Daily AMA • Page 36

Wendy's chili is fine and Shake Shack's is pretty good.

 

That's really something coming from you

 

Subway is like the place where I eat at it even though I know it's terrible, and I don't understand why I eat there. It's a real mystery to me. Never had Jack In The Box but I've heard it's great drunk/high food. All the fast food pizza chains are bad, but honestly I have to say I think Dominoe's is the best of them; best of the worst is a dubious distinction though. Panda Express for me is just like a nothing place, like I've eaten there before but I don't seek it out and don't ever really choose it in any of the settings it's usually presented in (i.e. mall food courts). Never even seen an Eat'n Park.

 

Cigs, yes. Weed, no.

Shots fired

 

this is a good list, i have no idea what eat n park is so i'd swap that for pizza hut and that's probably my bottom 5.

 

I feel exactly the same about Subway. It's awful and I hate it and I hate myself. But it's next door to where I work and it's relatively healthy based on what I order. I'd go Papa John's > Pizza Hut > Domino's. J-in-the-B is great when fucked up, but that's the only time, it's awful when you're sober. Sort of like White Castle in that way (which I love when I'm stoned but will never eat sober). Eat'n Park is a chain diner with insanely fast service and insanely awful food. Never again.

 

Unacceptable, Ken. I expected more from you.

 

Coming from the guy who loves BWW, this means **** ****** to me.

 

The hell is that supposed to mean, Jep?

 

Firm hndjob?

 

fine dining?

 

I eat White Castle sober and unapologetically love it I'm garbage and deserve to be punished I know but I can't help myself somebody please save me from my sick desires I need an intervention cut my life into pieces this is my last resort

 

hey dude I eat wendy's chili sometimes so I guess I'm a motherfucking monster, I'm a monster, no-good blood-sucker fat motherfucker.

 

You eat a lot of fast food I'm just surprised not judging

 

Chili actually makes sense as a fast food item lol

 

NICE

 

I eat zero fast food. Bww and places like that don't count!

 

Can you heal me?

 

@Ken
You're on lunch and you go to your favorite pizza place. You go here twice a week and you've gotten to know the staff particularly well over the last few years. One employee in particular, Anthony, has really taken a liking to you over the last year or so and always chats you up when you go there. He's a little chatty and he asks the exact same question every time you come in and you give the exact same answer. Every. Time. For over a year. Every time you go in, the conversation goes exactly like this with no variation at all:
"Hey, Ken, how's it going buddy?"
"I'm alright, Anthony, how 'bout yourself?"
"Oh can't complain, another day in my little....slice...of heaven"
*Anthony laughs just as boisterously at his own joke as he did the first time he told this joke to you over a year ago*
"Haha yeah, so can I get a slice of pepperoni, a slice of supreme and a large coke?"
"Comin' right up, bud. *Anthony begins to cut the slices and put them on the plate in on the top counter between you two* So, big plans with the lady friend this weekend?"
"Oh, probably nothing too exciting, Anthony, what about you?"
"Me? Psh, I'll be here. *Anthony turns around to the counter behind him with the soda fountain and fills up your coke in one of those faded 1998 pepsi stock cardboard cups. he turns back around and places it on the counter next to your plate* Coke's on me, Ken, that'll be $2.24"

Because you've been so nice to Anthony he always comps you on the coke which saves you the dollar and tax every time you go in.

This day, however, you are feeling a little under the weather, but still want your pizza. You've got a headache and you just want to get in and get out without having to talk because your throat hurts and you sound like shit. Anthony, while very nice, has absolutely no ability to read a room and decipher if someone is trying to chat with him or if they're trying to get out. As nice as he is, you just want your fucking pizza and coke and you want to leave. But, Anthony wants to have the same agonizingly mundane and routine conversation with you even though you clearly look like you're sick and not feeling well.

Do you:
1. put up with the same fucking conversation again and suffer through having to give the same fucking answers even though your voice is killing you and you get your free soda with your pizza.
2. Tell Anthony your order immediately, ignore his joke, and then don't respond when he asks you about your weekend. he gets your order faster so you get out faster and you have less interaction with him. BUT, Anthony feels slighted and upset that you're not wanting to talk and not laughing at his joke, so he doesn't comp you on the coke this time or anytime in the future.

 

*borat voice*
no

 

Uhhh...filibuster.

 

1

 

wrong

 

shipoopi