Pinegrove - Skylight (September 28, 2018) Album • Page 16

Whatever my view is, I reckon the band is probably done.

 

people on twitter saying this is a lot deeper than how evan presented it

 

I'm going to abstain from commenting beyond this while I reflect/listen, because I'm feeling purely selfish feelings at the moment.

 

this was kind of my hunch. What he described sounded like full consent and it sounded like he backed up the minute she voiced discomfort -- the tone of guilt indicates there's more to the story. It seems like the general vagueness for the sake of privacy, also kind of obfuscates some of the explicit behavior for which he feels the need to apologize in the first place.

Kinda like how Jesse said "sorry im a sex addict" instead of "sorry im a pedophile who preys on the naive"

 

Reasoning behind saying that?

 

I'm only refraining from commenting to find out if this is worse than the statement implies, but if all that is said is true I will still support Pinegrove

 

People saying "this band is done" already are absurd.

 

Just another band that I will delete from my music collection. These guys are for sure done.

 

"i have been flirtatious with fans and on a few occasions been intimate with people that i’ve met on tour. i’ve reached the conclusion now that that’s not ever appropriate—even if they initiate it. there will always be an unfair power dynamic at play in these situations and it’s not ok for me to ignore that."

not entirely sure how i feel about this part. i understand there is a potential for abuse of power, but there doesnt have to be? i think its fine if he just decided for himself that he wouldnt sleep with people he meets on tour or whatever but to basically say that fully grown women CANT consent in these types of situations is almost patronising to me?

 

Based on what I’ve seen on Twitter and the like, the immediate reaction from a lot of people is that they’re done with the band. I don’t see how Evan comes back into the scene after this.

 

come on... really? terrible comment. read the situation, hes clearly going to get help, people deserve second chances

 

That's a pretty knee jerk reaction though. I think the biggest part of this was Evan admitting he was wrong and actually taking time off to reflect/go through therapy for his actions. If there was ever a blueprint to follow for coming back, I think it's this.

 

Yeah, tbh as a woman I don’t get this. I feel like it is in some way denying/narrowing my choices because it’s perceived that I am always going to be the vulnerable party in such a relationship? That’s certainly not how I feel.

 

That part made me uneasy too. I get that he's saying there's an inherent power imbalance between a band member and a fan but does that mean he can only have relationships with other lead singers or non-fans that don't know who he is?

 

I don't think he's saying that women can't consent, but rather that there's too much potential he could manipulate somebody bc of his inherent privilege as a recognized performer. Which wouldn't be a problem if he didn't manipulate people, but....

 

Weird af comments from both sides. Obviously the "waiting to see how it plays out" angle is a bit problematic due to how weird and vague the statement was. At the same time, jumping to call the band over simply based off of the same vague statement is weird.

I hope the victim is okay. I hope Evan is being transparent in his response. I hope rehabilitation happens.

 

I mean... probably not a bad rule of thumb. I wouldn't require that of any artist, but it's definitely a safe play.

 

If only we held rappers to this standard. They’d all be cancelled.

 

I agree but that sort of reaction sticks. Rightly or wrongly Evan is now considered by many to be an ‘abuser’ and there’s no redemption for people of that ilk. Again, I personally disagree with making a judgment like that so quickly but it seems I may be in the minority.

 

I mean, where would that leave acts like Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, etc?

 

Not this shit again. Yes there are issues in rap, but we aren't discussing that today.

 

... which one is it?

 

From that statement, hes taking a step back, getting help. .. he made a mistake.. I have made mistakes as well. No one is perfect. if he wants to prevent things from happening in the future by getting help and setting boundaries for himself, I will support them moving forward 100 percent.

 

Same. Those boundaries where he mentioned not wanting to be in a fan/singer of a band relationship again is pretty telling. If you're an alcoholic, stay out of the bar.

 

I mean you know full well that these are different. I'm not accusing those artists of anything to protect from this scene's inadequacies. I'm stating that if artists can only date/have sex with people who don't know them, certain people basically can never date again and it's unfair to put these expectations on people.

I swear, sometimes people on here are looking for arguments haha.