(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 16

A bit confused with my current situation. Ex gf and I broke up back in December, after we broke up, we would still talk, talked for another month or so after we broke up, until she said that us talking is "pointless". Since she's said that to me, she's gotten into contact with me at least 1-2 times a week, whether via a text/snap or whatever. She texted me one time when I looked at her friends online dating page, asking "checking out my girlfriends online site eh" and than eventually said "don't worry, I was just kidding". She had heard that I was possibly coming back to work (we worked in the same building) and asked me if it was happening 2-3 times and said "everyone is excited for me to come back". She's asked me if I've gone on dates or have a gf numerous times. Sunday, she texted me and we ended up talking for 2-3hrs, it was like nothing changed. She asked how I was doing, what's new with me and what I've been up too, the usually. She told me about a guy at her work asking her out, which she said no to. I than ask her "what if I ask you out" and she responds with " you wouldn't do that".She asked me if I'm happy, I say yeah, I ask her the same question, she responds with "yeah usually". I ask what she meant by "usually" and she says she feels like something is missing in her life, doesn't know what it is, but feels like something is. She mentioned to me about going to a work friends bday thing last night, and said to me a couple times on Sunday "you should come to heather's tomorrow" (this is Sunday night). I ended up not going last night and she texted me asking me why I didn't go.

And now I can't stop thinking about the things she said to me during the conversation on Sunday, and if she still has some feelings for me still. Should I ask her to go out for drinks or dinner and maybe see where things go? I still have feelings for her, but I'm not sure where she stands.

sorry for the novel, thanks for any advice

 

Looks like we are coming towards the end here. I'm going to have to find an apartment.

 

so my mom wants to date this girl but i'm not attracted to her i told my mom that and she got mad was i wrong for telling my mom i wasn't attracted to her?

 

She wants you to date the girl, or she wants to date the girl herself?

 

no she wants me to date her and its her god daughter

 

I honestly thought the mom was the one dating "this girl" haha.

 

Man..I'm so sorry, Dom.

 

Yeah, she really doesn't have any right to get mad about that, it's completely your decision who you want to date. Parents can be like that sometimes though.

 

It was ambiguous haha

 

yeah cause she thinks we would be a perfect couple but i don't she is a family friend that's it but i think she likes me then that though

 

Not much I can say about that other than just do you, haha.

 

lol

 

This is hilarious...sup new bff. Me to a T! Hate that shit so much. "Um. I download fonts. I try to make recipes from Tasty videos on fb alone in my kitchen while I watch old seasons of Survivor. I have way too many level 100s on WoW. ???" UGH.

 

This sounds messy as hell. From what you've said, I can't work out whether she would like you to ask her out again or whether she is just checking up on you to make sure you're not moving on from her faster than she's moving on from you. Or, you know, something else entirely.

It sounds like you talk a lot, so if you're still interested in her and think that it could work (you never said why you split), then I think you should stop dancing around the issue and either ask her on a date or just ask her how she feels about the current situation.

 

The only thing I can say, is that if you don't break off connection with her entirely you'll probably never get over her. Breaking up but staying in touch is almost never a good idea cause you'll be in this weird gray area until one of you finds someone better.

 

After reading it again it is messy and I'm thinking I should just ask her out and see what could happen.

The worst she can say is no ya know

But it's usually her getting in contact with me I've never been the one to contact her. Like I said it's like clockwork she'll text/snap me at least 1-2 a week a we than talk like nothing has happened.

 

Long story short, I think this is pretty toxic. I'm not sure what else details there are or why you broke up, but I'd move on and cut off all forms of communication. Unless you want her back, but then again, I don't think that will end well either.

 

I was totally right to be worried about getting a second date. Got a message saying something to the tune of "On reflection, I don't think there's any future in us seeing each other.".

On reflection, perhaps you shouldn't soberly kiss people you don't actually like.

 

Thank you very much. I appreciate the words.

 

Both inferring something I didn't actually suggest and missing the other post which perhaps gave some context. Bravo.

 

I assumed you were saying,"she should not have kissed me if she wasn't interested." Therein lied my point of contention. My apologies if that was not the case.

 

So sorry to hear this. I'm right there with you, off to look at a new place tonight. It's the first time i've had to alter my living situation due to a break up and it's equal parts painful and liberating. I wish you the best of luck and i'm just a PM away if you ever need to vent or anything.

 

I think whether or not it's a good idea to meet up with her depends entirely on what you hope to achieve from it. In my experience break-ups usually happen for a reason. Someone else said it could be her checking in with you to see if you've moved on and I think that's a really valid possibility. It's hard to see your ex move on without you and I think it's natural to be curious about that after a break-up. Obviously it's also possible that she just misses you or still has feelings for you and maybe it's important to explore that possibility but you have to decide if it's worth it to also possibly just get hurt worse by having it fall apart again or something.

I broke up with my ex over a year ago now, at the end of February last year. We'd been together for a little over two years. He got a DUI six months into our relationship and continued drinking and hiding it and lying about it more and more consistently for the rest of it. He dropped out of school, didn't work the whole time we were together, and to top it off he was extremely insecure and paranoid and one of the most judgmental people I've ever known and that's putting it lightly. When we got together I was so enamored because he was smart and witty charming but I was unhappy for most of the relationship. I've dated on and off since we broke up but I'm still so mad about so many things and it's not that I'm terrified of getting close to anyone by any means but the idea of dating anyone seriously still sounds like a nightmare to me. I miss a lot of things about being in a relationship too but this is the longest I've been single in five or six years and it bums me out a little to think I spent half of my 20s in relationships that didn't work out and ended up feeling like a massive waste of time.

That was all unrelated to the quoted story but we broke up after a really shitty drunk confrontation and he went into rehab and I visited him once a month or two after we split and barely spoke to him after that. Months later he messaged me on OkCupid which was where we first started talking and said some crap about "Oh man, I was dreading I might find you here. I just wanted to say hey and I hope you're doing well but we should probably block each other." and I felt like he only did it to make sure I knew he was back into dating again too once he saw that I was? Or something. It just seemed so strange and stupid and pissed me off even more lol.

Long post is long.

 

It is pretty toxic, she confuses the hell out of me and contradicts herself with things she says to me about what happened with us.

Would I get back with her? I'd entertain the idea of it yeah, but like I just said, she contradicts herself with the things she tells me. She now tells me she's "with " her ex, but yet told me the other day she isn't happy and that something is missing. I mean why does she care so much about whether I have a gf or that I go on dates? She was the one who wanted to break off all communication but yet still reaches out. She also said to me ( I have a friend in jail) the other day " is so and so still in jail? I drive by the jail every day and want to ask you if he is but forget to"