Sexism/Feminism/Womanism Discussion Thread Social • Page 81

It's illegal but he will get a slap on the wrist.

Rob Kardashian Shares 'Revenge Porn' of Black Chyna: Expert

 

Nothing like scrolling through Facebook and seeing that your mom wished your assaulter and his wife a happy anniversary.

Nothing like it in the world.

 

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

 

I want to believe that maybe they still just don't get it - see, I still interact regularly with Todd's mom on Facebook. She is and has always been a kind, wonderful person, and I am comfortable with that compartmentalization. But maybe they see that and think "oh it's all good"...

I really never wanted to have to write the message I am going to write this weekend to my immediate family.

How do I tell them that by choosing any type of relationship with those two means they are sacrificing any future relationship with me? Full stop.

 

So re reading my posts about the necessity of debate and I don't take that back.

However, Laci herself has become quite a mess now (see lgbt thread), so yeah. I'm still going to listen to the upcoming debate re: gender and see where it goes, but she's saying a lot of stuff that's ignorant, misunderstanding and sounds more centrist (aka RW enabling lol).

 

Music festival to be female-only 'until men learn to stop sexually assaulting women'

 

I am late on this (haven't logged in for a few weeks) so you may have already handled this, but... here's what I can draw from re: my similar experience.

I tried to ignore that my one-time best friend refused to cut out my abuser and his girlfriend (who was complicit in the abuse - long story) and maintain a friendship with him for 3 years. In May, after avoiding me at a gig we both went to, he tweeted something publicizing that friendship and it absolutely broke me. I snapped, blocked him on everything, and sent him a text saying "You're a fucking coward" before blocking his number. That was how I came to terms with the fact that these people really can't have it both ways - especially because of the PTSD, it is literally detrimental to my health to have to see that.

That being said, it isn't my family and my abuser wasn't a family friend. My entire heart goes out to you because I know how much that hurts. (I was inseparable with the guy in question for years - I considered him a brother and became part of his family. Still not the same as my mom, but... the love was there, is my point, as was my naive expectation that the love meant he'd do right by me.)

So here's my point: I don't think there's a good way to tell them other than to say exactly what you mean, and then make sure you enforce it. That's the part that's so hard. I had to blow up the bridge in order to force myself to really sever the tie - otherwise, it would've gradually crept back and I never would've even had a shot at moving on. I just want you to hear from an external source that your feelings are valid and you are well within your rights to set this boundary. It is not unreasonable. How can you be expected to feel safe or respected by people who would choose to blithely look past someone abusing you?

I am here and my messages are always open if you need or want to talk about any of this.

 

Dr. Dre Apologizes for 1991 Assault: 'Any Man That Puts His Hands on a Female Is a F---Ing Idiot'

“This was a very low point in my life,” said Dre. “I’ve done a lot of stupid s— in my life. A lot of things I wish I could go and take back. I’ve experienced abuse. I’ve watched my mother get abused. So there’s absolutely no excuse for it. No woman should ever be treated that way“
He continued, “Any man that puts his hands on a female is a f—ing idiot. He’s out of his f—ing mind, and I was out of my f—ing mind at the time. I f—ed up, I paid for it, I’m sorry for it, and I apologize for it. I have this dark cloud that follows me, and it’s going to be attached to me forever. It’s a major blemish on who I am as a man.”

 

I can't pinpoint what bothers me about this one. Perhaps one thing is that she's like "If you want to learn more about nonbinary experiences, click on the videos in the description!" I have zero faith that anyone who doesn't already have a good understanding of what nonbinary is will click on those links.

 

we were chatting about this and laci's general turn towards kindaaaaaaaa vacuous and shitty perspectives and how she's been platforming awful people like TERFS and alt-right jackasses over in Social - The LGBTIQ Rights and Discussion Thread

to be clear, contrapoints is great, blaire white and megan murphy are awful

 

This is so badass
Woody Allen’s Jazz Concert in Germany Disrupted by Topless Feminists

 

Thank you so much for this, I cannot even tell you how much.

I am prepared to follow through on my boundary. I just wish I didn't have to. I want to be texting my mom funny pictures of my cats, not telling her that we aren't going to be able to talk anymore if she keeps talking to these other people. Sigh.

 

Punishing an entire sex because a small percentage are pieces of shit. How was this the best alternative they could think of?

 

It's a good protest exactly because of that.

 

Did you get mad when they had the female-only Wonder Woman screening?

 

When you're in a position of privilege, sometimes being inclusive means excluding yourself.

 

sorry but two men come in and say something that I'm just gonna have to disagree with here. I gotta be honest.

it doesn't teach anything, and just reinforces gender norms that "boys will be boys". that's literally what the reasoning is implying. It doesn't educate anyone about sexual assault nor does it improve gender relations.

You can't compare this to the Wonder woman screening, which I'm totally fine with if you need clarification.

It's one thing to have safe spaces for women and events for women, and it's another to use weird reasoning that implies men are animals that can't behave themselves. That's the kind of thing we need to push back against.

Again if they approached this differently I might agree with it, but I think it is a bit sloppy to just be like "men gotta behave themselves". and leave it at that.

 

I apologize. The reason for my being quick to jump is Oakhurst's posting history regarding social issues, representation and constant criticism of movements to counter those issues. His criticism is not the same as yours, but that it is a discomfort to men.

I understand that things like separate buses, train carts, and other forms of gendered separation for women enables the idea that men are animals that can't behave themselves. But is a festival that's exclusion of men, solely to bring attention to the fact that men should be held accountable and should change the same thing?

 

No I didn't get mad. 1 showing of a film that is for the celebration of a female super film and it will have numerous other showtimes for anyone else to see it is different than not allowing any males into a music festival. The two are not even comparable.

 

Oh yeah I get that. But I wanted to say this before anyone posted about it lol. I was just worried people would snap at me, and not try to have a reasonable discussion and ask about why I feel this way about this specific reasoning.

I just want to know - how does it educate anyone regardless of gender though?

That article gives zero indication that there's any advocacy, activism or even support groups going on at the actual festival for these issues? Maybe I've missed something.

Again, if there's more info about this l will probably change my mind, but so far it looks like it's just too reactionary.

I wouldn't compare this to movie screenings or clubs and organizations.

If the problem is really that bad there, they need to do actual work to help reduce these instances and that includes advising and education. A segregated festival in which the literal reasoning is "men gotta learn to behave themselves" doesn't come across as feminist to me.

 

My initial post should of been less "that's what makes it a good protest," and more "the point is to disrupt, create discomfort, force a ripple and bring attention to the issue" though I'm not sure on the success or effectiveness of a festival like this.

Because I agree on it's face it seems nice, but that's about it. But any attempt to recenter the issue around the comfort of men just... really?

Tbh I really shouldn't of responded.

 

Yeah but your reasoning for why it's incomparable is vastly different from aranea's. You're acting like your discomfort towards being excluded from this festival is of greater importance than women's discomfort with sexual harassment.

 

Oh yeah I'm not doing that lol, my criticisms are different