride bikes, listen to music...he's pretty much into anything I'm into.

 

My son was very similar at first too and now wants nothing to do with her for the most part but he'll learn to eventually.

See the little one is way better than my son was as a newborn so it's pretty opposite ATM. He's still a pain in the ass though and he'll be 3 in September. I'm hoping over the next few years He becomes less wild and crazy.

He's almost 3. Like he had his moments he's just an absolute terror and pain most of the time that there are very few moments he's nice and sweet. I get it he's a toddler he's supposed to be like this but I just wish he was less of an asshole so young. Hoping things get better over the next couple of years

 

We had a rough few months with our daughter before she turned 3 where she was a terror a lot and we didn't really like going anywhere with her because of it. We've noticed that her verbal communication has improved quite a lot lately and I think that was part of what was causing it. She couldn't say what her mind was thinking and she would get extremely frustrated and scream. Also part of it is just the age, it's called terrible two's/three's for a reason.

 

What I have learned that helps with this age (my wife is a behavioral analyst so it helps a lot) is to ask them to tell you why they are mad instead of guessing what they want and going through 20 questions. It will not only de-escalate the situation quicker, but improve their verbal skills at the same time.

Example: NOT "Do you want ice cream?"
YES: "Tell me what you want to eat?" "Why are you so upset?"

Re-directing is also HUGE with this age group. Always have something in your hypothetical back pocket that they will instantly love. Ex. Favorite toy, snack, etc.

 

totally, my daughter is 3 now and i feel like open-ended questions like this in general have been great for getting her to think & express herself more.

 

I think a lot of parents unintentionally use leading questions. It is totally understandable though and it's hard to re-teach our brains to speak that way.

 

Yeah, we always talk my son down from a tantrum by asking him what's upsetting him and to calm down and talk to us. Typically helps.

The art of distraction is key too, and something my dad told me about before our kids were even born. Always try to distract them with something else they like before the meltdown even begins.

 

Happy for all of you that that has actually worked for.

 

I said ‘typically’ haha. Don’t get me wrong, there are tantrums where NOTHING works.

 

But what's his fav song off WYWTB?

 

That’s awesome, man. Perfect size, perfect everything. Congrats!

Expecting my 3rd in less than two months. Can’t wait.