The Dangerous Summer Band • Page 56

that doens't really go to the core of the point i was making. having empathy and understanding for someone's behavior doesn't mean they aren't held accountable or disincentivized from hurting others.

i actually think it'd be dope if aj apologized. the main thing was getting at less demonization of the evil "other" and more examining your own selfishness and trying to understand another who behaves they way they do, using aj as a specific example.

 

people make mistakes. horrible mistakes, even. especially as a child. it's up to that person to show they've grown by having accountability and making amends for their mistakes, if that's even possible.

 

But you said he "clearly evolved" from the person involved with that shit. That evolution doesn't have to include an apology and acknowledgement of how messed up it was?

 

why do i have to empathize with/understand someone rubbing cream on their junk and loading up someone's property with photos of it? my dumb ass had more respect for women than that when i was like 13.

 

and i mean, like, to take a probably unnecessarily lighter stance, accountability is important! people use "call out culture" as a pejorative because they think we just shun anyone who does something bad but most of the time it's all about the response! it's about the accountability and the making it aware that you know you did something bad and you've done all you can to make up for it and you've grown and given back and made wrongs right. most people who do horrible things don't do that correctly

 

yea man, totally agree.

like i said before people should totally be held accountable so behavior that hurts other people is put to an end. but it's more about the energy behind the shaming of others that's the problem.

and i'll disagree that call out culture as it currently stands is a good thing. i think it's just another form of ego that perpetuates the cycle of shame that exists in the world, making things worse instead of better.

but even if someone doesn't apologize or even evolve at all, they're not a shit person. just a person, in pain. which is probably the most controversial point i was trying to make

 

What about, to use an extreme and unrepentant example, Harvey Weinstein?

 

yea man, especially those who behave in such extremes. people who are internally fulfilled and in a state of love and happiness don’t need to compensate to the degree harvey did.

the finger pointing, demonization, and shaming of others -- as if they’re this terrible entity separate from you and you’re this perfected being -- is one of the deepest cultural problems right now in terms of creating unity, healing, and psychological evolution.

it’s essentially disintegrated, fractured psyches shaming other disintegrated, fractured psyches in never ending cycle of pain.

people are just trying their best to make the world a better place, but the way we’re going about it only hurts others and ourselves.

i dunno, i don’t usually post stuff like this because most people have their immovable perception, which is totally fine. but sometimes i like to put some ideas out there just cus i enjoy writing and in case someone resonates.

 

Don't know who this is gonna resonate with, honestly. "Fuck Harvey Weinstein" isn't exacty a controversial or debatable opinion. But good luck with that, I guess.

 

How self righteous to expect dudes to not be creepy assholes am I right. Hopefully this resonates with someone love 2 resonate with people

 

Yeahhhh no. I recognize im not a perfect being but im not looking to liken a rapists behavior and psyche to my own— i feel VERY comfortable villainizing someone as disturbed as that. We should be focused on protecting victims and survivors of sexual abuse. Any semblance of empathy/humanization toward abusers is a step backward from social progress imo

 

Very self righteous this didn’t resonate with me at all

 

Very gross and disappointing to learn about this. I was gonna try diving back into this band's discography because I never really got into them, but I'm just gonna turn the other way now. Fuck them.

 

finally someone's picking up what i'm putting down.

for real sometimes i have thoughts that wanna come out and they spill onto this forum. i really only have good intentions and wanted to shift people's thinking in a potentially more compassionate direction, since it's what i struggle with daily too. tho this probably wasn't the best venue for it and kinda knew i'd be shit on

 

i can't speak for Ken, but i'm pretty sure he was being facetious with that comment

 

i know i was intentionally misinterpreting it for funzies

 

why are we using "funzies" when talking about a serious topic such as the continual disrespect of women by men?

 

Maybe shift your compassionate feelings towards supporting victims instead of defending abusers.

Idk that's just my thought

 

it was just my way of brushing off my thoughts being hit with misinterpretation and sarcasm. i'm obviously not trying to make light of the subject.

you can try to paint me as some villain but what am i really talking about here? i've said several times i don't condone behavior that hurts others and all steps should be taken to end it.

i'm just shedding some light on the often hateful and shame spitting energy that comes out whenever we call out other people -- that same energy that's now being directed at me. it's really fine and to be expected but all i'm putting out is a message of love and understanding. tho i've acknowledged it was probably the wrong venue to do so

 

people who are abusers do not deserve love and understanding

 

Dear lord.

 

alright you're at where you're at. it's cool really didn't expect many people to get it and that i'd be shot down.

 

why should abusers get any sympathy if they don't admit it? even if they are as you say "fractured people," what should we do to make it so they don't hurt anyone else?

 

I want to point out that anytime someone decides to drudge up a “Devils advocate” style of discussing it usually devolves into “well clearly you all just don’t GET IT” and it just makes you look like you’re attempting to mask your frankly toxic interpretations as some type of “im just discussing and trying to understand” scenario. It should be pretty easy to condem these situations without having to give long-winded excuses.

 

you can literally sum up what i'm saying to "choose love and empathy toward all beings instead of hate and shame while also taking all steps to create the most well being for all humans and protect them from those who do them harm". i don't see how that's toxic