Pinegrove Frontman Apologizes for Sexual Coercion

Pinegrove is great. Can someone explain where the implication is here?

Not to over simply this but it sounds like he cheated on his girlfriend who was also at one point cheating on her boyfriend with him. While it does sound complicated, I don't understand the implication or coercion.

 

Hmmmm. This seems...strange?

 

This is a dangerous line to walk.. how do you ever expect to find someone, fall in love, and have a sexual relationship? Lets also not forget that consenting adults, without feeling shame, are allowed to have sex.

 

I was literally about to post this. So he's not allowed to sleep with fans because he's in a band? I have a family friend who used to be in a band ( a band probably everyone on this site would know) and he met his wife at one of their shows.

 

Weird times, man.

 

Granted my old band in 2009 had like zero fans... but i meet my wife at a show. This is just wild.

 

Yeah, maybe I'm missing something, but I'm just confused by his statement.

 

I’m also confused.

 

What I don't understand about this scenario is that implies that there isn't always a power dynamic in a sexual relationship. There almost always is - it's called sexual polarity, and it is neither illegal nor immoral to take advantage of it.

 

huh...? what a weird situation

 

Not that I'm in any position to know to what degree he meant that - but on first read I took it as meaning he wouldn't partake in sudden sexual encounters with fans he meets at their shows. That's a very specific interpretation, and I'm sure he meant it more broadly than that, but I imagine the circumstances could be different if a relationship with someone he met at their shows patiently grew in a more balanced and manner, compared to where in the past it sounds like he's had one night stands that he now recognizes were too heavily due to the imbalanced power and influence he wields.

 

This was very cringe-y and convoluted.

 

I’m not sure I really understand what he did. What was the coercion?

 

This seems like an over-reaction based on the information we’ve been presented.

I mean, the world exists, relationships exist, and people aren’t perfect.

Good on him for being consciensous but there is some repressive guilt here that I think he might be feeling a bit to a much.

 

If a consenting adult chooses to sleep with him is it really an issue?

 

Selfishness through apology.

 

What do you mean by that?

 

I don't know what he did, but all I could gather is that he was shitty to a fan he was in a relationship and understands that his status as a front man of a popular band allows him to do such a thing and he is aware of that.

 

If I interpret it correctly it means that he talked about himself throughout.

But imo he was being self reflective and analyzing his behaviors and the mistakes he’s made. I think it’s ok to talk about that stuff. It’s ok to talk about how you view yourself after something happens and how you plan to move forward.

 

It would seem the lesson he's taken away from the person he's hurt is that consent may not be as black and white as he thought. This is an important time for celebrities (no matter what level of fame they may have) to realize they wield a lot of influence on teens and adults alike, and they need to bear that responsibility accordingly. Some might say he's overreacting to avoid relationships and sexual encounters with (adult) fans, but he may feel now it's not worth the risk of hurting someone who doesn't recognize the emotional influence he has, and it also sounds like he's becoming aware of some shitty things he's done in the past and needs to take a more clear-cut approach to avoiding opportunities for the behaviour in the future.

But I realize shouldn't be speculating on his intentions, nor do I mean either of my posts as a defense of him.

 

People also do this when they aren't celebrities or famous in any way. If someone becomes infatuated with you, you can abuse that power. Of course, that makes you not a great person morally, but if you're both consenting nothing illegal happened. It sucks, cause I don't know if there's actually a way to prevent it.

 

I see what you’re saying. I think these situations have a lot nuance to them. If a person in a band uses their influence/power to pressure someone into doing something they really don’t want to then that’s morally wrong, even if the person ultimately “consents”. If a couple of adults (one being a band member) hang out after a show, show mutual interest, and end up having sex then I don’t see a problem. I don’t think every situation like this is an abuse of power but I certainly see how it can easily turn into that.

 

So not sure what that statement really means, I guess like a bunch of other people. All their tour dates are cancelled. So are we still allowed to listen to them with a clear conscience? o_O

 

By apologizing he then controls the narrative to be solely about him being transparent but considering how vague and confusing the entire situation is, it isn't helpful. It's just selfish.