Mental Health Thread • Page 187

There's something both humbling and depressing about having major life changes in your world and then feeling disappointed or dissatisfied when life goes on for everyone else as normal.

 

My birthday is tomorrow and every friend I have is out of town. I know tomorrow's gonna suck, idk why such a trivial thing has me so worked up.

 

Just had a panic attack cause I was already nervous about the plumber coming over to look at some stuff around the house (most of these negative feelings coming from the fear of having someone come in and move stuff around and “out of order”) and then the R.O. Guy came earlier than expected to change out filter and both were about to start work on the kitchen faucet and looked to me to see who should/can work under the sink first, and for some reason it just stressed me the fuck out. Everything worked out fine and they are both gone. now i feel exhausted and ridiculous

 

my ex/roommate/whatever baker acted himself yesterday (like involuntary psychiatric hold). I found out bc he doesn't have insurance and everywhere is full, he was sent an hour away to a place that doesn't do ANYTHING. it's basically a holding cell so that you don't kill yourself. There's no therapy at all which is like wtf how are you supposed to get out of a suicidal mindset if you're not even getting help??
I have been baker acted before and got to go to a private place bc I had insurance. It had therapy, group therapy, art therapy/activities etc. He literally has nothing. It's absurd and infuriating. and it makes me feel defeated. Every time we've tried to get help it's like we slip backwards and it's impossible to actually get help enough to pull ourselves up.
I also miss him so much bc I'm really codependent and feel like I'm missing my other half right now.
I'm real sad about it all.

 

i relate so much to this it hurts

 

its also a weird feeling when your change becomes the new normal and its like you had been doing it all along. five days into my job and its like ive always had this job and nothing's new

 

That's the point I'm hoping to get to I guess. I had an interview weeks ago and still haven't heard back and I'm gonna just have to move on soon cause I need an income, but I'm at a weird transition point. I knew my old job would continue on without me and I didn't expect the whole place to like shut down lol, but I left because of morals and principle and I was hoping my exit would change something but nope life goes on.

 

every time i leave a job it takes me so much effort to even begin looking for a new one, i didnt even start looking for a job until january and i quit my last job in august. i didnt even put in that much effort at first and it took me forever to land a couple interviews. but eventually i find something and before i know it everything's fine and i can breathe again. until i get sick of the job and start the process all over again. i really hope to one day make my audio work my main source of income because i hate having to hold down a job outside of that.

 

feelin bad

 

I feel really hurt

 

My former boss is telling employees stuff like I tried to make her life a living hell and I'm trying not to let it bother me but it does, because I'm not there to defend myself or my position. Like I quit. I'm not your problem anymore so why am I still the topic of conversation?? It's so unprofessional and I'm frustrated. Like if you can't take responsibility for your own actions then the least you can do is leave me alone. I try not to let it cause stress or anxiety but it does

 

I'm still up at 2:30 because I can't stop worrying about personal problems.

 

I can’t be myself because my coworkers are so uptight, don’t get my sense of humor, and I have nothing in common with them. The teachers lounge is so awkward.

 

always feel like a last resort friend. either way, appears I've basically gone off the radar to all my friends here in town, haven't heard or hung out from them in a couple weeks, even after sending a couple messages in the group chat to no reply. feels shitty.

 

I can't see you being anything other than professional but that is still shitty and toxic ( baby can't you see) and I'm sorry

 

just once i want to be the person who doesn't make the most money and isn't responsible for the majority of bills. from 2005 to now there has been a 5-month period where that wasn't the case in my life, whether i was single or in a relationship. i finally love what i'm doing, love it, but i'm gonna go have to find some mind numbing, soul crushing cube bullshit job to pay rent after this month is over and i am very close to angry about it

 

Feel like I'm getting dicked around by this company. Seemed like I had the job, then they had me do one additional final interview and then asked when I could start if they offered me the position, then radio silence. Was supposed to hear back by end of this week. I'm willing to give a little leniency since the HR person is out east and might not have been in the office due to weather, but this process has been just fucking going forever.

Just frustrated and exhausted by everything. Want to go to bed not hating everything for once. Started applying again to other positions (including one I previously interviewed for late last year, maybe they'll be interested in me again since whoever they chose might have flamed out...).

Basically, fuck everything, including my own dumb self.

 

I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately (more than usual) and was considering addressing this with my primary care physician next week in our routine twice-a-year visit. Was wondering if he could prescribe me something. But the thing is I like to drink and I keep seeing you shouldn’t mix anti-anxiety meds with alcohol. But I have friends who are open about taking meds yet socially drink. Should I seek if my doctor can prescribe me something without giving up alcohol?

 

My grandpa is in the hospital cause he's having problems breathing and with his heart and while I was driving with my sisters and nephew to go see him my car caught on fire. The entire thing engulfed in flames. My brand new $600 tires I haven't even paid for yet had to be scraped off the road with a shovel. And honestly one of the upsetting parts was my sister posting pics on fb and stuff. She didn't mean harm but I don't have social media so I guess I don't have that instinct. And it was images of my burned out car so it's personal to me and not her. When I asked her why she posted them she said "cause it's so crazy" and I'm like ok I'm sure it was scary for you and that's valid, but to me it's not just a crazy thing that happened. It's my car. It's the only method of transportation I have. I'm not working right now so it's not like I have all this money to figure out a new situation. I'm already stressing about finances. She can think it was stressful and scary but at the end of the day she didn't lose anything. Then having people I've never interacted with in my life commenting and sending prayers and praising the grace of a god I don't even believe in is also somehow frustrating even tho it's meant well. If I want someone to know something about me I'll tell them myself. Or maybe I'm just grappling for any control in this situation so I'm focusing my upset on all that and it's unfair. I'm not like mad at her just uncomfortable about it and I hate people knowing something about my life I didn't consent to, so I prob do just want control rn. I'm using my grandpa's truck while he's in the hospital but I have no idea what I'll do after. I dont even know if my grandpa will be okay. So like... idek. Weird day.

 

Rent where I live is about an average $1200 for a one bed room. Even studios can start at that price (but I'll never live in a studio). I remember when I can easily find a 2 bed (thats in a decent complex) for $800 only a few years ago. Run-down apartments run for 900. Ones that seem ok in terms of cleanliness, location, amenities etc have horrible reviews (which i can write about what I read, but I don't want to turn it into an essay). Even ok ones have horrible reviews with residents horror stories about living there. I really have no one to room with and my bf and I havent discussed moving in yet plus his least isn't up for a while. So stressful. Idk how people make it on their own

 

me and my girlfriend gotta find a cheaper place. i hate the process of finding apartments.

 

I have a mid term break from uni this week. They always come at the time I need it most. Hopefully I sleep better, and feel less tense and overwhelmed

 

My mom tries to be helpful but she just recites cliches and it only frustrates me.

 

That’s an overall tough experience. I completely understand your frustration with your car (car problems in general are terrible) especially while you’re dealing with other things.

I hope your grandpa is alright and makes a speedy recovery!

 

Thanks! I think things are finally getting stable and they're finding meds that work for him so hopefully he can come home in a few days. It's a lot to happen at once and it sucks but what can u do I guess.