Jokes, pics you wouldn't normally psot • Page 27

Urban Dictionary: Broflake

 

There was a thread on Reddit about go to jokes you say when someone asks if you know a joke. I think my favorite was, "Say what you want about deaf people...."

What are some of your guys'?

 

what time did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?
ten-ish

 

Congratulations, you are a certified genius! Kidding aside, no offense here!

 

the two that came to mind are both super blue and I'm sorry

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them. He asks the first duck, "What's your name?"
"Huey," replies the duck. "So, how's your day been?"
"Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?" "Duey," replies the duck."So, how's your day been?" "Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?" The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles and don't ask me how my fucking day was."

knock knock
who's there?
Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson

 

me at work every day. That's the face of, "do I put this dude in his place or keep getting paid."

 

Reminds me of Jim from the Office lol

 

Can we just universally agree this is the greatest song of all time?

 

What does a pirate say when he turns 80?

AAAYYYEEEEEEEEMATEY

 

I've said this one on chorus before and for whatever reason it's basically the only joke I can remember these days and it's god awful.

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean.

 

finally a tattoo that speaks to me