Brand New Band • Page 843

Am I ... a virtue signaling SJW? Just say it instead of using a thesaurus my god.

I think aggression can be good. I don’t wonder why society is tearing itself apart either. I know why it is, and I want to win that battle.

 

You’re not trying. You keep asking us to explain your points back to you. You keep trying to argue about being civil and forgiveness and other respectability bullshit while not understanding rape culture and power dynamics and are violent heteropatriarchy.

Telling people in this thread, especially the survivors, that they shouldn’t feel certain ways or say certain things about an abuser is silencing them and perpetuating rape culture.

Telling people to have “civility” when discussing abusers is reinforcing power structure. JL and other abusers benefit from that, you’re not helping survivors of him, you’re protecting him whether you realize it or not.

Telling survivors that the onus is on them to “forgive” abusers continues violent heteropatriachy because again, the abuser benefits from that position.

That’s as much as I’m gonna post from mobile so take that and run with it.

 

Our society deserves to be torn apart because it was built to serve one subset at the expense of others.

Burn it to the fucking ground.

 

If we tear ourselves apart what’s left to win, man? And I believe that you actually believe you’re doing good. So I can take back calling you an asshole, at least. I serious think you people are on a bend that’s way too negative to lead ya anywhere good. Just look at the way you guys talk when controversial shit comes up. I’m at a loss for words at this point, frankly. So I’ll shut up for real this time. I seriously hope you people either straighten out, or that I’m seriously wrong.

 

"you people"

wat

 

There’s some good discussion about this topic in the accountability thread. I suggest taking a look there.

 

Lots. That belief is the undercurrent of virtually every revolution. How many times have I had the conversation around tone policing and how messed up it is to tell people to use a better tone about things? A hundred? At least. There are plenty of people that have, daily, conversations and explain this shit when it’s exhausting and they don’t want to. There’s pages and pages of it on this site and on the internet. There’s so many people in the last three pages that did this. You getting caught up on one person and telling them to be less angry is focusing on respectability politics above all else, and I think that shit can fuck off. First, who in the history of the world wants to be told to be less angry? Does that ever go well? Ever? Of course not. My advice is understand why someone is mad. And think, “I’m not as angry as they are, but maybe I can try and understand why that anger is there” and maybe looking at a lifetime of this shit happening and everyone worrying about the abusers feelings more than the people being abused plays a role in being constantly pissed off. And maybe that’s ok. Maybe it’s time to get mad at how abusers see no actual consequences and everyone worries about their feelings a little too much and at what expense.

 

Shit and I thought this thread derailed 6 months ago

 

Not sure how discussing the abuse and ramifications in the music scene by one of the biggest bands in the music scene in said band thread is derailment to be honest.

 

Definitely not the content of the discussion. Just the way it was handled by some. Not disagreeing with ya

 

I need about four beers after reading the last few pages.

 

Wow, this was actually a very stressful last few pages for me to read. I'll have to stay away from threads like this that discuss abusers. It's a very touchy and stressful type of situation for me to look through. I'm disgusted that abusers exist and it actually makes me feel sick to read the arguments about it, too. Discussions are good to have but I don't think I can handle to read them. It's a very near topic to me.

 

I'm very sorry you can relate - I wish nobody could relate, ever. Self-kindness is the most important thing and that means knowing your limits; please take care of yourself.

 

I pretty much never post in here anymore but I can't bite my tongue on this: it is absolutely frustrating watching someone have multiple women and survivors try and level with them and put in the emotional labor to explain why they feel the way they feel only to have said person completely ignore all of their posts in favor of arguing with other men. Going back into my lurking cave now but I couldn't let this one go anymore

Edit: Just realized I don't actually know Leerkat's gender and I'm sorry for assuming. Regardless, an "I hear you and appreciate your voice" would go a long way to demonstrating any sense of listening or willingness to learn in this scenario

 

Oh no, it def derailed for a bit. There was a LOT of Papa Roach in here lol.

 

Papa Roach times were the good times.

 

Haven’t kept up with much of this but seriously how have all these band members kept quiet on all this?

 

I hope your MIL gets better, sorry your family is having to deal with that.

 

Same, don't have the time to read 850 pages but wondering if anything else ever came out?

 

It's a question we've all been asking. There's no good answer.

 

Because they're scum

 

My personal assumption is that they knew or were made aware before November, and if they made a statement condemning his behavior they’d be outed for having been complicit. Probably just trying to save their own behinds at this point and let (most of) the blame lay at Jesse’s feet. Regardless, they should’ve AT LEAST made a statement telling their fans to back off the victims. Letting all that happen was truly disgusting.

 

they could've all said we don't stand behind Jesse and the band is done. instead they've chosen to just wither away in shame

 

Weren’t they selling out big venues before this?

 

.....?