(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 883

it is, but me and Jenn have been super cutesy. she kissed me on Sunday. she has also since reiterated she is sorry she isn't ready to take things faster. i feel like i'm cheating even though i am not. it doesn't feel great rn

 

How would she react if you were upfront told her that you were dating other people?

 

My gut says, not well. But lets see what he says.

 

ugh. i mean, not well. Jenn's had some nights out with friends that invited dudes they were trying to play matchmaker with, but she just winds up trashing them to me and flirting. i choose to believe her that she hasn't thought anything more of them because she is a trustworthy person. right now i'm just reminding myself that i haven't done anything wrong or shady. i'm not taken, Jenn has made it clear that she may not be ready to put a label to anything for a long time, and i haven't reciprocated any flirtiness with this other girl. but this is a beautiful, sweet girl who has been a blast in the time i've spent with her.

 

Seems prettyyyy tough not to give the new one a shot.

 

Imo, it’s pretty unfair to you to try and control your dating life and also not be willing to be with you. Not saying she’s doing that intentionally, but being vocally jealous while also not being willing to commit to you is kinda eh to me.

 

i think i have to. she's not the type that would want me to come home with her on date one or three, i know her that well at least. i don't think one night at the bar would evolve past anything but getting to know each other. it feels pretty good to be the one asked. i am leaning towards giving it a try but keeping Jenn in mind and not moving into anything without talking to her.

 

if anyone else is a big ole nerd who also likes board games don't fuck that up Shrek

 

i do think that if Jenn saw time running out she would really consider taking the plunge. but i've waited for her before to no avail - that's why we lost out on each other before, i couldn't justify going three months without seeing someone who was just across the bridge. on the same note, if i don't give her some benefit of a doubt i'm kinda failing her. it's only been two weeks.

 

like i can't even describe how perfect and great she has been.

 

Just go on this date. The worst that can happen is you don’t become an item, and the best is you meet someone wonderful who is ready for you now. There isn’t too much to lose here imo.

 

Rekindling an old flame then going on another seperate date is a bad idea imo Cam. If this was a new girl you were seeing, different story, but this is someone you have a past with. Fair or not, I think it is a bad idea.


Edit: if you dont mind putting the situation with the ex to risk, then go for it.

 

i think you're right. i've never done anything that resembles cheating, even in much younger/less mature years in situations where i was very tempted. i think i can keep this somewhere respectable.

 

goddammit

 

there is a lot of validity to this, too. it's not clear when she wants to go, i just know she said she can't this weekend so i assume it'd be the one after. i'll need to think on it.

 

Ok, but she can’t just dangle this carrot in front of him and give zero timeline for when she would be ready for a relationship. I mean, she can, but it’s unfair, in my opinion. At what point is it acceptable for him to go on dates with people? I dunno, nobody owns us and we should do what’s best for us in this department. Besides, it seems pretty harmless, though I do think it would be wise to be open with Jenn.

 

^^^^Yeah all of that.

 

to be fair, i don't think there's any carrot per se. i signed up for this, i reached out, i told her i understood her. i got one kiss and it was the first time i'd seen her in almost three years, it was a happy moment. i certainly don't think she's done anything worth criticizing.

 

I’m not saying she has, I’m just saying that when it comes down to it, you are not in a relationship with her. That doesn’t mean I think you should go out and sleep with everyone, but going out for a drink? I see no issue with that.

 

I ain't tellin him whats right or wrong/fair or not. I'm telling him the reality of it. Jenn will absolutely not be okay with it or take it well. What ex who is starting to rekindle a flame would? Put yourself in their shoes.

If my ex mutually started something back up with me then told me shes going on a date with another dude I would flip. It would bring back all the negative baggage I may have had before getting back together.

 

i feel this way too. i just hope it's not because i'm subconsciously trying to write myself a hall pass. i've got at least a week and a half to wrestle with this and figure out what the right answer is.

 

i really don't want to make old mistakes.

 

I mean Cam, lets dig a little deeper into this, if this date with a girl sounds appealing given your situation, there has to be fear and doubt about the ex right? I know rekindling stuff is all bubbly and happy at first, as is starting any relationship, but past the honeymoon delusional phase (which won't be as long if its with an ex) do you think its smart to persue things with Jen again? Like truly deep down do you?

 

It just sounds like there's a chance she might not even want to rekindle the old flame, so it would REALLY suck to miss an opportunity with someone who could potentially be great.

 

I have been in those shoes. My ex and I had started talking again and were open about the fact that we were talking to/seeing other people. It wasn’t the easiest thing to navigate, but it’s possible. Though what’s funny is that we both ended up becoming official with the people we were talking to, which is good cause we were not meant for each other at all