Mental Health Thread • Page 129

been trying really hard not to be as bad as my last post was and its somewhat working but I know it sits in the back of my mind like "yeah okay, see you again soon someday" like frosty lol.
so much of my life is in the air.... the move with my girl, my brother is on trial, my father & grandma are not doing good - they wanna check my dad for cancer heart operating at 35%, all my friends either are dead or long gone cus of moves or just turning their back on people, my family has guilt me for wanting to progress and build with my girl, I quit my job to get ready for the move and now over a month later we're held up and she's mad atm at me saying how shes fed up with me (for things I'm beginning to think shes just manipulating cus she may be scared and is projecting herself onto me OR she wants to push me away cus she's don't know how to end it with me; at least not explosively.)
and i'm the one demonized cus of my depression and fear of wtf is going on, sitting around for over a month wondering if my life is gunna take the next step. its all too familiar, and I've hit the end of my rope with the bullshit.

 

Even though I feel more equipped to handle it, the feeling of being stuck right now is really tough. I feel like after every bold choice I make I just hit a wall and get sent right back into the waiting room. But here I am on the verge of another one of those choices hoping that this is the moment I break through.

 

This is me with my move, like 2 hours after that last post of mine here my girl hit me up saying "Come today, we need to fix our shit or see it off" fingers fucking crossed cus I know soon as I'm there I can make everything happen the way I/we want it too. But always something - a wall as you put it - and its SOOO frustrating, when all you really want is some progress.

 

Yeah man, I understand where you're coming from. I was in a relationship for 7 years that dealt with setback after setback and now that I'm finally out and ready to start life for myself, my family is kind of holding me hostage and I don't feel independent enough to branch out yet. But I just need to make a choice and take a leap of faith I guess. Hope everything works out for you!

 

Same exact thing here, my Mom like to guilt me for "leaving at such a time!?" (like what time? its time for me to take my next life step) and try saying I have no idea what I'm getting into. Perhaps, but I rather take a chance on myself and my own happiness that's mattered most to me for 6 years (my girl) than be stuck in the same rut, same hole, same small ass room forever. Hope everything works for you too man!

 

It's insane how much more confident I feel once my anxiety disappears for a moment. It feels like I'm a completely different person depending on my mood.

 

probably not the wave you're one... but I will say when I got my sister to smoke with me a few weeks back AFTER YEARS OF BEING AT ODDS she was super cooled out, laid back. we been super cool since.... even told me she wish she smoked sooner cus it helped with her anxiety.
I have it too, its impacted my relationships and stuff, anxiety is real. When at peace it REALLY IS like being a completely different person that you just totally fall in love with.

 

I'll take one of each! ❤️

 

The stigma surrounding marijuana is detrimental to mental health in my opinion. Almost everything shared here could be alleviated even if just for a small time from smoking. But you know big pharma wants to pump us full of chemicals but god forbid allow us something that our planet grows for us.

 

Has anyone else cut out- or cut down- caffeine to help with anxiety, and did it make a long-term difference?

The past two days, I've cut my coffee intake in half (I was drinking a steady... 3-4 large cups per day), and I have a raging headache, but my mind feels clearer.

 

I cut out soda, but also started going to the gym more and eating somewhat more healthy; so overall I just feel better most days.

 

I'm drinking caffeine at the moment, but have intermittently done no coffee for 2-3 months here and there and always feel better when doing it. Takes a little time at first, but worth it

 

It's something I never tried for anxiety, I guess I could try. There seems to be a huge stigma against weed in my country so it won't be anytime soon

 

A couple who are really important to me lost their little girl to leukaemia over the weekend. She was about 18 months old and the worst thing is that she had the all clear towards the end of last year but it came back recently and the doctors said there was nothing they could do. It's awful. I can't think of many things worse.

I've been so low over the weekend, barely being able to function. At work today and the office is completely empty and I'm really anxious and unable to concentrate. I don't really know what to do.

I keep thinking of my friends and what they must be going through. I don't live near by - they obviously have lots of family and friends supporting them. But how do you get over this? How do you cope with it? If I'm this distraught, what is it like for them to actually begin to process and deal with this? Thinking about them and what it must be like is probably what's triggering some of my mental health problems.

Does anyone have any advice/resources/stories of how to support people in this situation?

 

Growing up I felt like such an ugly loser but I just looked through my yearbook and omg we were all such greasy products of our time. Just more reason I wish I hadn't have put so much pressure on myself growing up. At the end of the day we all look back and laugh at old pictures of ourselves. The days I think I'm killing it now I'm sure I'll look back on and laugh at too in the future. It's kind of comforting to know that we're all just greasy awkward 13 year olds inside.

 

Went and got myself new headphones and pierced my septum today with my girl, after we went out to breakfast and went shopping for some things for the apartment we'll be moving into tomorrow. Really genuinely happy for once in my life, like no negative thoughts. It's crazy how fast things will change up once you're around the right situation/energy/people.

 

It's been nice the past few days too, that helps! Where in MD did you say you moved?

 

Really has we went to the national harbor saturday and it was gorgeous. We'll be living in Hyattsville, right now we're in Camp Springs.

 

That's such a nice area man. Haven't been to the casino yet. And I work in Hyattsville (on UMD campus).

 

It reminds me of the old classmate I came across at a birthday party the other day. We hadn't seen each other since the start of high school, so since 2011. She instantly went "hey you were the geek-y, nerd-y, intellectual one who was always sitting at the front and with the Justin Bieber haircut", something I hadn't heard since high school ended. That was so weird and I started feeling bad lol because it's a shitty stereotype that people associated me with for so long, I mean until I started University as a self hating 18 years old few years back. I always hated that image, and of course it never defined me. But then I was surprised : she couldn't stop complimenting me on my look and my appearance. We didn't know each other well, so I don't think she realized how I truly needed to hear those kind words afterwards.

 

I ate a bit more for dinner tonight, and had to put up with my dad saying "why are you eating more food? You're gonna get fat" and making hand gestures that I never stop eating. He was only "joking" but shit like this made me starve myself in my teens and hearing it again tonight made me look down at my stomach and feel really gross. I'm relatively healthy, I usually don't have large portions for lunch or dinner and only have healthy snacks. Plus I exercise a lot. I really hate being brought back to the time where I was an insecure, self-loathing teen. Sorry for not being a fucking size 8. Ugh. Never good enough for him

 

It really is. We sat at the harbor just looking at the carousel and talking for a good 30-45 minutes first time we got there. Havent been there either but she was asking if I was a casino guy and I was like eh... no, not really lol. But if she wants to go I'll take her. Still haven't got to the apartment yet today cus her boss called saying he needed her to do some work and we don't have WiFi there yet so we're staying at the hotel one more night then everything comes to pass. We were just in College Park today at the comics store and head shops lol.

 

Halfway through my taper off citalopram. My anxiety is through the roof for, idk, everything, higher than even my normal baseline heh. I really like this psychiatrist I've started seeing though. He reupped my anxiety meds and gave me a very low dose of adderall to try to help with my focus and concentration. I know increased depression fucks with those but I think I'm in a feedback loop at this point. He also wrote a letter on my behalf to give to HR in light of my write up.

Now if I could just get rid of the uncertainty around my job and living situation, heh.

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about quitting my job and trying to find something less stressful. Working 60-70 hours a week, running a kitchen, training people, doing inventory, ordering and planning menus is just getting to be too much for me. I think finding something less stressful would help my mental health for sure but the only thing is finding a job making the salary that I do at my current job. I also have no idea what else I would do since all my work experience in working in kitchens or around food.

I've thought about trying to get into a trade like plumbing or electrical work since my dad has connections with both of those but idk.

 

I'm going through a similar thing right now. My whole career has been writing/editing, no clue what else I'd do, particularly for a comparable salary. I actually have considered going into a trade, but I too am like... Idk

Anyway, you're not alone in the grind or with the uncertainty.